1. Last night, when Saku didn't want to sleep and his dad was insisting, Saku asks Jeshu - "Whats your Pommel man?" (whats your problem man!) in typically his daddy's style. :-)
2. The other day, on seeing the "Dhoni-imitating-Rajni" advertisement, Sahil says, "Dey Rascal" in such a cute way that I wished I didn't have to stop him from using the word. :-(
3. This morning, when his Dad left with him for school without taking his rain-jacket, Sahil tells me: "Sahil like rain, sahil like to get wet, papa also like rain know?" as I was mumbling that it might rain, what would he do.
4. I try to scare the little fellow with an imaginary "Budda baba" sometimes. Because we don't want him to be a Scared Cat, he has also been told, if he behaves well, Papa will beat up the "Budda baba". When Sahil gets angry over something, sometimes he says, "You wait. Budda baba come and beat you nicely." Or he talks to Budda Baba as, "Budda baba, come soon. Mummy not putting Tom and Jerry know. Take mummy and go to your house." :-))
5. Ask Sahil the time and we get one of the following answers: "10.30", "8.30". Today he gave a very nice one - "30.40", trying to impress urgency that I was already creating while dressing him for school.
6. As it becomes late to put Saku to bed almost everyday, I push aside the bed-time story reading sometimes. Last night, inspite of it having been beyond the bed-time, I took the initiative of reading "Pit, Pat, Pet and the Naughty Giant" with Saku. Guess what my son asks surprised (after we finish reading) - "Mumma, Tomorrow Holidayyyyyy?" :-) I had to explain its a working day tomorrow and we can't stay up late everyday. He again asks me, "Mumma not tieeeuuuudddhh today?" (mumma not Tired today). I love him!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
On Falling - Out of Love
This is a poem that I had written many years ago, when someone I knew had a break-up. As I saw the person tearing apart to take the final steps...I wrote the lines. I happened to read this again recently (pulled some books out of the attic), and I felt, its much more relevant in today's times, when sadly, most of the relationships are becoming 'temporary arrangements'. :-(
Not Anymore
I have been so confused
and for so long,
now, I don't know
whether the confusion
will end here
or, Go On.
I had been believing that I was in love,
the type in which
deep sighs were spared
and salty tears abhorred.
But now, after all this
which you have seen me suffer
and much more you didn't know
I went through,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.
I had always believed
you would respond
even to my slightest call,
But I proved myself wrong.
When I have been screaming,
you said, you don't hear
Anymore.
When did the Love end?
I can't point.
Is there any other chance?
I can't say.
But for now,
its best we,
part our way.
There is something else
I want you to know,
I can't say so,
but we both know:
How much responsible each one
of Us is, for all this...
and much more.
I took so long
to understand you didn't need me,
after having found
your different destination.
I don't want to
tag myself along
like a Candle-light;
when you reach out
to pick your star.
I thought being there
forever beside you
was the Ultimate Joy
I had been looking for.
I was wrong.
Not Anymore.
I never imagined
that you would leave me
and walk alone.
I had been so sure
of the security which
our Togetherness brought along.
But I guess, I had
been foolish enough
not to see the storm
which swept me off my feet,
and I was left empty-handed,
stupified and exasperated.
Inspite of all this,
I still thought I was in love,
even though I was devastated.
But now,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.
I have always been
getting webbed within
the valley of thoughts
but no more.
I have been indecisive
for a long span of time
but no more.
My confusion gave way
to intensive soul-search
and the painful probation,
has led me to
even more painful conclusion.
I was unable to realize,
I did not have courage to make a decision.
But No More.
I thought our Love
was an undying one.
I believed no one grows...
out of Love:
but You proved me wrong.
And now I am at a crossroad,
where I know, I have to put a Stop.
I can't go on.
I am not in Love.
Not Anymore.
Not Anymore
I have been so confused
and for so long,
now, I don't know
whether the confusion
will end here
or, Go On.
I had been believing that I was in love,
the type in which
deep sighs were spared
and salty tears abhorred.
But now, after all this
which you have seen me suffer
and much more you didn't know
I went through,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.
I had always believed
you would respond
even to my slightest call,
But I proved myself wrong.
When I have been screaming,
you said, you don't hear
Anymore.
When did the Love end?
I can't point.
Is there any other chance?
I can't say.
But for now,
its best we,
part our way.
There is something else
I want you to know,
I can't say so,
but we both know:
How much responsible each one
of Us is, for all this...
and much more.
I took so long
to understand you didn't need me,
after having found
your different destination.
I don't want to
tag myself along
like a Candle-light;
when you reach out
to pick your star.
I thought being there
forever beside you
was the Ultimate Joy
I had been looking for.
I was wrong.
Not Anymore.
I never imagined
that you would leave me
and walk alone.
I had been so sure
of the security which
our Togetherness brought along.
But I guess, I had
been foolish enough
not to see the storm
which swept me off my feet,
and I was left empty-handed,
stupified and exasperated.
Inspite of all this,
I still thought I was in love,
even though I was devastated.
But now,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.
I have always been
getting webbed within
the valley of thoughts
but no more.
I have been indecisive
for a long span of time
but no more.
My confusion gave way
to intensive soul-search
and the painful probation,
has led me to
even more painful conclusion.
I was unable to realize,
I did not have courage to make a decision.
But No More.
I thought our Love
was an undying one.
I believed no one grows...
out of Love:
but You proved me wrong.
And now I am at a crossroad,
where I know, I have to put a Stop.
I can't go on.
I am not in Love.
Not Anymore.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Daily Meditation For Women - WIIIFM
*WIIIFM - What's In It For Me....
God has His Own way of answering some of our questions. Just as I was wondering, if I need to change...there is this meditation message in my Inbox on "Taking a Chance".
God has His Own way of answering some of our questions. Just as I was wondering, if I need to change...there is this meditation message in my Inbox on "Taking a Chance".
** I am adding today's meditation with their Copyright info here, to let my reader's know what they stand to gain by subscribing to "Daily Message" from "Meditations for Women".
*** To enrol yourself, use the hyperlinked image below the "Daily Messages to Empower Yourself" text (on the right side).
Why Can't I be just - Noddy
Yeah, must learn to become Noddy. ;-) Anything assigned? Nod. Anything re-routed? Nod. Anything stalled? Raise a concern but remember to Nod. Being asked to go against the rules? Think. Question. Confirm. Nod. Being asked to create history? Nod. Being asked to Erase History? Nod. Being asked to involve someone else? Nod. Being asked not to clarify your point of view? Nod. Being asked to generate Reports? Nod. You want to differ with someone? Nod (no need to differ). You want to offer suggestion? Nod (No one needs it). Someone not willing to decide? Nod.
Nodding is the only way up? Thanks Noddy. Sometimes your philosophy makes life grind less-stressful.
Nodding is the only way up? Thanks Noddy. Sometimes your philosophy makes life grind less-stressful.
What To Do When...
1. Someone whom you think a Friend, proves you wrong?
2. Someone whom you trust, chooses not to trust you?
3. Someone whom you discuss things with, prefers to avoid sharing important decisions?
4. Someone whom you expect to understand you and value you by creating bonds, walks over you as a surprise?
Only things left to do is:
(a) Avoid blaming yourself or the other person.
