Lost at the Bay
Flowers
The Wet Path...
Hotel - Full Shot
Flowers Again...
Monday, November 10, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Things I Know Were Wonderful
- The Hotel room/Heater/Iron/kitchen (a home away from home in a way. It was even called the "Homewood Suites"!!)
- Having a nice colleague from the same place (office) as a companion (whom I could relate to if I felt lost!)
- The longing to return where I belong (this was a nice feeling as it reminded me of all the love I treasure and yet take for granted sometimes!)
- Cooking rice in microwave, making papads as well!
- My struggle for heating water, when I could have just taken the same from the tap!
- The long walks in the evening (those were mind-refreshing as I always ended up thinking - this kind of day-ending relaxation is something we must bring back into our busy routine)
- The Bay near the Hotel. I just loved the water stretch, though we could not go boating...watching the water morn and eve was itself nice.
- Stay at Malar's place - This was even better than I had imagined! Felt just like family and forgot that we were ex-colleagues once upon a time! Not just Malar, her hubby Baks is a nice person to bond with and no wonder, they make as happy a couple as Jeshee and me. :-)) (yeah, am smiling!)
- Cooking with Malar, shopping with them and best of all, Playing Poker with them and their friends!! My first time, though I wished we had more time for that again! Moreover, I won but they say, Poker is a Beginner's Game. The Beginner always wins!! Hehee. :-) We were talking about betting 5$ each and I suggested we start with 5 Rupees. (We didn't eventually bet money....) When I won, I wished we had bet Dollars!
- Team Lunch and another Team Lunch as Offsite with just the Doc Team - Ted, Kavitha and Me. I just wish, we had a much longer time to just while away :-)))
- My Lunch Outing with Bill (my ex-manager). We chatted for almost 3 hours and it was very nice. :-))
- How could I forget this??? When I went out with my friends for Dinner, we witnessed a cute young fellow proposing to his fresh-looking girl friend and the entire episode was so lovely. The guy had got the "Will you marry me?" put into the Fortune Cookie that they had after dinner. :-)) The place was a cosy eat-out and it was a lovely experience to see the girl say, "yes, yes, yes!" slowly, hesitatingly and then so excitedly!! It was very obvious that both of them were happy to be starting out together out of the hotel. She showed around the ring he gifted her...and for a moment, I wished I could capture the scene. I didn't however. I was new to the place. We heard them say they will be married before a year. I only could wish them well... :-))
The Not-So-Good Times
- Missing family - (esp Saku) - my baby without whom I haven't slept a single night since last 3 years 4 months.
- Wanting to see/know/feel everything with both of them (J & S)
- Imagining how Saku would behave at everything I could see.
- Talking about Saku.
- Feeling bad/glad entering hotel, leaving hotel, entering malar's place, leaving malar's place.
- On way back, finding myself all alone in that BIG waiting hall!
- The long shopping - time and effort.
- Having to think for myself. :-)
- Having lot of time to think many past things... and sometimes, doing too much of thinking especially when it was time to go for an outing and I chose to stay back.
- My 7 a.m. Rush-around and being stuck in Office Lobby. Using Webex to send chat message about my location. :-( Attending the meeting (minus the audio) but waiting for someone to let me into the office.
- The Iron Stand tucked away in a small compartment and me feeling like Mrs Bean while taking it out and dreading to put it back in!!
My Thoughts on My Trip
When I looked at old people travelling with great discomfort, conversing in a language that is new to them - in a way - though they are knowledgeable.. I was glad, I would not have to make my first trip abroad with trepidation - years later - if my son goes and settles beyond boundaries. :-)
The thought that also came was, why is this trip so important in itself? For me and mine. First, this is not just my achievement (and when did we start counting achievements on the basis of such trips?) - it is the collective shower of all that I have collected so far. I imagined the reactions of my Grandma if she were with us physically and ditto for my dad as well. Chachiji would have told me, "Hooon tu aidi dooor jaana hai, thoday dina di gul hai. Tu fikar na kar, sab changa hoyega." (Now you are due for a long travel, just a matter of few days though. You don't worry, everything will be fine.) I am sure, my father would have proudly presented my trip as his own achievement. It is, that way, an achievement. Today, his children are equally capable to make a mark in their own way... that would have been a consolation to papa. I know, and so, I wish, he was here physically to ride on my blessings. :-(
Then comes my mother. Maybe because she is so much a part of me that I don't think twice that this means to her. I know, she is overjoyed. She feels she has played her part and all her hard-work (the toiling away day-in and day-out) has benefitted to educate us to be able to go beyond the boundaries. :-)) Yes mom. You are not the only one who thinks that way.
