Angels Awaited...

My entry for the "Mother's Day Blog Contest" ...

What has becoming a mother done to me? How exciting it felt, when I was going to be a mother? How incredible it was to hear the heartbeat of my baby within me, for the first time? How joyful were those months while we and my body prepared to bring home the baby? How touching it was to touch tenderly the little new-born? What a roller-coaster ride it has been ever since? How does it feel, to be a mother? How difficult and emotional it is, to become a mother? How different it is, to feel as a mother all the time? All these questions can make so many of us write pages and pages on our own individual feelings and also, the collective emotions. Against all this, a sad recent thought, lingers on these days. Where are we heading? How tough it is becoming, to become a mother?

It’s only on becoming a mother though; several new feelings have come to the fore. Besides becoming a mother itself being an overwhelming experience, being a mother has taught me several things already and the experience seems forever enriching. The tender feelings I feel as a mother, while being precarious for my child, have powered my thoughts on several other mothers of different generations.

I am able to feel much more strongly than ever before, about the mothers who were and are even now, never offered a choice. Whether it was about starting a family, about keeping the numbers low or even about being able to add years between the kids. Don’t we all know how strong the societal pressures have been for generations, to beget a son? Just like an heir to a throne!

In all we value about being mothers, there are so many moments of realization. Doesn’t it create an unknown bonding when we come across someone who is on her way to becoming a mother? Women looking slightly pot-bellied have a charm of their own. We, who have successfully crossed the bridge and moved into motherhood, feel happy for such on-the-way ones. A smile between women, says it all.

Sadly, just around the corner are few other women, who are just waiting. Waiting, in the hope that soon their tests would turn positive too. They too, would have the joy of feeling a life blossoming within and hold one of their own, close to their hearts. They are the dream mothers - women, who are waiting to be entrusted with the promise of bringing a life into the world. My heart goes out to all such women, who long to hold a baby of their own.

In today's fast life, where almost everything is becoming 'planned', God seems to have chosen to remind us mortals that - we are not in control of everything! Yes, a majority of us can and do 'Plan' - to marry, to opt for a career and eventually, start a family. Somehow, somewhere along the plans, someone seems to have spilt some oil on the floor. For some of us, the natural act of childbearing seems to be becoming fruitless.

To a large extent, the essence of motherhood starts with the acknowledgement of a life blossoming within. A decade or so ago, it would seem troublesome if one out of twenty married women neighbors didn't bear a child within the first two years. Times have changed for the worse. It is becoming more and more painful and common to witness the other side getting crowded. With late marriages, successful careers, unhealthy eating habits, intentional waiting period coupled with unexplainable reasons - some of the women seem to be paying the price too high already.

Most touchy are the cases where the cause of infertility isn't clear and the wait seems to be endless. How can you cure something when you don't even know why and what of the situation? How long can you wait patiently, maintain your temperament, in the hope that maybe, next cycle, results would turn positive?

Trust me, most of these are very strong women and are plunging headlong to set right the wrongs.

I am aware of some of my friends trying to wade through this torture. Few have given up their careers, in the hope that treatment and low-pressure will work soon. Others are trying to absorb the medical analysis/treatment into their routine as if it’s just another slice of life... I see some others, tired of the long wait and now looking at adoptions as the last resort. Some of us may be quick to say, "Well, maybe, adoption is the way to go." But having had the joy of carrying my little one within me and having brought him into this world, I do feel compassionate towards their natural loss.

Of course, there is no stopping to 'feeling like a mother', even if your child is not yours biologically. So long as there is love in the heart, warmth in the hug and care in the bonding; many women will find kids to love. This mother's day, being a mother, I am hoping for a miracle in their lives and join my hands to pray for them and theirs-to-be.