(b) Avoid feeling pained even if intentionally hurt.
(c) Overlook what happened and go your way.
(d) Look for what lies beneath and correct yourself (even if you can't spot what went wrong)
(e) Most importantly, do not estimate your worth by such incidents. :-) People come, people go, life still goes on.
(f) Don't look for answers. All questions do not have answers.
2. Someone whom you trust, chooses not to trust you?
3. Someone whom you discuss things with, prefers to avoid sharing important decisions?
4. Someone whom you expect to understand you and value you by creating bonds, walks over you as a surprise?
Only things left to do is:
(a) Avoid blaming yourself or the other person.
(b) Avoid feeling pained even if intentionally hurt.
(c) Overlook what happened and go your way.
(d) Look for what lies beneath and correct yourself (even if you can't spot what went wrong)
(e) Most importantly, do not estimate your worth by such incidents. :-) People come, people go, life still goes on.
(f) Don't look for answers. All questions do not have answers.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
His Japanese-Styled Hindi
That's exactly how my bro describes the basic 'hindi' that my son speaks. Japanese-Hindi :-)
His gender-mixed sentences are good. Wanna capture some of the 'beautiful phrases' he has spilt recently...
1. The other day, when Sahil got irritated with me not letting him come into the wahsroom while I was washing clothes; he stares at me and says, "thahher ja. batati hoon main tujhey." (Hold on, I will tell you.) Thats something I use rarely for Sahil, just to give him a feel that I have got irritated with what he did.
2. On seeing my bro's bike in their compound and not finding my bro in his house (bro was hiding), the little fellow asked my mum, "Naani, Maamu kahan gayi?" (where has mamu (in sense - she) gone?) My bro was caught laughing.
3. While doing home-work, Sahil suddenly pulls the eraser and says - "main karoongi". (I will do - feminine)
4. When he is trying to impress me with something that he remembers I have asked him not to do, he says - "Main aisay karoongi toh mummy marengay" (If I do like this (feminine), mummy will beat me (plural))
His gender-mixed sentences are good. Wanna capture some of the 'beautiful phrases' he has spilt recently...
1. The other day, when Sahil got irritated with me not letting him come into the wahsroom while I was washing clothes; he stares at me and says, "thahher ja. batati hoon main tujhey." (Hold on, I will tell you.) Thats something I use rarely for Sahil, just to give him a feel that I have got irritated with what he did.
2. On seeing my bro's bike in their compound and not finding my bro in his house (bro was hiding), the little fellow asked my mum, "Naani, Maamu kahan gayi?" (where has mamu (in sense - she) gone?) My bro was caught laughing.
3. While doing home-work, Sahil suddenly pulls the eraser and says - "main karoongi". (I will do - feminine)
4. When he is trying to impress me with something that he remembers I have asked him not to do, he says - "Main aisay karoongi toh mummy marengay" (If I do like this (feminine), mummy will beat me (plural))
Sour Grapes?
As Sahil was slowly munching Grapes last evening, his dad asked him - "Why are you eating grapes so slowly?" We thought maybe his grapes were sour. Pat came the reply, "Grapes havin' Bones know, that's why I am eatingh slowly. " We realized, we had bought big green grapes which were not seed-less. :-))
Monday, July 28, 2008
Un-Learning Corporate Skills
Yeah, the title of this post is a little absurd.... This is not a "Guide to Dealing Professionally", incase you thought it was. I am just going to add my Reminder Points (so I can look them up again) - picked up over the jobs I held until now and the roles I have seen people play. :-) The Number One rule is my favourite, though I never agreed with it personally in my younger days. :-))
1. There is no place for any emotions in the Workplace. (Your Tears ... fears ... sentiments ... and feelings are better placed elsewhere).
2. Do not expect anything from anyone. Its easier said than done, but I guess, this is the best way to avoid being pained for anything.
3. Share only about yourself. Even by mistake, do not share your opinion of anyone - however close your-so-called-friends may make you feel. That way, you save yourself 2 pains - One - Of having said something you shouldn't have and Two - Of having shared something with someone who may not even feel the way you do. :-) Opinions Change, Opinions Differ.
4. Remember, in the Corporate World, everyone is "More or Less - an Acquaintance". Do not work/worry/bother to create friendships. Who seems a friend today, may not be so, in the long run. Save yourself the trouble of saying what you feel like saying. Ask yourself - "Do I need to say anything at all?" before you open yourself to others.
5. Trust everyone equally. Special trust is Only for yourself, God and your Manager. ;-) Jus kidding. Observe how people deal with each other, what level of sharing they do. No harm in sharing your views on general topics. Anything personal, do you need to share?
6. Remember, You hold your position firstly because of the work you put in. Ensure you give your best there and better it each time you have something to do. Everything else is secondary.
7. Do not Value yourself based on other's opinion. Similarly, do not go by someone else's opinion for anyone. Find out for yourself. Start positively.
8. Last but most important. Look for the "Positive Forte's" of your colleagues. Try to imbibe the same and move on.
Officially - What I know, what I don't know --- no longer matters. I have matured, finally.
* Inspite of all my new wisdom, I have made profound friendships at my job places earlier. I value all of them. I have begun to change my thinking to the extent that, if an acquanitance has to move one step ahead and change into anything of value - it would happen. I do not have to go through the 'thought-process' of 'how good/bad a friend an acquaintance really is'. Be natural, be myself while I am here. Thats all that matters, right?
1. There is no place for any emotions in the Workplace. (Your Tears ... fears ... sentiments ... and feelings are better placed elsewhere).
2. Do not expect anything from anyone. Its easier said than done, but I guess, this is the best way to avoid being pained for anything.
3. Share only about yourself. Even by mistake, do not share your opinion of anyone - however close your-so-called-friends may make you feel. That way, you save yourself 2 pains - One - Of having said something you shouldn't have and Two - Of having shared something with someone who may not even feel the way you do. :-) Opinions Change, Opinions Differ.
4. Remember, in the Corporate World, everyone is "More or Less - an Acquaintance". Do not work/worry/bother to create friendships. Who seems a friend today, may not be so, in the long run. Save yourself the trouble of saying what you feel like saying. Ask yourself - "Do I need to say anything at all?" before you open yourself to others.
5. Trust everyone equally. Special trust is Only for yourself, God and your Manager. ;-) Jus kidding. Observe how people deal with each other, what level of sharing they do. No harm in sharing your views on general topics. Anything personal, do you need to share?
6. Remember, You hold your position firstly because of the work you put in. Ensure you give your best there and better it each time you have something to do. Everything else is secondary.
7. Do not Value yourself based on other's opinion. Similarly, do not go by someone else's opinion for anyone. Find out for yourself. Start positively.
8. Last but most important. Look for the "Positive Forte's" of your colleagues. Try to imbibe the same and move on.
Officially - What I know, what I don't know --- no longer matters. I have matured, finally.
