Whispering Winds

Back after a year and half!

2012-01-19T11:29:00.000+05:30

Once again... coming back to writing about life... Plan to be regular hereafter. :) Lots to update!

Sahil's grown up and work has finally become what I always longed it to be...

Because KIDS's emotions really matter!

2010-07-10T21:24:00.000+05:30

I got this story as a forward few times. I loved the way it is written and more than that, it pictures so aptly how one must 'allow' himself to feel for others, especially kids. Read on, if you have some patience and excuse this post if you have read the story before.

*****

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman' s head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Review - "Over the Rainbow" Collection of Plays

2010-07-08T22:17:00.001+05:30

Yeah, this one is for me and my friends... and maybe the kids and parents of the kids who were a part of the "Over the Rainbow" collection of plays.

In 3 words - "It was AWESOME!"

As the same plays were showcased on all the three days (2/3/4 July 2010), I watched it all on all the days and still, just have one thing to say - It was worth watching. Not because my son was a part of "Noddy" but because it was a collection showcased by kids of all age-groups. It was delightful to watch cute "Noddies" (there were two 'Noddy' characters as the skit was a long one), Mr Sparks (Nikhil), Tessie Bear, Big Ears (Sahil) and of course, Sly (Neil) and Gobbo. Both the "Noddy" boys were cute little fellows, though Adam (the first Noddy) was such a roly-poly that one would fall in love with him by just watching him in Noddy's outfit.Let me put the snaps of "Noddy" characters here. I didn't get them all, but here it is...

Sahil - Backstage

Noddy

Noddy and Tessie Bear

Noddy - Waiting for a friend

Give it to me, Sly!

Noddy with Mr. Sparks!

Noddy and Big Ears - Video

The show started with a boy around 6/7 years old addressing the crowd. This opening was followed by a song from 'Ciara'. She sang it in a very soothing voice and set the mood for remaining silent happily. Then came 'Noddy and the Listening Game'.

This was played by kids only 5/6 years old but the way they carried themselves and the play, you would look twice to convince yourself. Nikhil was very cute as Mr Sparks when he mumbled his lines (he was the youngest of the lot, I guess); ending it with "Busy, Busy, Busy." It was fun to watch him go backwards to exit the stage, instead of going over to the other end. :)

When Noddy characters took over from one another, the first Noddy was to give second Noddy his cap and exit the stage. On the first two days, it was a faultless transition. On the last day, the cap was forgotten to be handed over. :( But you know, as we parents and relatives waited, wondering what would the second Noddy do (when Martha monkey walks upto him and makes sounds by touching the pom-pom of his cap)... the kids outsmarted us! Even though the second Noddy's cap was absent, Martha monkey enacted her part pretending the cap was very much there!! I truly didn't expect this finesse and was pleasantly surprised. The audience clapped as I am sure, they were as happy as I was that the kids didn't go bizarre.

The first day of the show, my dear Sahil slipped and feel just as he entered onto the stage. I was sorry and wondering if he would forget his lines due to the accident. He had forgotten his story once during Story-telling as he was pushed onto stage at his school. As I waited, my son picked himself up quickly and perfomed his part without any miss! Wasn't I excited, boy!

The fun was still to continue. As he went backstage after his role-play, forgetting that he is wearing the mike on his clothes, he announced to his teacher, "Ma'am, I just slipped and I fell." It was funny to hear the backstage dialogue while Noddy was going on the stage. :)

Tessie Bear, Martha Monkey, Goblins, Mr. Plod (and everyone else) played their roles with perfection. Of course there was a child-like curiosity as to when what would happen... but it was a different world altogether. Watching kids enact their lines was a treat.

After Noddy, it was time for "Oliver Twist".

.... To be continued.

OVER THE RAINBOW - By BOARDWALKERS THEATRE FOUNDATION

2010-07-01T14:17:00.001+05:30

The BOARDWALKERS THEATRE FOUNDATION presents ... "Over the Rainbow", an evening of enchanting musicals.

