Ups and Downs

Clock Ticking away
my mind is in a sway...
Do I just go away?
**********************
Pending tasks to be done
Tasks many but me just one!
Can do them only - one by one...
*********************
Freedom
Personal Space
Choices - do I have any?
**********************
Rough weather
Bloom or Wither?
Soar or Surrender?
**********************
The will to stand for myself
against all odds, whatsoever.
No more, no less.
***********************
One good thing.
I hear my murmur...
calling out to the forgotten God!
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Things a Mom tends to think...

1. When you look at a healthier looking kid of the same age, - "This kid must be older than mine!".
2. When you see colouring, drawing or block items - you are reminded of the time\effort you spend picking all that stuff from your floor (simultaneously trying to make your toddler join u in that task)!
3. When you see kids crossing the roads without looking even once - "I will ensure my kid watches his step!"

Little Things of Little Fellow

A friend was askin me today, when I update her with so many funny things my son does....why don't I add the same descriptions to my blog? So here go some of them...

31-Mar-08

---My mum fell down and Sahil in all his innocence comes running to me and says, "Naani fell down - Nicely". He is yet to understand Adjectives and their proper use!

26-Mar-08
--Sahil threw a ball out of the balcony. While returning home, after picking it up from two floors down, as his dad scolds him for having thrown it, the explanation comes pat: "Papa carrying Sahil know, Sahil throw ball because". Blaming the dad for having carried him up while he held the ball! How will we be rated as he grows?...

17-Mar-08

-- My son is very helpful. He brings the utensils back into the kitchen from the dining room, after dinner. While I am still busy in the kitchen, he smiles at me and waits for a minute for me to acknowledge his help with my "Thank you". While going out, he quietly switches the light off, with a naughty grin he mumbles "U r wellllcummm". I stand to wonder, why does he help me!

29-Feb-08

---Looking with lot of interest into the vessel containing 'Dal', Saku stared at the long, slit green chillies laying at the bottom of the vessel. Chillies were partly covered with Dal and guess what my son compares it to; after minutes of acute observation? "Cocodile"! (Crocodile) :-)

25-Feb-08

---My son got a Bat-Ball set from his creche after the "Race" the children had among themselves. I was told that my dear fellow was least bothered with all the 'hustle-bustle' of the 'race' and he cooly walked watching everyone (moving his head side-to-side) till the touch line, kept the small stone on the line and walked back! Obviously he came last. His version of the race? "Mummmaa, everyone runninh, Sahi alcho runninh, sahi touchin, keepi, walkin, comin back. Mumma, everyone laughin. Aarti Maam gave bat-ball".

---At Family Day recently, he gave a little girl his Orange Balloon and when the girl was happily playing with it all alone (ignoring my son), he tried pulling it back from her! She gave him one nice Push. Guess how he complains about it to amma (his Grandma) - "ammama, sahi gave my orange balloo to bad girl. Bad girl pushin sahi. Sahi fell down ammama. Thenn...ammamaa...sahi tell mumma, bad girl takin sahi balloo". We had to remind him to tell his grandma that he was pushed because he tried taking back what he had generously given!

21-Feb-08

---The other day my hubby was scolding Sahil and we were caught unawares with him showing his palm towards his dad and mumbling "Thupidh fellow" (Stupid fellow)!! Probably, he learnt it from one of the tired teachers at his Pre-school. I was both shocked and amused. :-)

---Sahil and his maamu (my bro) always get into an argument whether what Sahil is wearing is "Knicker" or "Pyjama"...my little fellow announces angrily each time - "Jamada (where did he learn that for Pyjama!!) nahin hai - niker hai". Sahil wins!

---Last night (20Feb08), hubby was trying to record an inspiring alarm for himself. Sahil came up with one, after seeing my hubby's trials. He said, "Papa, wake up, Coloring waiting U". :-)) This was purely his thought (as I was suggesting to hubby to record something about what U want to do when u wake up)...Probably, Sahil thinks Coloring is so important!

---One day when I thought I would give the good news to my son that I have made his "one time favourite" - 'idli'....I told him, "Saku, mumma nay aaj idllliiii banayi hai". He quietly turned towards me and asked me, "poori banayi nai?", making all my effort seem waste!

*This section would be regularly updated. :-)

My Attempts at Haiku\Short Poems ---- A Collection

12Oct07
Typing and Erasing...
Wondering....
Whats Worth Saving?
**************************************
10June07
Reminiscence.
Dreams of Yore
Again Lure!
**************************************
16May07
In heavy storm

engulfed mercilessly,

Chillness beckons me...

**************************************
15May07
Swans in pond

Rufflin beneath water

in tranquility?..

**************************************
30Dec04
Another new day,
mind racing in several ways...
joy exists, an it fakes!

**************************************

04June04
Just yesterday, I wrote a few words
about the recent loss...
could not continue for long.

**************************************
21May04

Colorful fiery imagery

suggests thundering rumble,

in wonder, I just fumble.