Okay, so, the family would have been happy with my good-luck. What about the family I have created and bonded with last few years? My Inlaws - they have been preparing themselves and me to be able to take the whole thing in my stride. They worry, they fear, they console and they raise my confidence time and again.
They understand (my mother-in-law and my mother) how difficult it is emotionally for me to leave sahil behind, though only for a few days. They can relate to the feelings only as a mother can. They know, without me saying it that every single day, I have had moments of pain when I have longed to hold my little son. I too know, the joy of holding him close, would also remain only as long as little he remains. The time is precious and the moments lost pain. Inspite of this, I went ahead and explored, what is there for all of us to gain? I surprised myself again, and again. I missed my son sometimes more than I wanted to, however, I was able to regain my composure and carry on with all that needed to be done. Moreover, I found time and reasons to smile and be happy. :-)) Overall, I lived a different life for ten days. Funny, isn't it?...
The most important one, no, two... One my hubby and two my son. Both of them adjusted with each-other and with my absence so well, that I feel nice knowing that I can count on my hubby to take care of his lovingly; without making it an obligation on me!
Professionally, I was more than satisfied. First came the Lunch Outing with my ex-manager - Bill (William Jackson). It was the very first time I met him and it didn't feel like that. :-)) That's because of the way he makes one feel comfortable. Sad, but the truth is, while he was talking of his children, his oldest daughter being older to me...I could almost hear my dad in his worries. :-( But yeah, we discussed so many other things and we thought may be we would meet again before I came back. Somehow, I didn't even find time to call him again, while I was there. However, I have mailed him now that I am back and settled.
Then, there were my team mates. All of them whom I met for the first time. I can say, they were nice with us and the meetings were good too. Ted especially was very sweet throughout our trip. He had even called to ask if we wanted him to pick us up on Sunday for lunch. I had to refuse as I was meeting Bill then. But yeah, the gesture had made us feel nice. :-) Another thing that greatly amused me was Richard telling us about his "Dance Tough Time" when he had visited India. It seems he told himself to imagine he was exercising! :-))
Strawberry Yoghurt - I remember putting it across somewhere earlier in my blog, that I "thought" I could never like the "Strawberry" flavour. I proved myself wrong on this trip. :-) I have been pleasantly surprised to note that I can eat even the strawberry if I savour the taste beyond the tip of my tongue! It may sound silly but the fact is, the thought of flavoured yoghurt would earlier make me go yucky in my stomach. As a kid, I could never understand how my sisters enjoyed the "sugary curds"...but, looks like, after having enjoyed "strawberry yoghurt", I have outgrown the 'taste restriction' as well.
Fork and knife - Yeah, it may make the reader think I was a villager once upon a time! :-)) The fact is, though I know the right way of using the fork and knife; it doesn't come as second nature. Maybe, its the lack of practice. Anyways, finally, I can pride myself upon achieving a reasonable degree of comfort with this as well. I can pierce almost anything with a plastic knife too! :-)
Jet Airways - Am smiling as I write this. It was "Jet Airways" years ago - whose "Cabin Crew" Interview I failed. It amuses me to recall what I had told my father about the interview. I had told my parents - "There were girls with short skirts and long slits and there was me - long skirt and short slit. Obviously, I was not the right choice for the style icons!" Way back, thats one way cabin crew was looked at. Of course, it didn't take me too long to understand that the confidence I enacted way back wasn't half as I felt...during the interview. It was just "trying something" for me then...
Yeah, what I want to put down is - the flights were good, cabin crew was also good. :-) (You think they might offer me some free flights!?!) By the way, I did 3 Feedback forms throughout the journey and one of those was really detailed (as that was the only one where I didn't have to select one of the four options and I could write what I wanted to.)
Music and Movies - Had fun listening to the songs that we enjoy back at home. (Tum Se Hi/Pehli nazar...) and watched Jodha Akbar/Taaray Zameen Par during my flights.
Seeing an American dressed in a typical as an Indian - In an Indian Outfit (Rajasthani more likely) - I was thinking about wearing my "Journalist" hat and interviewing her. What I managed to do was, almost hear her talk about her life to another lady. Looks like her son is growing up in India/ she makes frequent trips / hopes to settle in India some day, when she can probably bear up the heat months!