Featuring excerpts from "SOUND OF MUSIC", "CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY", "OLIVER TWIST" and "NODDY".

Museum Theatre, Egmore.
July 2nd/3rd and 4th.
7 p.m.

Tickets: Rs 100/-, 150/- and 200/- available at Landmark, Odyssey and Fruitshop.

P.S: Sahil plays a small role in "Noddy". :)

Getting Valuated!

2010-06-29T17:07:00.001+05:30

Recent Ones:

1. When I picked up my son from school and wanted to surprise him, I told him, "I have made 'Fried Rice' for you today." He surprised me (with his limiting thinking of my cooking talent) by asking me, "Ohhhhhh.... You know to make 'Fried Rice' mumma?" :(

2. The other day I was announcing to my husband that being a North-indian wife, I love to make 'Aloo Parathas' for him and our son. I realized that maybe I was being boastful when I said to my hubby, "Sahil and I love the aloo parathas with curd. Its only you who doesn't like it with curd." Our son was quick to respond, "Mumma, I also am not liking it so much. I am 'managing' what you are making me eat. Really."

I was shocked at the choice of words, the 'managing' and 'not liking'. :( Luckily, my sadness was short-lived as hubby agreed that the food wasn't that bad!

Legalising Surrogacy

2010-06-25T20:16:00.001+05:30

I read through an article the other day about a proposal to legalize Surrogacy. Earlier, I have read posts of my friends; some of who equate surrogacy to a crime, and others who think that the gift of a baby is worth the emotional turbulence.

I find myself incapable of taking a stand in this regard. As a mother, I know the joy and love that holding a baby in the womb brings. That's the reason why I can't imagine the pain a woman would bear, after bearing a baby and then having to give it away. Irrespective of the conditions attached.

Yeah, one may argue, if she is emotionally weak, let her not go in for something like this. This is definitely not the job for the faint-hearted. But, hey, when did 'bearing a kid' become a job? Exactly. It hasn't been too long that the wombs have started to be rented out. For all the emotional hurdles a girl learns to put up with, this might seem the toughest. Worse still, if it is the 'family pressure' that's going to make women rent out their wombs. Why else would anyone, otherwise?

It's very difficult to remove emotional attachments from the issue. Yes, at least for the 'surrogated baby' the woman would be 'truly cared for' during her pregnancy - and 'paid' to have had the courage to spend nine months and more fussing over the baby she would eventually give up. Of course, one woman's loss would be another woman's gain. In that regard, the baby-giving could be compared to a blessing.

In olden days, mothers might have lost their newborns to some or the other health complication, every now and then. Now, when the situation is slightly better, by forcing people to take sufficient care of the mom-to-be and the baby-to-be - we are providing options like 'bringing a life and giving up the same' for a 'price'.

From another perspective, when you lack a bond and you feel the loss - it is natural to search for options. Some may find adoption a better choice (it is, considering the fact that the 'child' is already born and needs a bond too). However, when the facility to 'bear your own' (at the expense of someone else) exists, and one can 'afford' the same, why not? Either way, it is an emotional decision to make. It is easy for anyone to argue this way or that - trying to 'be in the right'; but almost killing for someone standing at that juncture - hoping/wishing/praying.

The other day when I was thinking about this, somehow I was reminded that don't we accept a 'kidney-donor'? Do we look at them (the borrower and the donor) with disgust? Why then, this seems so much more painful? Because, I am a woman too? Because, I know a woman would need to kill herself emotionally before giving away the baby she has mothered? I don't know... [On thinking more about this, I realized, it could be because - we don't feel the kidney growing within us, giving us a sense of fulfillment.)

One thing is for sure. The policy, if it comes into force, would have clauses for:
1. Women's Health
2. Number of Children one can surrogate (legally)
3. Pre-natal and Post-natal care
4. Compensation (minimum legality)

We must not forget any anti-depression treatment that the women may need, not just for a year or two after the deal. The scars may never heal and there could be moments when women would feel the loss, even years after the baby's gone. Ask any old woman how many kids she has had. You will get an answer inclusive of the blue babies who didn't survive long. Such is motherhood.