* Inspite of all my new wisdom, I have made profound friendships at my job places earlier. I value all of them. I have begun to change my thinking to the extent that, if an acquanitance has to move one step ahead and change into anything of value - it would happen. I do not have to go through the 'thought-process' of 'how good/bad a friend an acquaintance really is'. Be natural, be myself while I am here. Thats all that matters, right?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Doing Homework with Maamu
For few 'd' letters that my son was to complete as Home-Work yesterday, he allowed my bro to guide his palm. As if he had had enough, Sahil suddenly changed plates. Asking my bro to hold the pencil, Sahil states - "Maamu, see poperly. I am Miss. Hold the pencil, now make like this, do like that. Sahil teach now know. You do like that only. Okay. Don't make NAYKES." I was aghast at hearing 'don't make Naykes' as I had jokingly told Sahil sometime earlier that when he writes independently, his letter 'd' looks like snake. My son is mastering the art of catching words before they spill out of our mouths!
My bro declared that Sahil can do his homework after going to his house. :-))
My bro declared that Sahil can do his homework after going to his house. :-))
Our Trip to Kannur
Saturday Morning (12July) had made an un-planned trip to Kannur as my father-in-law was hospitalized. By God's grace, he is much better now and recovering. Wish to summarize the activities my son absorbed himself in, during the time...
1. The long hours at hospital taught my son to be relatively still. Every half an hour though, at the first opportunity, the little one would run out into the corridor. At one point, when he was too frisky, I tried telling him that the nurse would give him an injection. He retorted, "Biggg Injection? Nurse not give Sahil, sahil small boy know." :-)
2. Once home in Kerala, the huge space does wonders to uplift my spirits and how can then my littul one remain unaffected? He goes around exploring every nook and corner, especially the frontyard. He finds the 'Centipedes' and other worms. I remember, pervious trip, he had come to the kitchen and shown me - "Mumma, see 'Entipeeeede'" and when I turned trying to search the creature on the floor - Sahil opened his palm and revealed the crawly!!! I had made him drop that immediately (was scared about his safety) and admonished him from holding those.
Touching those.
This time around, he spotted some of them trying to go into a small fence like enclosure. Sadly, my growing up son chose to show his power to those help-less crawlies and stoned one before I could catch him doing that. Proudly, he comes running to me and says, "Mumma, Sahil beat that entipeeede. Entipeeede not moving now." I had to admonish him this time, against any such attacks, until he is in danger. Next morning, my son finds a group of Centipedes and goes as close as possible to them and shouts to me, "Mumma, see, Entipeeede coming to bite me. Sahil beat it now?". :-)) I was half-smiling when I moved him away and asked him to stand far, so they won't bite him and he doesn't get validity to repeat his stoning!
No wonder my Father-in-law was amused at his grandson's researches in his yard.
3. As work kept me busy, I had strictly told sahil to 'Watch your step, see where you are keeping your foot, otherwise you will fall down' while coming downstairs alone. One still afternoon, as I was cleaning dishes, my son announes, "Mumma, sahil coming down on stairs. No pommel (problem). Sahil coming slowly. I am seeing Mumma, where my foot going. sahil not fall down. Sahil not geth hut (get hurt)" :-)) I was thrilled to note that my words were saved in the little one's head atleast for the time being.
4. After returning back, while dressing him up for school I posed the question, "Saku, Your Maam will ask you why you did not come to school so many days. What will you tell Maam?" My sweet little monkey excitedly announces - "Sahil tell Maam - Sahil gone to Kerela know. Sahil played nicely." I was convinced his teacher is not going to trust that we rushed on long leave for a valid reason. :-(
1. The long hours at hospital taught my son to be relatively still. Every half an hour though, at the first opportunity, the little one would run out into the corridor. At one point, when he was too frisky, I tried telling him that the nurse would give him an injection. He retorted, "Biggg Injection? Nurse not give Sahil, sahil small boy know." :-)
2. Once home in Kerala, the huge space does wonders to uplift my spirits and how can then my littul one remain unaffected? He goes around exploring every nook and corner, especially the frontyard. He finds the 'Centipedes' and other worms. I remember, pervious trip, he had come to the kitchen and shown me - "Mumma, see 'Entipeeeede'" and when I turned trying to search the creature on the floor - Sahil opened his palm and revealed the crawly!!! I had made him drop that immediately (was scared about his safety) and admonished him from holding those.
Touching those.
This time around, he spotted some of them trying to go into a small fence like enclosure. Sadly, my growing up son chose to show his power to those help-less crawlies and stoned one before I could catch him doing that. Proudly, he comes running to me and says, "Mumma, Sahil beat that entipeeede. Entipeeede not moving now." I had to admonish him this time, against any such attacks, until he is in danger. Next morning, my son finds a group of Centipedes and goes as close as possible to them and shouts to me, "Mumma, see, Entipeeede coming to bite me. Sahil beat it now?". :-)) I was half-smiling when I moved him away and asked him to stand far, so they won't bite him and he doesn't get validity to repeat his stoning!
No wonder my Father-in-law was amused at his grandson's researches in his yard.
3. As work kept me busy, I had strictly told sahil to 'Watch your step, see where you are keeping your foot, otherwise you will fall down' while coming downstairs alone. One still afternoon, as I was cleaning dishes, my son announes, "Mumma, sahil coming down on stairs. No pommel (problem). Sahil coming slowly. I am seeing Mumma, where my foot going. sahil not fall down. Sahil not geth hut (get hurt)" :-)) I was thrilled to note that my words were saved in the little one's head atleast for the time being.
4. After returning back, while dressing him up for school I posed the question, "Saku, Your Maam will ask you why you did not come to school so many days. What will you tell Maam?" My sweet little monkey excitedly announces - "Sahil tell Maam - Sahil gone to Kerela know. Sahil played nicely." I was convinced his teacher is not going to trust that we rushed on long leave for a valid reason. :-(
Searching - Why My Blog Exists...
Why I write
Coz I like to. Truly, I don't know, its just that it comes with so much ease to pen down and there is always so much to write about. Just not enough time though. :-( The travails of a working life, the willingness to just drop everything and only live life each day - minus the 'Have-Tos".
What Your Comments Mean to Me
Ideally, one must not base her importance on the appreciation/criticism of another. :-) Of course, When it comes to writing, its important to know, what the 'Readers' think of it. Is it something they want to read? Is it something that they would like to come back to? Is it good enough to give them a sense of being, as that's basically what 'Writing' is about. Are they able to relate to what they read? (In that regard, my posts about my kiddo are worthless? I don't hope so! They make me feel good, is it only me who relates to those??)
Read somewhere - The Blog must have a Goal too. Not just our lives. Goal for a Blog? What's the Goal of my blog? This brings me back a whole circle to the question I posed myself - 'Why I write'? Why am I Blogging? Is it to prove to myself, I have not forgotten to capture emotions in words? Nay. To help my ever-fading memory? :-) Maybe. When did I start? Way back in my school-days? Yeah, that's when I wrote some poetry - partly imaginary and partly emotionally. Hmm...Turned to Haikus style for convenience. What did I write recently only for myself? For Father's Day - wrote a heart-felt poem for my papa, whom I miss more than I like to acknowledge. Time has taken him away earlier than I could return the care he showered...Where is this post heading? Its supposed to give me answer to the ultimate - why.
Coming back to that...I can write about almost anything. ;-) You tell me, what you like to read about? What do you look for - while Reading Blogs? I'll see how far I can mould my blog for that. Till then, its all going to me my kiddo and life as I see it. :-) keep Readin and lettin me know what You think of what U read!