Found another lady with a black mangalsutra, dressed in a western attire, acknowledging and binding in similarity with her. I could relate to them as well. Its something different when you step out of the boundaries and bind yourself with something else altogether. Being foreigners, married to Indian men, both these women were relating to each other on more than one ground. :-)
The thought that also came was, why is this trip so important in itself? For me and mine. First, this is not just my achievement (and when did we start counting achievements on the basis of such trips?) - it is the collective shower of all that I have collected so far. I imagined the reactions of my Grandma if she were with us physically and ditto for my dad as well. Chachiji would have told me, "Hooon tu aidi dooor jaana hai, thoday dina di gul hai. Tu fikar na kar, sab changa hoyega." (Now you are due for a long travel, just a matter of few days though. You don't worry, everything will be fine.) I am sure, my father would have proudly presented my trip as his own achievement. It is, that way, an achievement. Today, his children are equally capable to make a mark in their own way... that would have been a consolation to papa. I know, and so, I wish, he was here physically to ride on my blessings. :-(
Then comes my mother. Maybe because she is so much a part of me that I don't think twice that this means to her. I know, she is overjoyed. She feels she has played her part and all her hard-work (the toiling away day-in and day-out) has benefitted to educate us to be able to go beyond the boundaries. :-)) Yes mom. You are not the only one who thinks that way.
Okay, so, the family would have been happy with my good-luck. What about the family I have created and bonded with last few years? My Inlaws - they have been preparing themselves and me to be able to take the whole thing in my stride. They worry, they fear, they console and they raise my confidence time and again.
They understand (my mother-in-law and my mother) how difficult it is emotionally for me to leave sahil behind, though only for a few days. They can relate to the feelings only as a mother can. They know, without me saying it that every single day, I have had moments of pain when I have longed to hold my little son. I too know, the joy of holding him close, would also remain only as long as little he remains. The time is precious and the moments lost pain. Inspite of this, I went ahead and explored, what is there for all of us to gain? I surprised myself again, and again. I missed my son sometimes more than I wanted to, however, I was able to regain my composure and carry on with all that needed to be done. Moreover, I found time and reasons to smile and be happy. :-)) Overall, I lived a different life for ten days. Funny, isn't it?...
The most important one, no, two... One my hubby and two my son. Both of them adjusted with each-other and with my absence so well, that I feel nice knowing that I can count on my hubby to take care of his lovingly; without making it an obligation on me!
Professionally, I was more than satisfied. First came the Lunch Outing with my ex-manager - Bill (William Jackson). It was the very first time I met him and it didn't feel like that. :-)) That's because of the way he makes one feel comfortable. Sad, but the truth is, while he was talking of his children, his oldest daughter being older to me...I could almost hear my dad in his worries. :-( But yeah, we discussed so many other things and we thought may be we would meet again before I came back. Somehow, I didn't even find time to call him again, while I was there. However, I have mailed him now that I am back and settled.
Then, there were my team mates. All of them whom I met for the first time. I can say, they were nice with us and the meetings were good too. Ted especially was very sweet throughout our trip. He had even called to ask if we wanted him to pick us up on Sunday for lunch. I had to refuse as I was meeting Bill then. But yeah, the gesture had made us feel nice. :-) Another thing that greatly amused me was Richard telling us about his "Dance Tough Time" when he had visited India. It seems he told himself to imagine he was exercising! :-))
Strawberry Yoghurt - I remember putting it across somewhere earlier in my blog, that I "thought" I could never like the "Strawberry" flavour. I proved myself wrong on this trip. :-) I have been pleasantly surprised to note that I can eat even the strawberry if I savour the taste beyond the tip of my tongue! It may sound silly but the fact is, the thought of flavoured yoghurt would earlier make me go yucky in my stomach. As a kid, I could never understand how my sisters enjoyed the "sugary curds"...but, looks like, after having enjoyed "strawberry yoghurt", I have outgrown the 'taste restriction' as well.
Fork and knife - Yeah, it may make the reader think I was a villager once upon a time! :-)) The fact is, though I know the right way of using the fork and knife; it doesn't come as second nature. Maybe, its the lack of practice. Anyways, finally, I can pride myself upon achieving a reasonable degree of comfort with this as well. I can pierce almost anything with a plastic knife too! :-)
Jet Airways - Am smiling as I write this. It was "Jet Airways" years ago - whose "Cabin Crew" Interview I failed. It amuses me to recall what I had told my father about the interview. I had told my parents - "There were girls with short skirts and long slits and there was me - long skirt and short slit. Obviously, I was not the right choice for the style icons!" Way back, thats one way cabin crew was looked at. Of course, it didn't take me too long to understand that the confidence I enacted way back wasn't half as I felt...during the interview. It was just "trying something" for me then...