The "Elephant" Experience...

2010-06-23T19:09:00.000+05:30

Oooooooo! For the first time ever, my son saw a living elephant so closely! I
clicked some snaps...will put them up tomorrow morning first thing. Gotto rush to
cook, didn't want this day to pass off without me noting what fun it was for the
little fellow to see the "Bigggggggg" elephant.

Afterwards, while going on the bike enjoying the cold breeze (yeah, its cold out here in Chennai since its raining now and then since yesterday.); I asked my son how he felt. He says - "Happy. That is opposite of Sad. Like Big is opposite of small." I just joked, "Sahil is small, elephant is Big." He announced, "You are making me sad. I am not small, I did not stand near elephant leg know, so I am not small. Shall we check the height?"

Of course, I had to convince him, even if I stood next to the elephant, elephant
would seem taller/bigger than me! Phew! He was finally 'okay' about being 'small'. :) And to say he is only a five year old... :PPP

The Boy Nobody No's

2010-06-03T20:31:00.000+05:30

Came across a beautiful poem that makes it crystal clear that even when you love your kids, it is perfectly alright to deny them some things. As parents, we do know what's for the best and still, there are times when we give in to the happy feeling that comes, when we let kids have their way.

This poem has a simple touchy feeling that allows 'forever-agreeing' parents to learn to 'dis-agree' and at the same time, comforts the parents who are forever watchful of their own parenting style, wondering if they are right in saying 'No' to their kids. Let me know what you think.

******

Not so long ago, and not so far away
There was a little boy named Randy.
Now this little boy was a source of true joy,
To his Mom and Dad and family.

But Randy grew up in a curious way,
That some may consider best
For this little boy, unlike most little boys,
Received any and all requests.

He would want to do this, or ask to do that,
And his parents would never say "no";
They loved him so much and really believed
This was the perfect way to grow.
Things seemed to be fine for quite a long time,
And Randy's parents were proud
Then this little boy, who once was a joy,
Threw tantrums in front of a crowd.

His parents would try to quiet him down,
But he would just not be still
He did as he pleased, and no one would dare
To ever cross Randy's will.

They mumbled and stumbled for words to explain
Randy's shockingly rude displays
And all the worst tantrums seemed to be saved
For Christmas and holidays!

But then in the spring, ---- a wonderful thing,
An event , that opened their eyes
It happened in May, on a cool, rainy day
(Sometimes joy can be pain in disguise.)

Randy's friend came to play, and he stayed the whole day,
He and Jim had a wonderful time
When all of a sudden Jim got up to leave,
And started to say his "good byes".

It was getting near night, his friend Jim was polite
But he finally had to say,
"My dad said come home when it starts to get dark
So I'll have to be on my way.”

He left Randy there at the top of the stairs,
Then much to Jim's surprise;
He heard Randy crying, saw a few toys go flying
He just couldn't believe his eyes.

"Oh, let him go home!" Randy screamed all alone,
"I'll be sad and unhappy... who cares!"
Randy didn't know, that his dad was at home,
And heard the whole thing from downstairs.

His dad's heart was grieved, he just couldn't believe
Randy's awful behavior that day
He wanted to talk, so they went for a walk,
And discovered some things on the way.

Randy spoke first, "Jim's dad is the worst,
Who could have a daddy so mean!
I know if I said I wanted to stay,
You'd never make me have to leave!"

His dad then thought back on his own early years,
His father was tender, but tough;
And seemed to be able to balance the two—
Could it be that just love's not enough?

That's when it came clear, who was at fault here,
And Randy was not to blame
As hard as it was to admit to himself
He didn't raise Randy the same.

He turned to his son and regretfully said,
"I've done an injustice to you
By letting you go, never telling you 'no'
But now I see what to do

I was brought up to mind my own dad,
And I knew he loved me so
But there were many times, in love, He had to tell me 'no'!

Now there were tears, but through the years
A bond between us grew;
I'd like to think that someday
You'll say the same of me and you!