How to Make My Blog Better
One thing, its all text presently. I must add some pics. Thats pending. What else will enhance the writing space? Your Comments. :-)) Maybe a little work is required on my Profile too. Template? I updated that recently. I read some valuable tips on improving Blog Value. Let me see if I can ensure sticking to the "Good-to-Do" tips. Your suggestions are welcome.
Coz I like to. Truly, I don't know, its just that it comes with so much ease to pen down and there is always so much to write about. Just not enough time though. :-( The travails of a working life, the willingness to just drop everything and only live life each day - minus the 'Have-Tos".
What Your Comments Mean to Me
Ideally, one must not base her importance on the appreciation/criticism of another. :-) Of course, When it comes to writing, its important to know, what the 'Readers' think of it. Is it something they want to read? Is it something that they would like to come back to? Is it good enough to give them a sense of being, as that's basically what 'Writing' is about. Are they able to relate to what they read? (In that regard, my posts about my kiddo are worthless? I don't hope so! They make me feel good, is it only me who relates to those??)
Read somewhere - The Blog must have a Goal too. Not just our lives. Goal for a Blog? What's the Goal of my blog? This brings me back a whole circle to the question I posed myself - 'Why I write'? Why am I Blogging? Is it to prove to myself, I have not forgotten to capture emotions in words? Nay. To help my ever-fading memory? :-) Maybe. When did I start? Way back in my school-days? Yeah, that's when I wrote some poetry - partly imaginary and partly emotionally. Hmm...Turned to Haikus style for convenience. What did I write recently only for myself? For Father's Day - wrote a heart-felt poem for my papa, whom I miss more than I like to acknowledge. Time has taken him away earlier than I could return the care he showered...Where is this post heading? Its supposed to give me answer to the ultimate - why.
Coming back to that...I can write about almost anything. ;-) You tell me, what you like to read about? What do you look for - while Reading Blogs? I'll see how far I can mould my blog for that. Till then, its all going to me my kiddo and life as I see it. :-) keep Readin and lettin me know what You think of what U read!
How to Make My Blog Better
One thing, its all text presently. I must add some pics. Thats pending. What else will enhance the writing space? Your Comments. :-)) Maybe a little work is required on my Profile too. Template? I updated that recently. I read some valuable tips on improving Blog Value. Let me see if I can ensure sticking to the "Good-to-Do" tips. Your suggestions are welcome.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Taaray Zameen Par and My Moon
Wonderful Movie, already acknowledged as a Class apart from the rest. I felt it is an eye-opener for parents, especially relevant in our times when the kids are mostly being marketed and showcased. The children being the soft targets of all advertisements and the pushy-parents who wish to see them soar (higher than their own achievements). Strange, how we parents seem to have started measuring our success as parents by the achievements we showcase of our kids. How tough it is to be a child in this Generation then! We grow with them, in a way... and am sure, many parents grew with this movie that brings alive the childhood, not just the needs of a special child.
Guess, its time to stand back and look at the world with the little ones, through their eyes; instead of forcing our glasses on them. Let them shade their own lens, let them build their own vision, let us just enhance what they see; not show them what we see/want them to see. Can we hold their little fingers and still walk in their pace, without pulling them to walk faster???
Leaving aside what I think of the movie, let me pen down how it touched my little one. Sahil loved the "Bum Chik" song. As most other kids, he doesn't like the 'Ma....' song where Enu cries. For few days, after we saw the movie, he was comparing himself to Enu. One day, I was surprised, when I was making him wear his shoes, he says, "Enu mummy make him wear shoes know!" I had almost forgotten the specific scene when she hurries him to school (I do that everyday too!) but yes, I was touched when my son remembered that.
Watching that movie has made me more aware of the 'childlike curiosity' that my son displays now and then. As it is, sometimes I feel, I am a very emotional parent. Seeing the world with Enu's eyes...was tough... but it has become much more beautiful ever since; as I stand and watch my son grow(instead of pushing and pulling him). I am learning to give in to my child's demands to tie his shoes himself, eat his food himself even though all it takes is a little time and spill-over. :-) I want him to grow at his own pace. As Aamir says, "Every little ant carries the load according to himself".
I have mostly shown the Moon to Sahil, unintentionally on Full Moon days. Looking at the moon few evenings ago, Sahil says in a little sad voice, "Mumma, see, Broken moon." :-) Had fun telling him, he will grow too!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Sishya School Fete - 5July2008
I was invited by a colleague whose kids are in Sishya, to take my son to the Fete held in their school. :-) I enjoyed the evening and yes, it brought back so many memories (of my school-days!) and helped me create fresh ones with my son...Here's the gist of all that came flooding to my head...
(a) Seeing the 'Young Kids' act older than their age was an amusing reminder of the way we have been same too, long ago. :-) The thought that they too would soon outgrow being 'their age' was painful somewhere.
(b) Even funnier was to see, we grown-ups tryin to feel/behave younger than we are. :-))
(c) There was this long queue for 'Tatoo' for the kids and a fresh-looking high-school girl waiting to get a 'Scorpion' done on her face. :-) While waiting for his turn, my son waivered between 'Power Ranger' - 'Batman' - 'Spiderman' and returned to original choice 'Power Ranger' just when our chance came. I was glad, I didn't have to waste the maker's time while my son tried to decide!
(d) Even the small girls prove they are 'Girls' and boys prove they are 'Boys' by selecting 'Butterflies" and "Spiderman" respectively...
(e) The 'Pony Ride' - The 'Pony' was much more of a 'Horse' than a Pony! I considered my tiny little one, and the Horse seemed 8-10 times Sahil's size...it didn't take me long to back-off from the ride. At that minute, wished Sahil's dad was with us so I could unhesitatingly push the little fellow forward. Moral Support!
(f) Wanted to get my Hair 'Streaked' and the little one's 'Styled' but the crowd was HUGE in both the stalls. I was sure, had we tried to get a turn; my hair and Sahil's would have been 'pulled in all directions' and may not even be on our heads eventually! :-) Gave it a glance and a pass.
(g) Merry-go-round was 'rounding-off' at such a speed that I felt dizzy watching other children on it. I asked Sahil if he wanted to go on that, he said - "No. Mumma." :-)
(f) I always thought my son would like Cotton Candy...he didn't! :-) Tried spitting it out (like he does with food thats not of his liking) and messed his mouth. :-)
(g) Bullock-Cart Ride - This was the 'Star Item'. Paid for it and made my son comfortably sit in the traditionally covered cart. The cart had some windows and Lo! within a minute my son jumped into my lap through the window. He felt the two Bulls in the front would take him somewhere away from me. Missed the first round - as he was not willing to sit - until he understood the extent of the ride!
While the cart made the First Round, I tried boosting his confidence by making him understand that they would return to where I was standing. Second round, he allowed me to seat him again. Just when the ride began, his wailing too!! Before I could decide how to handle him (as I didn't want him to miss the experience)...the Bullock-Cart Ride agent started requesting me to join my son for the ride! I felt foolish for a second, but then thought, if he doesn't have a problem - why am I thinking so much! Just got into the Cart and all the little ones turned to acknowledge the grown-up by their side. My son - ofcourse, was the happiest. :-) As I was beginning to feel at ease, my colleague spots me adjusting myself inside the cart and announces - "I don't think the Ride is for the Parents!" I wished, I could vanish. :-))
One saving grace was, the silly thought in my head - "What all the kids make their parents do!"
