On Falling - Out of Love

This is a poem that I had written many years ago, when someone I knew had a break-up. As I saw the person tearing apart to take the final steps...I wrote the lines. I happened to read this again recently (pulled some books out of the attic), and I felt, its much more relevant in today's times, when sadly, most of the relationships are becoming 'temporary arrangements'. :-(

Not Anymore

I have been so confused
and for so long,
now, I don't know
whether the confusion
will end here
or, Go On.

I had been believing that I was in love,
the type in which
deep sighs were spared
and salty tears abhorred.
But now, after all this
which you have seen me suffer
and much more you didn't know
I went through,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.

I had always believed
you would respond
even to my slightest call,
But I proved myself wrong.
When I have been screaming,
you said, you don't hear
Anymore.

When did the Love end?
I can't point.
Is there any other chance?
I can't say.
But for now,
its best we,
part our way.

There is something else
I want you to know,
I can't say so,
but we both know:
How much responsible each one
of Us is, for all this...
and much more.

I took so long
to understand you didn't need me,
after having found
your different destination.
I don't want to
tag myself along
like a Candle-light;
when you reach out
to pick your star.
I thought being there
forever beside you
was the Ultimate Joy
I had been looking for.
I was wrong.
Not Anymore.

I never imagined
that you would leave me
and walk alone.
I had been so sure
of the security which
our Togetherness brought along.
But I guess, I had
been foolish enough
not to see the storm
which swept me off my feet,
and I was left empty-handed,
stupified and exasperated.

Inspite of all this,
I still thought I was in love,
even though I was devastated.
But now,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.

I have always been
getting webbed within
the valley of thoughts
but no more.
I have been indecisive
for a long span of time
but no more.
My confusion gave way
to intensive soul-search
and the painful probation,
has led me to
even more painful conclusion.
I was unable to realize,
I did not have courage to make a decision.
But No More.

I thought our Love
was an undying one.
I believed no one grows...
out of Love:
but You proved me wrong.
And now I am at a crossroad,
where I know, I have to put a Stop.
I can't go on.
I am not in Love.
Not Anymore.