I love you so much, but love needs to be tough,
And I should be teaching you how
To handle yourself when faced with a 'no'
Do you think we could start over now?"

Randy thought long on all that was said,
And one thing he did know for sure;
That someday he wanted to be like his dad
He smiled and said, "Yes, Sir".

As they walked home, on that memorable night,
A father and son at their best;
They talked of the lessons of love in a "No",
That you'll never receive in a "Yes".

Copyright © 2004 by Jeannie Veltz

On Amma's B'Day

2010-06-02T14:11:00.007+05:30

As another year of our togetherness begins,

Amma, I stand back and look at us;

Wondering at how soon life passes

and we are knit with memorable threads!

Though one fine day you came home

to see me formally,

I know, I had known some things

about you, prior to that.

Your son had given me

an image of you that overflows with love

and still, chooses to let free

those she loves!

At times, when I used to wonder

If you would be able to give me

your love, naturally, the way its given

to all your other children,

including my dear co-sis;

it was comforting to know,

your son had no such doubts.

He was always so sure

of your un-ending compassion,

that he drove away my fears

about complete acceptance,

as soon as they surfaced.

Of course, I still had

my own side of exploration...

From the first time I met you,

and you asked me, how would I like,

to be called.....The feeling I felt then, Amma,

to be asked so caringly,

made me feel one with the family.

Then, there were many other instances too.

Before I could show to you,

that I will do all I can

to keep the happiness and love

in the family intact....

you showered me with genuine affection!!!

If we thought your sons

love you so much b'coz they are yours,

My regards for you unknowingly increased

to see the bonding between bhabhi and you.

I knew it then, somewhere, deep within,

soon, I will be the child of the mother,

my hubby calls his own!

I can't pen down all the treasures

knowing you and being with you

have brought along.....

The one that makes me go emotional

anytime even today,

is the voice of love I heard

when we spoke first after Sahil's birth!

Do you remember, Amma?

You had cried for my pain!

I had fallen in love, all over again,

with my hubby, for him being your son!

That's how you are Amma.

Sweet, Caring, Loving

without hesitating....

gentle in your own way.

I have thought many times

to let you know all this

and much more....

but every time, we are together,

we are busy making new memories!

Only one last thing...

Please teach me, to be the mum

You have been, dear Amma.

Ajj Din Chadheya - Translation

2010-06-02T13:01:00.001+05:30

A friend of mine had requested for a translation of the "Ajj Din Chadheya" song from "Love Aaj Kal" movie. I loved to do the translation and thought of adding it here for my other friends. Enjoy!

Love Aaj Kal – (2009)
Music Director: Pritam Chakraborty
Director: Imtiaz Ali
Lyrics: Irshad Kamil
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone
Song Title: Ajj Din Chadheya

Ajj Din Chadheya

Ajj din chadheya --------- Today, the day has come out
Tere rang varga ---------- In your color (God is supposed to be very bright, luminescent)

Ajj din chadheya ---------- Today, the day has come out
Tere rang varga ---------- In your color
Phul sa hai khila aaj din ---- the day has blossomed like a flower

Rabba mere din yeh na dhale ----- God, my days do not see a sunset (In the sense, when day ends, my pain doesn’t)
Woh jo mujhe khwab mein mile ---- the one whom meets me in my dreams
Use tu lagade ab gale --------------- you make me hug her (make her mine)
Tenu dil da vaasta ------------------ Am binding you with my heart’s yearning (The singer treats God like a friend/savior – so, its like – if you want my heart to keep beating…)

Rabba aaya dar digaar ke ------ God, I have come to your door (here I have a doubt, I think he says “dar pay pyaar key” – which would mean, at the lover’s door)
Sara jahan chod chaad ke ------ I have left the entire world (as only the loved one matters)
Mere sapne sawar de ---------- Make my dreams beautiful (make them real)
Tenu dil da vasta --------------- Am binding you with my heart’s yearning…

Ajj din chadheya ------- Today, the day has come out
Tere rang varga -------- In your color