;-)
(h) Birds and Animals - This was fun. Sahil tried to catch the two ducks and was amused at hear their sound. We saw birds, parrot (it even sat on my shoulder, Sahil was scared!), cats/Kittens and Rabbits! :-)
Overall, a Big Thanks to S for inviting us to the Fete. :-)
(a) Seeing the 'Young Kids' act older than their age was an amusing reminder of the way we have been same too, long ago. :-) The thought that they too would soon outgrow being 'their age' was painful somewhere.
(b) Even funnier was to see, we grown-ups tryin to feel/behave younger than we are. :-))
(c) There was this long queue for 'Tatoo' for the kids and a fresh-looking high-school girl waiting to get a 'Scorpion' done on her face. :-) While waiting for his turn, my son waivered between 'Power Ranger' - 'Batman' - 'Spiderman' and returned to original choice 'Power Ranger' just when our chance came. I was glad, I didn't have to waste the maker's time while my son tried to decide!
(d) Even the small girls prove they are 'Girls' and boys prove they are 'Boys' by selecting 'Butterflies" and "Spiderman" respectively...
(e) The 'Pony Ride' - The 'Pony' was much more of a 'Horse' than a Pony! I considered my tiny little one, and the Horse seemed 8-10 times Sahil's size...it didn't take me long to back-off from the ride. At that minute, wished Sahil's dad was with us so I could unhesitatingly push the little fellow forward. Moral Support!
(f) Wanted to get my Hair 'Streaked' and the little one's 'Styled' but the crowd was HUGE in both the stalls. I was sure, had we tried to get a turn; my hair and Sahil's would have been 'pulled in all directions' and may not even be on our heads eventually! :-) Gave it a glance and a pass.
(g) Merry-go-round was 'rounding-off' at such a speed that I felt dizzy watching other children on it. I asked Sahil if he wanted to go on that, he said - "No. Mumma." :-)
(f) I always thought my son would like Cotton Candy...he didn't! :-) Tried spitting it out (like he does with food thats not of his liking) and messed his mouth. :-)
(g) Bullock-Cart Ride - This was the 'Star Item'. Paid for it and made my son comfortably sit in the traditionally covered cart. The cart had some windows and Lo! within a minute my son jumped into my lap through the window. He felt the two Bulls in the front would take him somewhere away from me. Missed the first round - as he was not willing to sit - until he understood the extent of the ride!
While the cart made the First Round, I tried boosting his confidence by making him understand that they would return to where I was standing. Second round, he allowed me to seat him again. Just when the ride began, his wailing too!! Before I could decide how to handle him (as I didn't want him to miss the experience)...the Bullock-Cart Ride agent started requesting me to join my son for the ride! I felt foolish for a second, but then thought, if he doesn't have a problem - why am I thinking so much! Just got into the Cart and all the little ones turned to acknowledge the grown-up by their side. My son - ofcourse, was the happiest. :-) As I was beginning to feel at ease, my colleague spots me adjusting myself inside the cart and announces - "I don't think the Ride is for the Parents!" I wished, I could vanish. :-))
One saving grace was, the silly thought in my head - "What all the kids make their parents do!"
;-)
(h) Birds and Animals - This was fun. Sahil tried to catch the two ducks and was amused at hear their sound. We saw birds, parrot (it even sat on my shoulder, Sahil was scared!), cats/Kittens and Rabbits! :-)
Overall, a Big Thanks to S for inviting us to the Fete. :-)
Willing to Sell property to Vegetarians Only!
What? Huh? Did I read it correctly? ... yeah, I thought the same things when I saw the online 'Flat Sale Advertisement' of some of the flats in Chennai. I don't understand the rationale behind such a criterion. In what ways would Non-vegetarians be not-the-right property buyers? I can understand the 'vegetarian-oriented sentiments' of a house-owner if the property is 'For Rent' and the Owner resides in the same premises. But while 'Selling' off the same, looking or rather opting to look only at the Vegetarianism of the Buyer...sets me thinking.
Do Vegetarians make better buyers? Better property keepers? Are lesser violent in case of discrepancies ;-) ? Why the favouritism? What if the kids of the so-called-vegetarian family turn non-vegetarian years from now? :-)
Keep the comments coming, if you have an answer...
Do Vegetarians make better buyers? Better property keepers? Are lesser violent in case of discrepancies ;-) ? Why the favouritism? What if the kids of the so-called-vegetarian family turn non-vegetarian years from now? :-)
Keep the comments coming, if you have an answer...
June End Updates
1. Went to temple with Hubby/son/Bro and Mum. Had instructed my son not to make noise while we go in to pray. He religiously behaved himself and I was happy that not even once, I had to say, "Sahil, don't make noise". :-) I was reminded he is afterall a kiddo, as while coming out of the temple gate, my son asks, "Sahil make sound now?"
2. The other day I was speaking to my bro over the phone and he asked if I wanted him to bring anything. Ofcourse sahil did not hear my bro's question, but he decoded the same from my answer - "No, I don't want anything". Almost immediately, my son says, "Maamu, sahil want to talk" and I handed over the phone to Sahil. He says, "maamu, bring bananas okay. Sahil like banana. Okay, Bye". No chance given to my brother to refuse!
2. The other day I was speaking to my bro over the phone and he asked if I wanted him to bring anything. Ofcourse sahil did not hear my bro's question, but he decoded the same from my answer - "No, I don't want anything". Almost immediately, my son says, "Maamu, sahil want to talk" and I handed over the phone to Sahil. He says, "maamu, bring bananas okay. Sahil like banana. Okay, Bye". No chance given to my brother to refuse!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Letter to S - On Entering New Relationship
* This was a letter that I had originally written for a close friend who was apprehensive about her approaching wedding. :-) Also, passed this on to some other friends who valued and appreciated the same in their trial times... Wasn't sure if I wanted to add it to my Blog, but still...here it is.
Dear S,
This is going to be a Big Mail. I'll try to put all that I have felt, learnt in my marriage to help you feel more secured, more confident that you can handle it all well. :-)
One, I wish to share something with you. Inspite of it being an awaited relationship, we also faced some trials in the early days of my marriage. Believe me, even in love marriages, one does come across small-small things… after all, married life itself has lots to teach and it’s a new experience for every individual.
I was not good at time-management…I have been quite slow irrespective of the fact that we had to be in office on time… After more than one year of togetherness, I have learnt a lot, as a wife, as a partner and biggest learning is….there is lots to learn each day and yes, I have consciously improved on points I had to get better at.
So, just in case, you come across small-small dissatisfactions/trials in your daily life, please remember and focus on the fact that marriage is a lovely relationship and its worth doing all you can for maintaining happiness / balance and love in the same. You may face some petty differences, which when occur seem biggest things!!! But are actually not, if you look at them objectively. Be prepared to make your home a nice place to be – atleast for the bonds that matter.
