Came across a beautiful poem that makes it crystal clear that even when you love your kids, it is perfectly alright to deny them some things. As parents, we do know what's for the best and still, there are times when we give in to the happy feeling that comes, when we let kids have their way.
This poem has a simple touchy feeling that allows 'forever-agreeing' parents to learn to 'dis-agree' and at the same time, comforts the parents who are forever watchful of their own parenting style, wondering if they are right in saying 'No' to their kids. Let me know what you think.
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Not so long ago, and not so far away
There was a little boy named Randy.
Now this little boy was a source of true joy,
To his Mom and Dad and family.
But Randy grew up in a curious way,
That some may consider best
For this little boy, unlike most little boys,
Received any and all requests.
He would want to do this, or ask to do that,
And his parents would never say "no";
They loved him so much and really believed
This was the perfect way to grow.
Things seemed to be fine for quite a long time,
And Randy's parents were proud
Then this little boy, who once was a joy,
Threw tantrums in front of a crowd.
His parents would try to quiet him down,
But he would just not be still
He did as he pleased, and no one would dare
To ever cross Randy's will.
They mumbled and stumbled for words to explain
Randy's shockingly rude displays
And all the worst tantrums seemed to be saved
For Christmas and holidays!
But then in the spring, ---- a wonderful thing,
An event , that opened their eyes
It happened in May, on a cool, rainy day
(Sometimes joy can be pain in disguise.)
Randy's friend came to play, and he stayed the whole day,
He and Jim had a wonderful time
When all of a sudden Jim got up to leave,
And started to say his "good byes".
It was getting near night, his friend Jim was polite
But he finally had to say,
"My dad said come home when it starts to get dark
So I'll have to be on my way.”
He left Randy there at the top of the stairs,
Then much to Jim's surprise;
He heard Randy crying, saw a few toys go flying
He just couldn't believe his eyes.
"Oh, let him go home!" Randy screamed all alone,
"I'll be sad and unhappy... who cares!"
Randy didn't know, that his dad was at home,
And heard the whole thing from downstairs.
His dad's heart was grieved, he just couldn't believe
Randy's awful behavior that day
He wanted to talk, so they went for a walk,
And discovered some things on the way.
Randy spoke first, "Jim's dad is the worst,
Who could have a daddy so mean!
I know if I said I wanted to stay,
You'd never make me have to leave!"
His dad then thought back on his own early years,
His father was tender, but tough;
And seemed to be able to balance the two—
Could it be that just love's not enough?
That's when it came clear, who was at fault here,
And Randy was not to blame
As hard as it was to admit to himself
He didn't raise Randy the same.
He turned to his son and regretfully said,
"I've done an injustice to you
By letting you go, never telling you 'no'
But now I see what to do
I was brought up to mind my own dad,
And I knew he loved me so
But there were many times, in love, He had to tell me 'no'!
Now there were tears, but through the years
A bond between us grew;
I'd like to think that someday
You'll say the same of me and you!
I love you so much, but love needs to be tough,
And I should be teaching you how
To handle yourself when faced with a 'no'
Do you think we could start over now?"
Randy thought long on all that was said,
And one thing he did know for sure;
That someday he wanted to be like his dad
He smiled and said, "Yes, Sir".
As they walked home, on that memorable night,
A father and son at their best;
They talked of the lessons of love in a "No",
That you'll never receive in a "Yes".
Copyright © 2004 by Jeannie Veltz
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