Baksha gunaho ko -------- You have forgiven the sins
Sun ke duwao ko ---------- by listening to prayers (spoken by sinners)
Rabba pyaar hai ----------- God, love is
Tune sab ko hi de diya ----- What you have given to everyone

Meri bhi aahon ko ---------- To my sighs too (listen to my sighs)
Sun le duwao ko ----------- listen to my prayers
Mujhko woh dila maine jisko hai dil diya ---- Give me the one to whom I have given my heart…

Aas voh pyaas voh usko de itna bata ----- She is my hope, my thirst; please tell her just this
Woh jo mujhko dekh ke hase ------------ the one who laughs on seeing me
Pana chahun raat din jise ----------------- whom I want to make mine day and night
Rabba mere naam kar use ---------------- God, assign her to me! :)
Tenu dil da vasta ------------------------- Am binding you with my heart’s yearning…

Ajj din chadheya
Tere rang varga

Maanga jo mera hai ------------------------- I have asked you what is mine
Jaata kya tera hai ---------------------------- What do you stand to lose?
Maine kaun si tujhse jannat maang li ---------- I have not asked you for the paradise (in the sense, paradise is yours, am not asking that)

Kaisa khuda hai tu --------------------------- What kind of a God are you?
Bas naam ka hai tu --------------------------- You might be only a name afterall
Rabba jo teri itni si bhi na chali ----------- if YOU can not even deliver my asking! (In the sense, your specialty is in doing what mortals can not)

Chahiye jo mujhe -------------- What I desire
Kar de tu mujhko ata ---------- you please handover to me
Jeeti rahe saltanat teri ---------- May your lineage rejoice
Jeeti rahe ashiqui meri ---------- May my love rejoice
Dede mujhe zindagi meri -------- Give me my life to me….
Tenu dil da vasta ---------------- Am binding you with my heart’s yearning…

Rabba mere din yeh na dhale
Woh jo mujhe khwab mein mile
Use tu lagade ab gale
Tenu dil da vasta

Rabba aaya dar pay yaar ke
Sara jahan chod chad ke
Mere sapne sawar de
Tenu dil da vasta

Ajj din chadheya
Tere rang varga
Ajj din chadheya
Tere rang vargaaaa…
Ajj din chadheya
Tere rang vargaaa..
Din chadheyaaaa..

Note: Let me know if you need me to translate any other song... I would love to do it! :)

Some of Sahil's Sentences!

2010-05-20T10:47:00.004+05:30

Here are some of the 'verbatim' stuff - from Sahil - jotted sometime last September...

S: "I tell. You write. OK?" ----- while doing HW.

S: "I write, then I can learn?" ----- when I insisted that he writes, so he can learn.

S: "How you know? desk is 'd', 'e' 's' 'k'? You telling when u r writing? u saw my note book?" ------ when he asked me 'desk' spelling and I told correctly.

S: "I don't want to say when I am writing. I am writing only, know?" -------- When I was insisting he reads while he writes.

S: "Can I color first, then we do home work?" -------- When he had writing and coloring to do.

S: "You help me color, please. Lets do something that I can do fast. Okay?"

S: "Mine not gone outside, see your color I think is going to go outside. You are doing so faassst know. We should not put it outside. Correct, mumma?" ------ While trying to color 'perfectly'.

S: "Okay, now I am your mother. Okay?" ----- Role-play, so he can command what needs to be done.

S: "I am the teacher. I teach you, you tell me, I ask, okay? Tell me, desk. " ----- When I asked him 'desk' spelling and he didn't know.

S: "When I become big, and I become mummy know... then you will become small know, then I take care of you, okay?" -------- This one is my favorite!! I had fun explaining he would not become 'mummy' and I would never become 'small'. :)

S: "In my school - one Aditi know, she told me 'shut up' today mumma. I felt v bad, I also told her shut up. "
M: We should not speak like that, v bad she told u like that. U don't talk like that to anyone who says bad words okay. We should never say bad words. I don't want you to say 'shut up' to anyone....
S: "Okay, next time, this time i told 'galti say' (by mistake), next time, I not say. I won't talk to anyone telling bad words, okay mumma? mumma, why is 'shut up' bad word? we should not tell 'rascal' also?" : : : (I begin to wonder.....)