Two, take good care of yourself and your hubby, take time out for yourself and him, don’t be too demanding, put forth your view with love …… and life would be not just easy, but also enjoyable.
As a friend, I pray you have a life-long loving relationship with your partner (that way life would never feel overpowering…it would just be nice to live).
Three, I request, whatever your trials, please do not discuss it with anyone who can’t help, except someone whom you can trust to advise well and still be quiet about it. It not only can give a bad impression about your hubby (which deep inside we women don’t like to) but also about in the ways you are ruining your relationship.
Four, I want you to understand that for almost a year now, you both will be in the phase of getting to know each-other. Your understanding phase also starts the day you marry… and yes, please note, we all are not perfect. It is good to strive for perfection in ourselves and others, but please set realistic expectations, if at all you set any.
Five, it becomes your responsibility to communicate and convey your feelings to each-other. This is most important when something troubles you but as a Golden Rule, if you are comfortable communicating without hurting, your marriage will go a long way. Believe me, that’s half the trouble. We women like to believe, the men will understand hints or unspoken feelings. Trust me, how much ever a man might love you, if at all there is anything that makes you unhappy, until you convey it to him, he might not be even aware!! So, don't wait to open up only when things do not go your way... be open to communicate your daily life feelings (simple things like you might like if he holds your hand while crossing a road, and it in no way means you can't manage to cross it alone!).
Six, the good habits you both build together, the happy routine job that you both take up together, will make things nice however hectic the day. For example, you can make it a routine to apply paste on each-other's brushes first thing in the morning. Just the gesture can make both of you feel nice about the bonding. :-)
Seven, try to be nice partners for each-other. Find out what your likes/dislikes are. What does he look for in a partner? What do you look for in a partner to be open and loving towards him? Discuss about your feelings and how far you both can trust each-other, knowing the fact that it is an arranged marriage. Make your husband know you trust him and you want to know the nitty-gritty details about his office etc just to feel you both are partners in everything and not because you feel insecure. Most of the men, do not discuss office things at home….for various reasons. Some feel, it’s got nothing of interest for wife…especially if it’s a different culture at office……Please speak to your hubby lovingly. Don’t give him an essay of what you like, how you want him to be….just when he behaves in a way that makes you unhappy, let him know that you are unhappy. That doesn’t mean you stop eating, throw tantrums, keep sulking. Speak. And not rudely, be polite. Your anger should not be directed towards him but the behavior which makes you feel bad. Hope you understand.
Eight, please do not expect your husband to be like you. Don’t expect him to behave the way you do. Why should he? After all, he is a different person, right? In a way, we play our parts.
Nine, being romantic and doing things which create/highlight that particular feeling is a great beginning for a relationship. If you fear that he feels you are not so close to him, make him feel close to you. Show your affection towards him. Let him know you would be happy when he shows affection too… At times, there may be certain things you wish to talk to him openly about….but you may at the same time be holding on. It cud be that you don’t want to upset him. Then, if you think that what you wish to say, might upset him and if it’s trivial, just leave it, don’t say. But if you feel, it’s important for him to know, then speak to him. Don’t worry about how he takes it; just be there for him even when he gets upset (if you are taking the risk of telling him something that might upset him).
Ten, we all have a tendency to over-expect. But only with mutual understanding and the will to maintain love and peace between the partners, everything can be overcome. I can’t know your hubby’s nature, it’s for you to explore. You can’t change him, yes. But with your love and sweetness, you can still ask him to be sweet the way you like him to be….when he does something that makes you happy, tell him it makes you happy!! Not just whine each time he makes you unhappy. Give praise and honest view every time (now that doesn’t mean be cuttingly sharp when it can be avoided)…
Eleven, if you get bugged at home, in his absence, do things you think will be useful for both of you…or just read something of value…make it a habit to have some relaxation time for both of you everyday, let him know if he talks for ten-fifteen minutes before sleeping, you will feel good the entire day (next day)…..I am sure, when a person knows how he can keep his wife happy, he will try to do so. And also, you ask him how he would want you to be….that also will encourage him to be more open to you.
Twelve, don’t get hurt for small-small things (now this is easier said than done)…
Thirteen, anything tried with love and faith never fails. Just don’t think so much!!!! Just live!! And enjoy your special togetherness!!
Fourteen, you know, if we women can keep our tongues in control (trust me, we women can come up with the most devastating statements!!), it definitely will create a sweeter home (now this doesn’t go to say, we needn’t fight when wronged).
Fifteen, I keep reminding myself, what matters most is not how much time you spend together (that does matter, yes) but more importantly how you behave with each-other everyday….. and by God’s grace, we are also everyday learning how to manage things well (even issues we might slightly differ on)….without creating a racquet for it…..
Sixteen, life offers lots of opportunities to create fresh wounds and also, the methods to overcome those will differ each time. Not every time the other person can forgive as soon as you ask sorry. And Not every time you need to ask sorry, just a sweet smile and sentences like, “yes, I understand, I made a mistake, will improve on this” might help a great deal….besides, the willingness to change if need arises…for mutual happiness.
Seventeen, you must think things from his perspective also.
Eighteen, and nice if you realize, how small words can create profound wounds….so, be careful at all times. We all get angry, but you know, after a while, anger by itself fades out and then we might be left repenting what we said or did. So, always pray when angry. That really helps!!
Nineteen, each couple has their own trials and their own means of setting the rhythm of their lives… both must be quick at dissolving the differences. Small-small things affect every couple.
Twenty, in marriage, it's best not to wait for other person to come and apologize, even if one may think other was wrong! Don’t both want the love back? So why shouldn’t either be first to break ice? All this and much more…same way, there mite be times when wife is wrong and hubby waits for her to realize…if she realizes soon and is back to normal herself great….or she can always approach hubby…or vice versa..
Twenty-one, growing up has lots to do with changing and most of us don’t like to change. We think, why should we? Sometimes, changing ourselves little makes life much better…
Twenty-two, about you feeling emotionally down, now and then…well, that’s going to be part and parcel of first year of anyone’s marriage!! Trust me, I used to get terribly moody too and for no fault of his!!!! Believe me, it comes with hormonal changes and lots more ;-)
Twenty-three, please understand how much you love your hubby or he loves you, you both may still behave indifferent at times. It happens. Just like that. Without any reason. You know, we women attach lots of emotional drama to all our feelings, men are not like that. For them, simpler the life, the better it is. For us, until we find out reasons for each casual smile, each wink, each grin, each angry expression, each fluttering emotion….we are not satisfied!!! Read this. I used to make lot of long faces too and guess what? When I used to be upset for some silly thing, making a big long face over it, he would come and tell me something like, “already you have such a thin long face…you look horrible when you get angry”. I would feel like crying thinking that he is so heartless to say such a thing when I am so emotional…..but you know what? I learnt soon that he likes to irritate me when I am angry because he finds it too much to come and make me feel better (by begging me or asking me sorry-sorry especially when I am just moody) for small silly things. And, I have also understood, if he knows its something important and I am feeling sad/bad about it, he would be the first one to come running to make me feel nice.
Twenty-four, it is with experience that we all learn the true caring nature of the husband! Please do not fret easily, give you and him more chances to share more smiles. Please do not think he does not care, he does, maybe he can’t show it off very often. Especially, when we can be silly enough to take small things to heart, head, analyzing and fuming over them!!