Yeah, what I want to put down is - the flights were good, cabin crew was also good. :-) (You think they might offer me some free flights!?!) By the way, I did 3 Feedback forms throughout the journey and one of those was really detailed (as that was the only one where I didn't have to select one of the four options and I could write what I wanted to.)
Music and Movies - Had fun listening to the songs that we enjoy back at home. (Tum Se Hi/Pehli nazar...) and watched Jodha Akbar/Taaray Zameen Par during my flights.
Seeing an American dressed in a typical as an Indian - In an Indian Outfit (Rajasthani more likely) - I was thinking about wearing my "Journalist" hat and interviewing her. What I managed to do was, almost hear her talk about her life to another lady. Looks like her son is growing up in India/ she makes frequent trips / hopes to settle in India some day, when she can probably bear up the heat months!
Found another lady with a black mangalsutra, dressed in a western attire, acknowledging and binding in similarity with her. I could relate to them as well. Its something different when you step out of the boundaries and bind yourself with something else altogether. Being foreigners, married to Indian men, both these women were relating to each other on more than one ground. :-)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My Trip-related Scribbles
18-Oct-08
First time in 3 plus years,
First time in Saku's lifetime...
My small boy has grown
as my First Flight has flown!
*****
Will I be thinking of you?
You Two - today...
are my only thoughts!
*****
Child for me,
Big Boy for dad.
Child for my mum, still -
am always missing my own dad.
*****
Clouds seem like Cotton Fluffs
From the plane's window.
*****
Hopes floating with clouds,
Reality seeping in.
I am what I am,
Because of my kith and kin!
*****
Times like these, when I am overjoyed;
There comes an underlying sadness.
I wish, so much was accomplished papa...
when you were besides, just here with us.
*****
I console myself as I see
the clouds passing around,
feel closer to you today...
than ever on the ground!!
*****
The mind wanders
to make surreal connections,
all at once -
with my own self!
and with the strangers,
searching for a common ground?
*****
26th Oct:
Going forward forgetting what is Ours,
here I see, someone trying
to keep the connection alive...
Life seems strange? It is.
*****
As I leave the homeyou have made yours,
I have the - "I am going to miss"
miserable feeling!!
*****
Haven't even been here too long
to know - "I am going sadly"...
is it to do with different time zones?
or some bonding entirely?
*****
So much to see
so much to understand,
each experience seems intriguing
to the barren mind,
in a new land.
First time in 3 plus years,
First time in Saku's lifetime...
My small boy has grown
as my First Flight has flown!
*****
Will I be thinking of you?
You Two - today...
are my only thoughts!
*****
Child for me,
Big Boy for dad.
Child for my mum, still -
am always missing my own dad.
*****
Clouds seem like Cotton Fluffs
From the plane's window.
*****
Hopes floating with clouds,
Reality seeping in.
I am what I am,
Because of my kith and kin!
*****
Times like these, when I am overjoyed;
There comes an underlying sadness.
I wish, so much was accomplished papa...
when you were besides, just here with us.
*****
I console myself as I see
the clouds passing around,
feel closer to you today...
than ever on the ground!!
*****
The mind wanders
to make surreal connections,
all at once -
with my own self!
and with the strangers,
searching for a common ground?
*****
26th Oct:
Going forward forgetting what is Ours,
here I see, someone trying
to keep the connection alive...
Life seems strange? It is.
*****
As I leave the homeyou have made yours,
I have the - "I am going to miss"
miserable feeling!!
*****
Haven't even been here too long
to know - "I am going sadly"...
is it to do with different time zones?
or some bonding entirely?
*****
So much to see
so much to understand,
each experience seems intriguing
to the barren mind,
in a new land.
Remembering Little Things About My Trip
The things I want to write in detail about...having made my Onsite Trip. :-)) This is just a list to fuel my memory, incase it fades........
- The Going away (How it was to leave my son)
- How the Little One has been in my absence
- Courtesy
- Courtesy on road - the unavoidable comparison
- My hotel (pics of my room) - (mrs bean and many other such thots)
- My breakfast, lunch and dinner
- My commute to office, the view from my onsite colleague's desk
- Being a mom - though away (imagining responses/reactions, feeling emotional now and then, keeping the balance until I saw him again!)
- The Homecoming
- Just being me - Thinking and Thinking
- The "unemployed hours"
- Walks in the evening
- The latest technological stuff and me! (microwave, dish-washer, stove, heater, iron, iPods!)
- On the way - journey (sbi aunty, explorations of the kiosk, vomity me!)
- Home Truths! (role-reversal learnings)
- The Take-Aways
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