The Gift from "Indus Ladies" on Mother's Day!!!

2010-05-16T01:11:00.005+05:30

Yey! This Mother's Day, I have been given a gift for being a 'Mommy Blogger'. :) No wonder, I can't stop smiling!

When there have been moments, when I have wondered,
why do I blog?
Plus, why don't I
blog all that comes to my mind?
I have given myself enough reasons and excuses.

I haven't forgotten - I began blogging as a side-effect of motherhood. :) I began with hoping to jot down all that 'being a mother' is all about. I, obviously have failed to do so... as in, not everything that makes me what I am (even just as a 'Mom') can't be reasonably jotted. Mmm... I have continued though, and plan to do so for as long as I can.

This Mother's Day - my son didn't give me a gift (like two years ago), or a card (with his dad's help). He hugged me, and with excitement in his eyes, looked at me and immediately after wishing me - asked me what "Gifttt" I was going to give him!! At that moment, I realized a profound truth I had known but never worded. I was able to think that Mother's Day is not only about celebrating your mother for being who she is -- because she is your mother all your life; it is about celebrating the bonding that exists between a parent and a child. Irrespective of who teaches whom on which day, a Mother's Day is for a mother to count her blessings and to bless her kids.

You know what? The plain act of my son asking me a 'gift' - made me ponder in what ways I can contribute as a mother, to anyone else, besides my own baby. I got some brilliant ideas and I am going to take up at least one of them. Let me see how far I take it. I will write about it in another post, hopefully out of the post-implementation excitement.

Okay, now about the 'Gift' that I got from Indus Ladies. Well, well, Indus Ladies has brought the "Mommy Bloggers" close-together by compiling an e-book, just for Us. :) :) Mm, I am listed there too, but the real joy is to get links to so many other Mommies out there - who are writing about their experiences with their kids!

If like me, you are interested in reading what other Mothers are saying/doing/going through - here's the e-book: Indus Ladies - Mommy Bloggers E-book

Have fun and let me know if you come across something that you want me to write about!

Hiya! Am Back...

2010-04-20T11:29:00.003+05:30

I came across the following quote a few months ago. I was actually captivated by the exact match of words that portray how I think. Here it is, see if it makes sense to you:

*****

Fritz Williams:
I believe in cultivating opposite, but complementary views of life, and I believe in meeting life's challenges with contradictory strategies. I believe in reckoning with the ultimate meaninglessness of our existence, even as we fall in love with the miracle of being alive. I believe in working passionately to make our lives count while never losing sight of our insignificance. I believe in caring deeply and being beyond caring. It is by encompassing these opposites, by being involved and vulnerable, but simultaneously transcendent and detached, that our lives are graced by resilience and joy.

*****

For the Little Ones - Pending since 19Nov09

2010-01-07T14:46:00.006+05:30

I know it pains when we read or come across some gory detail of any form of child abuse. Why am I writing about it? Do I think, my writing in my own blog can make a difference? Well, YES!

For all that I am worth, if I am asked to punish someone who is guilty of misbehaving with a kid, I won’t think twice. I wonder why we have all such cases languishing in our courts. How dare we let anyone who is ‘found guilty’ to be ‘proved innocent’ and keep the trials on for years?

If there is someone who truly moves me – It’s a kid. I am sure, most of the people I have known until now, have felt that ‘soft, caring’ feeling for the little ones. Is it because we form a society that has so much drama involved in everything that happens; we choose to hush the words when someone comes along complaining or is it that we are basically, gutless?

How many of us know and acknowledge that there are several forms of abusing a child? How many of us, bother to find out for ourselves, how many kids have faced some form of abuse? How many of us are willing to take the right steps to put an end to all this? Most important, how many of us know – what is the right preventive and curative approach?