Twenty-five, ensure that you remain happy and keep him happy. Don’t give importance to all things, only to those that are really important. We need to be able to differentiate. We take all things to heart. That’s not required. If your hubby loves you, enjoy that feeling. Don't worry about it!! When you feel much more secured about your mutual understanding, you will not worry so much.
Twenty-six, we can’t become emotionally strong like men, but of course, we can get our own emotional control higher. We can not stop feeling; we can learn to control and channelize the same.
Also, want to tell you, please don’t think all that I have mentioned above is the ultimate truth….you need to experience and grow on your own….and I am sure, though we are equally sentimental women, with time, you will also learn how best to tackle things which seem so out of order at times…..there’s lots to come with each passing day….
Marriage is not who is right, who is wrong but how to set wrongs right and how to be happy together. It doesn’t matter who needs to improve (half the times its both, men talk less about their improvements and women talk too much!!).
Just take care, I wish you enjoy the period that you are having now, after a year all trials now will seem like trifles …..
I guess, that’s enough for your entire first year of marriage. :-) Keep smiling and take one day at a time.
Regards,
Me.
Dear S,
This is going to be a Big Mail. I'll try to put all that I have felt, learnt in my marriage to help you feel more secured, more confident that you can handle it all well. :-)
One, I wish to share something with you. Inspite of it being an awaited relationship, we also faced some trials in the early days of my marriage. Believe me, even in love marriages, one does come across small-small things… after all, married life itself has lots to teach and it’s a new experience for every individual.
I was not good at time-management…I have been quite slow irrespective of the fact that we had to be in office on time… After more than one year of togetherness, I have learnt a lot, as a wife, as a partner and biggest learning is….there is lots to learn each day and yes, I have consciously improved on points I had to get better at.
So, just in case, you come across small-small dissatisfactions/trials in your daily life, please remember and focus on the fact that marriage is a lovely relationship and its worth doing all you can for maintaining happiness / balance and love in the same. You may face some petty differences, which when occur seem biggest things!!! But are actually not, if you look at them objectively. Be prepared to make your home a nice place to be – atleast for the bonds that matter.
Two, take good care of yourself and your hubby, take time out for yourself and him, don’t be too demanding, put forth your view with love …… and life would be not just easy, but also enjoyable.
As a friend, I pray you have a life-long loving relationship with your partner (that way life would never feel overpowering…it would just be nice to live).
Three, I request, whatever your trials, please do not discuss it with anyone who can’t help, except someone whom you can trust to advise well and still be quiet about it. It not only can give a bad impression about your hubby (which deep inside we women don’t like to) but also about in the ways you are ruining your relationship.
Four, I want you to understand that for almost a year now, you both will be in the phase of getting to know each-other. Your understanding phase also starts the day you marry… and yes, please note, we all are not perfect. It is good to strive for perfection in ourselves and others, but please set realistic expectations, if at all you set any.
Five, it becomes your responsibility to communicate and convey your feelings to each-other. This is most important when something troubles you but as a Golden Rule, if you are comfortable communicating without hurting, your marriage will go a long way. Believe me, that’s half the trouble. We women like to believe, the men will understand hints or unspoken feelings. Trust me, how much ever a man might love you, if at all there is anything that makes you unhappy, until you convey it to him, he might not be even aware!! So, don't wait to open up only when things do not go your way... be open to communicate your daily life feelings (simple things like you might like if he holds your hand while crossing a road, and it in no way means you can't manage to cross it alone!).
Six, the good habits you both build together, the happy routine job that you both take up together, will make things nice however hectic the day. For example, you can make it a routine to apply paste on each-other's brushes first thing in the morning. Just the gesture can make both of you feel nice about the bonding. :-)
Seven, try to be nice partners for each-other. Find out what your likes/dislikes are. What does he look for in a partner? What do you look for in a partner to be open and loving towards him? Discuss about your feelings and how far you both can trust each-other, knowing the fact that it is an arranged marriage. Make your husband know you trust him and you want to know the nitty-gritty details about his office etc just to feel you both are partners in everything and not because you feel insecure. Most of the men, do not discuss office things at home….for various reasons. Some feel, it’s got nothing of interest for wife…especially if it’s a different culture at office……Please speak to your hubby lovingly. Don’t give him an essay of what you like, how you want him to be….just when he behaves in a way that makes you unhappy, let him know that you are unhappy. That doesn’t mean you stop eating, throw tantrums, keep sulking. Speak. And not rudely, be polite. Your anger should not be directed towards him but the behavior which makes you feel bad. Hope you understand.
Eight, please do not expect your husband to be like you. Don’t expect him to behave the way you do. Why should he? After all, he is a different person, right? In a way, we play our parts.
Nine, being romantic and doing things which create/highlight that particular feeling is a great beginning for a relationship. If you fear that he feels you are not so close to him, make him feel close to you. Show your affection towards him. Let him know you would be happy when he shows affection too… At times, there may be certain things you wish to talk to him openly about….but you may at the same time be holding on. It cud be that you don’t want to upset him. Then, if you think that what you wish to say, might upset him and if it’s trivial, just leave it, don’t say. But if you feel, it’s important for him to know, then speak to him. Don’t worry about how he takes it; just be there for him even when he gets upset (if you are taking the risk of telling him something that might upset him).
Ten, we all have a tendency to over-expect. But only with mutual understanding and the will to maintain love and peace between the partners, everything can be overcome. I can’t know your hubby’s nature, it’s for you to explore. You can’t change him, yes. But with your love and sweetness, you can still ask him to be sweet the way you like him to be….when he does something that makes you happy, tell him it makes you happy!! Not just whine each time he makes you unhappy. Give praise and honest view every time (now that doesn’t mean be cuttingly sharp when it can be avoided)…
Eleven, if you get bugged at home, in his absence, do things you think will be useful for both of you…or just read something of value…make it a habit to have some relaxation time for both of you everyday, let him know if he talks for ten-fifteen minutes before sleeping, you will feel good the entire day (next day)…..I am sure, when a person knows how he can keep his wife happy, he will try to do so. And also, you ask him how he would want you to be….that also will encourage him to be more open to you.
Twelve, don’t get hurt for small-small things (now this is easier said than done)…
Thirteen, anything tried with love and faith never fails. Just don’t think so much!!!! Just live!! And enjoy your special togetherness!!
Fourteen, you know, if we women can keep our tongues in control (trust me, we women can come up with the most devastating statements!!), it definitely will create a sweeter home (now this doesn’t go to say, we needn’t fight when wronged).
Fifteen, I keep reminding myself, what matters most is not how much time you spend together (that does matter, yes) but more importantly how you behave with each-other everyday….. and by God’s grace, we are also everyday learning how to manage things well (even issues we might slightly differ on)….without creating a racquet for it…..
Sixteen, life offers lots of opportunities to create fresh wounds and also, the methods to overcome those will differ each time. Not every time the other person can forgive as soon as you ask sorry. And Not every time you need to ask sorry, just a sweet smile and sentences like, “yes, I understand, I made a mistake, will improve on this” might help a great deal….besides, the willingness to change if need arises…for mutual happiness.
Seventeen, you must think things from his perspective also.