**************************************

20May04

Flowers and buds together

bloomed as well as closed tight...

shades of yellow bright.

**************************************

19May04

Glittering Brilliance

Flower blooms with another within...

The life goes on.

**************************************

18May04

All I am to see

is a pictureless cross sign,

I smile and I sigh!

**************************************

17May04

Deep orangish sunset

Initiates fresh morrow hope

At end of today...

**************************************

14May04

Shallow waters an Swan

feelings to let go n go on...

am retunin where i belong!

**************************************

11May04

Water gushing on

coming towards me in swing...

just like life's insecurities!

**************************************

07May04

awe inspiring me...
Thot captivating sight,

symbolizes thee!

**************************************
06May 04
Its one week today...
an' I am weeping within
Feel left out as it is...

**************************************

05May04

Take time to sigh

Breathe deeply when u smile...

Breath doesnt last.

**************************************

14Aug2000

What I saw yesterday?

a hazy moon,

shying away.

***
The distance seems too much:

when you are alone,

or totally non-observant.

***
The sky seemingly tranquil,

Stars shine brightly.

Sea hides behind clouds,

I hug the moment tightly.

***
I wonder at the sense of mankind.

Dog exhibits the same.

Digging the earth to hide his bone.

***
Clothes on the hangers

waiting to be worn,

Children walking naked in their want.

***

The joyous sea rushes

to meet me.

I jump in, leaving myself free!

***
Dusky brown-squirrel,

holding the nut,

her tiny palms.

***
A troublesome night.

Stillness in the sky.

I heard my mind cry,

in want of that stillness within.

***
A serene surrounding.

A calm sea, a few tress.

My imagination and I.

***
My cat staring pitifully at me.

With moist eyes,

beside her kitten's dead body.

***

A comfortable bench at the bus-stop.

A drunken man sleeping beneath.

Adjusting uncomfortably.

***
The smoothness of the kitten's fur.

The heart-rending mewing

piques my soul to bring home,

the alive new-born from the dustbin.

***

A beautiful sparrow, injuring her beak.

Hitting it on the iron bars...

longing for the sky.

***

A hermit in deep meditation

closing eyes to the transient world

Praying for Moksha.

***
I am happy.

I am not fortunate.

I chose to leave sorrow behind.

***
Why do we offer goodies to God?

We share our joys.

Hoping He'll share sorrows too!

*******************************************
16Aug2000

Pale-cream moon in the sky

Partly hidden by the leaves

Partly visible to the eye!

***

Deep orange scattering in the heaven.

So much calmness in his vast abode.

Why Turbulence in my small mind?

***

Longing heartily for something.

Reaching out to secure it.

Slips farther with my touch.

***

On a weary moonless night,

to quench my thirst for moon;

stars twinkle consolingly.

***

Relief for an old body

a comfortable non-screeching bed,

a noiseless walking stick,

a non-grumbling helping hand.

****************************************

Vagaries of Life

When the strong wind blows,
Dry leaves often quiver,
but the tree trunks hold
onto their roots and the ground
below, with all determination.

Our life is no different.
When the whirlwind of
sorrow surrounds us,
this is the time to test
whether we are to be withering leaves
Or we are the tree trunks
Holding onto our support,
ready to withstand
any lash from time.

Some or the other day
Our fall is due,
but why give in to the
minor waves of difficulty?

It is sure to pass off
As nothing has the power to,
stay fixed at one point
for a very long time.

Does happiness stay forever?
Definitely not.
Then why think that sorrow
is the end?
What about beyond?

Even in the vast ocean
Carrying abundant lives,
Ocean currents rise,
Tidal waves occur.

The Earth, which beholds
the entire life,
All the surviving beings;
suffers from Earthquakes,
bears volcanic Eruptions,
sees forest Fires and
is often hit by meteors.

Is it very calm in space?
Definitely not.
The whole cosmic is in motion
continuing a regular pattern
and still something unusual
keeps coming up.

The leaves do not fall only
because of the wind’s strength,
they wither because they feel
they are dry and weak;
Disheartened, don’t even try to
protect their own fall.
Whereas the tree trunks
feel themselves powerful,
wholeheartedly try to gain
the strength from Earth’s depth.

It is not that
the tree trunks don’t get uprooted,
they too meet the
fate of a leaf some day;
but what makes them superior
Is that, they fall after a struggle.


Joys, Sorrows, Tears, Laughter...
these are the Vagaries of life,
Hope is to be their constant partner
During the Tests of time.

Nice Links

Cuppy Cake

<http://audio.isg.si/audiox/?q=node/404>

The House of Hindi Poetry

<http://manaskriti.com/kaavyaalaya/>

Archies

<http://www.archiecomics.com/pops_shop/dailycomics/dailycomic.html>

Women - Articles

<http://www.meditationsforwomen.com/articles/>

100 Best of the Best Poems

<http://100-poems.com/poems/best/>

Chicken Soup for the Soul

<http://www.beliefnet.com/features/chickensoup.html>

Nice Poem for the Lost yet Loved Father

<http://100-poems.com/poems/best/0319006.htm>

Pebbles

The other day, I was wondering,
if life is what it seems;
over-powering and clairvoyant
yet, enveloped in dreams!