Breaking off for a bit and adding all my other thoughts on making this a safer/better place for kids:

1. Can we ensure the school kids who commute by government buses have special buses at their service?

2. Can we ensure that whichever school it may be – there is ownership on maintaining a clean and safe environment?

a. Start with the staff.
i. Do you have a mandate in place that teachers are not allowed to raise their hands/scale/textbooks/dusters to ‘instill discipline’?
ii. Do you have a character certificate for the staff you employ? Do you think it is required? Not just the teachers, the office staff, include even the school bus drivers/conductors, ayahs and even the gardener. ---- Sounds far fetched? Well, it’s how important you think safety of a kid is!

b. Can you ensure that all the school kids reach school without their bags getting locked into some truck? – This happened yesterday to a school kid cycling to his school.

c. Can we ensure there are cycling zones for at least 4 kms near each school, in all directions? – sounds far fetched again!

d. Can we ensure our kids don’t carry the burden of bags more than half their own weight?

e. Can we ensure that we have separate toilet facilities for kids – without making them witness adults relieving themselves shamelessly?

3. Can we ensure our kids don’t carry the weight of our aspirations so much that any failure breaks their spirit?

4. Can we ensure that our kids are taught that it’s not right to bully or be bullied?

5. It isn’t enough to ban ragging. The need of the hour is to teach kids how morally wrong it is to ‘demean’ anyone in any way! The lessons need to start early…

6. Have we the courage to give the confidence to our kids that they can share whatever they want to – with us (parents/teachers) without fearing reprimand?

7. Do we make our kids aware of ‘how they can be ill treated” and what they must do in those cases?

8. Do we give them the trust that we trust them?

9. The helping hands that we employ – drivers/maids/watchmen – do we care for their welfare and treat them with dignity? Are we passing the same lessons to our kids? Are we ensuring, our kids don’t become easy targets to ‘keeping dirty secrets’?

I wish we had strict and immediate punishments, which deter the abusers from any such thoughts as well. Also, there’s a need for ‘education against abuse’. The kids know it any day when they are wronged that it’s not something right – but we need to teach them how to safeguard and speak about such incidents – in confidence to their parents. As educators, we need to tell parents that it does not right the wrong to scold or blame your child when he/she reports in such unfortunate incidents. Moreover, as a society, we need to take collective responsibility to avoid unnecessary moral policing but be willing and open to watching and initiating strong action against the wrong-doers.

As a society, can we ensure that we don’t employ girls of tender age for house-keeping? Many times, while keeping the houses clean, these girls suffer at the hands of the other keepers or the owner. It is not unusual to be beaten up if they fail in any of their duties. How many of us are aware that it is a form of abuse? When we talk of child abuse, verbal/physical abuses and domestic violence – all of it applies to children of all ages who still are not big enough to support themselves and save themselves.

Being educated ourselves; we can hope to bring in a BETTER tomorrow. For ourselves – by not committing any such abuses and for them – by sparing them any torture. Being aware is the first step. Being a human, second. Or is it the other way round? What does it take to understand another person’s pain? …

To know more about child abuse and its impact – go here - http://childsexualabuseinindia.blogspot.com

December-09 Updates

2010-01-02T18:04:00.002+05:30

1. Allowing him to test my gaming skills on iPod Touch has had its advantage. When I lost, I smilingly said, "I didn't practice. How could I win? Okay, I lost." Thereafter, my son seems to have understood two things. We don't need to 'feel bad' if we lose and we need to 'practice' if we want to be good at something! I get to see a big change in him when we sit to do our lessons and my dear son announces, "mumma, I am going to 'practice' everything. You ask me to write, okay? I will write all words 3 times?" [This coming from a boy who finds it too much to sit still and do his lessons! Pat on the back to me!]

Not just this, while writing, when he makes "s" like "r", when I chide, he says, "That's why I am practicing, because I not write very neatly. I will do it 'corretttly' now, see..." :)) How can I not feel proud of a willing heart!?