Eighteen, and nice if you realize, how small words can create profound wounds….so, be careful at all times. We all get angry, but you know, after a while, anger by itself fades out and then we might be left repenting what we said or did. So, always pray when angry. That really helps!!
Nineteen, each couple has their own trials and their own means of setting the rhythm of their lives… both must be quick at dissolving the differences. Small-small things affect every couple.
Twenty, in marriage, it's best not to wait for other person to come and apologize, even if one may think other was wrong! Don’t both want the love back? So why shouldn’t either be first to break ice? All this and much more…same way, there mite be times when wife is wrong and hubby waits for her to realize…if she realizes soon and is back to normal herself great….or she can always approach hubby…or vice versa..
Twenty-one, growing up has lots to do with changing and most of us don’t like to change. We think, why should we? Sometimes, changing ourselves little makes life much better…
Twenty-two, about you feeling emotionally down, now and then…well, that’s going to be part and parcel of first year of anyone’s marriage!! Trust me, I used to get terribly moody too and for no fault of his!!!! Believe me, it comes with hormonal changes and lots more ;-)
Twenty-three, please understand how much you love your hubby or he loves you, you both may still behave indifferent at times. It happens. Just like that. Without any reason. You know, we women attach lots of emotional drama to all our feelings, men are not like that. For them, simpler the life, the better it is. For us, until we find out reasons for each casual smile, each wink, each grin, each angry expression, each fluttering emotion….we are not satisfied!!! Read this. I used to make lot of long faces too and guess what? When I used to be upset for some silly thing, making a big long face over it, he would come and tell me something like, “already you have such a thin long face…you look horrible when you get angry”. I would feel like crying thinking that he is so heartless to say such a thing when I am so emotional…..but you know what? I learnt soon that he likes to irritate me when I am angry because he finds it too much to come and make me feel better (by begging me or asking me sorry-sorry especially when I am just moody) for small silly things. And, I have also understood, if he knows its something important and I am feeling sad/bad about it, he would be the first one to come running to make me feel nice.
Twenty-four, it is with experience that we all learn the true caring nature of the husband! Please do not fret easily, give you and him more chances to share more smiles. Please do not think he does not care, he does, maybe he can’t show it off very often. Especially, when we can be silly enough to take small things to heart, head, analyzing and fuming over them!!
Twenty-five, ensure that you remain happy and keep him happy. Don’t give importance to all things, only to those that are really important. We need to be able to differentiate. We take all things to heart. That’s not required. If your hubby loves you, enjoy that feeling. Don't worry about it!! When you feel much more secured about your mutual understanding, you will not worry so much.
Twenty-six, we can’t become emotionally strong like men, but of course, we can get our own emotional control higher. We can not stop feeling; we can learn to control and channelize the same.
Also, want to tell you, please don’t think all that I have mentioned above is the ultimate truth….you need to experience and grow on your own….and I am sure, though we are equally sentimental women, with time, you will also learn how best to tackle things which seem so out of order at times…..there’s lots to come with each passing day….
Marriage is not who is right, who is wrong but how to set wrongs right and how to be happy together. It doesn’t matter who needs to improve (half the times its both, men talk less about their improvements and women talk too much!!).
Just take care, I wish you enjoy the period that you are having now, after a year all trials now will seem like trifles …..
I guess, that’s enough for your entire first year of marriage. :-) Keep smiling and take one day at a time.
Regards,
Me.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
First Homework
Yesterday was the first time my son came home with some Home Work. He had half a page each in Number Work and Alphabet. It was a different experience altogether ---- to hold his tiny palms in my hands, while he grips the pencil, trying to form the letter "c" and number "1" on the dotted lines. :-))
For C, I was trying to amuse him saying, 'make the head first, then the stomach"...(small letter c). He turns and looks at me and says, "it is C now". I wanted to share the same fun with hubby so was thinking if the little one would complete the whole thing at one go. I was wrong. Who can capture the interest of a littul one for longer than 5 mins at a stretch? :-) My mum failed too!
My son says, after forming letters in just two rows, "Mumma, sahil tiuhred (tired). My fingers paining." I was concerned but he puts my fears at rest when he jumps at his mamu and says, "Let's go shopping."
Hubby had his own experience trying to help Sahil do the home-work. No doubt he enjoyed it for a while, but eventually his patience gave in. At the end of it, hubby tells me - "we need a cook." As I look at him puzzled, he says, "So you can spend some more time with Sahil". :-))
For C, I was trying to amuse him saying, 'make the head first, then the stomach"...(small letter c). He turns and looks at me and says, "it is C now". I wanted to share the same fun with hubby so was thinking if the little one would complete the whole thing at one go. I was wrong. Who can capture the interest of a littul one for longer than 5 mins at a stretch? :-) My mum failed too!
My son says, after forming letters in just two rows, "Mumma, sahil tiuhred (tired). My fingers paining." I was concerned but he puts my fears at rest when he jumps at his mamu and says, "Let's go shopping."
Hubby had his own experience trying to help Sahil do the home-work. No doubt he enjoyed it for a while, but eventually his patience gave in. At the end of it, hubby tells me - "we need a cook." As I look at him puzzled, he says, "So you can spend some more time with Sahil". :-))
Men!!!!!
Guess what hubby cheekily told me during the weekend???
I was upset over something that he should not have said...esp. in the tone I don't like... and how
he makes up for the mistake! His apology begins, "See, I didn't mean to be rude. Now don't expect me to say 'Sorry'. As I begin to grin, he adds, "Next time I do something wrong, say something you don't like - You make me read your blog. Okay? Fine??"
I find myself rolling with laughter that my dearmost sounds as if having to read my blog is a Punishment! Wonder if he really meant it... ;-)
* He is excused temporarily (until my next post), even if he did mean it. :-))))))))))))))))))
I was upset over something that he should not have said...esp. in the tone I don't like... and how
he makes up for the mistake! His apology begins, "See, I didn't mean to be rude. Now don't expect me to say 'Sorry'. As I begin to grin, he adds, "Next time I do something wrong, say something you don't like - You make me read your blog. Okay? Fine??"
I find myself rolling with laughter that my dearmost sounds as if having to read my blog is a Punishment! Wonder if he really meant it... ;-)
* He is excused temporarily (until my next post), even if he did mean it. :-))))))))))))))))))
Once a Mom - Always a Mom
I read this somewhere long ago - "Once a Mother, always a Mother". That time, I was not even married and had just witnessed my sisters struggle with their kids...one after another.
Being a mom myself now, I agree with this statement whole-heartedly and infact, find some solace in the same too. Life is a Roller-coaster ride once the baby comes along, and there is no turning back from that point.
The kids are faster than the parents - in all generations! Somethings, like starting a bike that I didn't do until I was in high school, my 3 year old is already doing so as his RIGHT. (Even though under my watchful guidance) :-)
Being a mom myself now, I agree with this statement whole-heartedly and infact, find some solace in the same too. Life is a Roller-coaster ride once the baby comes along, and there is no turning back from that point.
The kids are faster than the parents - in all generations! Somethings, like starting a bike that I didn't do until I was in high school, my 3 year old is already doing so as his RIGHT. (Even though under my watchful guidance) :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)