Fine sand slips through
within my toes, at the shore,
Life's givin its best,
why then, asking for more?

As some pebbles slide below
the sole of my feet,
Inspired by the depth of Ocean,
clarity and dreams meet!

Hold My Hand

Came across this beautiful piece....long ago. And everytime I read it, it feels nice...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared, so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

On Our New Home

New Dreams taking shape
on the grounds of sand,
mud would be strong walls
with the swish of a wand.....

So much of thought goes in,
so many hopes entangle the mind,
somewhere theres fear too...
yet, the will to own my ground!

Tomorrow may rain or shine,
Roar thunder or lightning strike...
Today, now, am busy moulding a shelter
for me and mine....

With a song in my heart
I beckon the promises
the thought of home brings along
engulfed in togetherness....

Mud would be raised
from dust to a home...
would it be my haven
when I am in dust form?

Thots on a Rainy Day

Precious time slips away
Without saying, what must be said...
Emotions topple as if in stampede
During the rigmarole of earning bread...

Watched a controversial movie
That struck some thinking chord
Is it so easy to get entangled?
Or so difficult to stay unaffected??

Its by sharing that love grows
Even by over-looking sometimes...
Its by pin-pointing that pain grows
even by staring in silence at times...

What is of greater value,
The love that binds
or the relationship that survives somewhere deep within...
what happens to untouched wounds
over a period of time
if all the time, overlooked?

When is the right time
to make time for bonds?
How long will the bond last
when not looked after?

How does any relation thrive?
Is it enough it exists?
Shudn't it be nurtured with togetherness,
borne with a pride?

Why does the mind go wavering...
In search of something that exists,
when to its existence
we turn a blind eye?

How much happiness one deserves,
who is to decide?

On Ur 2nd Bday

Joy always to behold my little one!
How long would 'Little' you remain?
becoming your own person
with each passing sun and rain.....

Watching you become - in your gestures
"Big and Strong" - waving that little arm of yours,
leads me to all those memories of your birth
entwined with motherly love and tears!

So many times earlier too
I wished I could pen down
all the feelings I feel
Because of you.....

I begin about you and I
About how deeply I have felt
when I first held you close...
about how sweetly your fingers
have curled around mine several times...

Somewhere down the line
the flow sweeps your dad along
And I stop to wonder
what a bond you two have also formed!

While we watch you run around
uncontrollably sometimes now,
I am bound to recall - how you were
not crawling... but sliding along...on the floor!

Everytime anything new that you speak
fills me with unbound happiness...
And everytime I am overwhelmed,
there's a small prayer that unknowingly
escapes my lips, for you, my dear one!

Would you remember how we have been
How we are taken in by your presence....
when time flies by and you would too,
would our memories work well
when we would have to let you go...
to create your own world, find your own happiness...

Its with love we are bound
my loved one...
why then the fear of loss
that may or may not come at all?

And as if you now remain needing me
as in early stages of your life...
You have grown and our little circle
has enlarged to take in your little steps
even if those lead you little far,
little beyond my arms.....

Theres been so much until now
so much more yet to come.....
as I wish for a happy childhood
for my sweet little son!

It takes my breath away
when with a cheek you refuse
to make me your own...
jus to surprise later
with a lovely hug
totally unasked for!

As you learn to say things,
we strive to teach all we can...
sometimes, its nice to hear you call
Jeshee - in place of dad!

Let me hold on my emotions
for other days...
let me not outpour
all in one go.....

You are and will always remain
My cherished One, our little son!

Music - On the Road

It surprises me to see, how easily people adopt new ways - sometimes even without analyzing where its leading them! For instance, the "supposed relaxation" that one achieves while listening to music - irrespective of doing so at a risk.

I wonder at the decision making ability of such fellow beings. Being on the move and being in a different world (by closing their ears and mind to others around them). Don't you think our decisions on the roads (Indian roads atleast) are also based on some of the sounds we hear around us as well? And what do we get by blocking off those sounds?

Its strange... these days, I see people walking on the road busy talking into their mobiles, with a non-bothered attitude even towards the traffic at times! Not jus this, but even people (here, mostly IT clan!) with music flowing into their ears, trying to cross the road, without even bothering to see Left or Right (leave alone looking twice)!

I wish, atleast those who read my blog, would stop and take a look at where we are heading - when we make certain changes to our lifestyle!

New Arena

New Day, fresh beginning...
Nothin' on the landscape for anyone to see

There's always so much more
than what is visible to the eye!

There is so much to explore.....
startin' then...why with a Sigh?

Where to begin and where to stop...
Leavin' to Mind's eye to decide!!!!!