Legalising Surrogacy

I read through an article the other day about a proposal to legalize Surrogacy. Earlier, I have read posts of my friends; some of who equate surrogacy to a crime, and others who think that the gift of a baby is worth the emotional turbulence.

I find myself incapable of taking a stand in this regard. As a mother, I know the joy and love that holding a baby in the womb brings. That's the reason why I can't imagine the pain a woman would bear, after bearing a baby and then having to give it away. Irrespective of the conditions attached.

Yeah, one may argue, if she is emotionally weak, let her not go in for something like this. This is definitely not the job for the faint-hearted. But, hey, when did 'bearing a kid' become a job? Exactly. It hasn't been too long that the wombs have started to be rented out. For all the emotional hurdles a girl learns to put up with, this might seem the toughest. Worse still, if it is the 'family pressure' that's going to make women rent out their wombs. Why else would anyone, otherwise?

It's very difficult to remove emotional attachments from the issue. Yes, at least for the 'surrogated baby' the woman would be 'truly cared for' during her pregnancy - and 'paid' to have had the courage to spend nine months and more fussing over the baby she would eventually give up. Of course, one woman's loss would be another woman's gain. In that regard, the baby-giving could be compared to a blessing.

In olden days, mothers might have lost their newborns to some or the other health complication, every now and then. Now, when the situation is slightly better, by forcing people to take sufficient care of the mom-to-be and the baby-to-be - we are providing options like 'bringing a life and giving up the same' for a 'price'.

From another perspective, when you lack a bond and you feel the loss - it is natural to search for options. Some may find adoption a better choice (it is, considering the fact that the 'child' is already born and needs a bond too). However, when the facility to 'bear your own' (at the expense of someone else) exists, and one can 'afford' the same, why not? Either way, it is an emotional decision to make. It is easy for anyone to argue this way or that - trying to 'be in the right'; but almost killing for someone standing at that juncture - hoping/wishing/praying.

The other day when I was thinking about this, somehow I was reminded that don't we accept a 'kidney-donor'? Do we look at them (the borrower and the donor) with disgust? Why then, this seems so much more painful? Because, I am a woman too? Because, I know a woman would need to kill herself emotionally before giving away the baby she has mothered? I don't know... [On thinking more about this, I realized, it could be because - we don't feel the kidney growing within us, giving us a sense of fulfillment.)

One thing is for sure. The policy, if it comes into force, would have clauses for:
1. Women's Health
2. Number of Children one can surrogate (legally)
3. Pre-natal and Post-natal care
4. Compensation (minimum legality)

We must not forget any anti-depression treatment that the women may need, not just for a year or two after the deal. The scars may never heal and there could be moments when women would feel the loss, even years after the baby's gone. Ask any old woman how many kids she has had. You will get an answer inclusive of the blue babies who didn't survive long. Such is motherhood.