2. He had questions with "these" and "those". Each "these" question had to be answered starting with "these" (as expected). However, while teaching him, I asked him, "what are these?" - pointing to a set of balls. While he was thinking his answer (I am sure he was counting how many red and how many blue balls were there in the picture...), I looked at him. In my impatience to hurry him, I looked at the picture and said - "these are those". [Wanting him to decode 'those' as 'balls']. For my next question, "what are these", my son doesn't blink an eyelid and pat comes the reply - "these are those". :) [You get what you give...]

3. I love being called "kutty mumma" by my son. I call him "kutty paaapu" meaning "small baby".... and its been more than a year that my son first called me lovingly "kutty mumma". :) It feels wonderful whenever he remembers to shower me with that special "arms around my neck", "cheek-on-cheek", "kutty mumma" hug!

4. His dad takes a full pack of Britannia Cakes. While I pack sahil's tiffins, he asks me for a full pack too. As I stand to reason out, he says, "you gave full pack to my father know?". I say, "yes shona, but he has a drawer at office where he can keep it. You will waste if you take full pack and go..." and that answer doesn't satisfy my little one. Full marks if you guess what he tells next! --- "I not waste. I eat and then I bring it back okay? I help you alcho, I fill my bottle, still now you are not giving me full packet. I like that cake. You give to my daddy only fully." :)) I didn't want him to think that I love his dad more than I love him (what's love got to do with a pack of cake!). Plus, I didn't want him to think that 'filling his bottle, helping me' is a bribe that's gonna get him the cake. I was like, "Shall I keep 2 cake pieces and rest you come home and eat? How about that?" He says, "I not talk." I am left with no choice but not to let him spoil my mood and his for a pack of cake. I got a box and told him, he can take the whole pack but bring back any that he isn't able to finish, by keeping properly in the box. The monkey gets back to his 'hanging on the branch' tricks! (read - being his mom's backpack!) saying "I loveeeeeee youuuu 10 mummmmmyyyyy".

Yey!! It's New Year Again!

2010-01-02T18:01:00.001+05:30

A very Happy New Year to all my friends out there!

Wish you all loads of happiness, good health and many joyful moments in the year ahead.

--- Warm regards.

Some of Our Chats

2009-11-24T20:24:00.003+05:30

Long pending update. :) Here are some of the chats between my little fellow and his mom (me!)

White Shoes:

S: Mumma, today white trousers and white shoessss?
M: Yes shona.
S: Why, mumma?
M: Its Monday na today, that's y.
S: Oh, okay. Then, tomomorrow? (yeah, that's how he says tomorrow!)
M: Tomorrow, you will wear blue shorts and black shoes.
S: How do you know, mumma? (Does he think I don't have a brain? ;))
M: Shonu, it's Tuesday na tomorrow, that's y.
S: Oh okay. How do you know, Tuesday tomomorrow?
M: Shonuuu! Today is Monday, then Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday, Friday,Saturday, Sunday and again Monday will come. That's how days are.
S: Okay mumma. (little silently this time, I end up thinking, did I react little strongly to the last question!?!)

Without a minute's pause, S: Why it is Monday today? :-)

Can you answer why a day is what day it is!??!

While playing with his dad:

S: Mumma, papa is pushinggg meeeee.
M: Why shonu? what happened?
S: I don't know.
M: What did you do? Why is papa pushing you?
S: I did not do yennything ('anything'). Papa is simpleee pushing me.
M: Papa is simply pushing you? Wait, I'll ask Papa why he is pushing you.
J: We are playing. (No justification, just facts!)
S: No mumma. When we playing know, I pushed papa. Then, papa pushing me nicely. I not playing with papa, but papa is simply pushing me. (---Am thinking --- Means, so long as he is winning, it's all okay? When he begins to get pushed, he isn't playing anymore! I have to instill the importance of playing - not just winning...)
M: :-) Okay, don't play. You come to the kitchen with me.
J: Good.
S: Not good papa. Come, let's fight.
M: I am going to the kitchen. If you get hurt again don't come crying to me. Okay?
S: Okay. I not cry. I am big boy know. I fight with papa. See. I am strong. Come papa. Let's fight. See my musssels (muscles)! (provokes for fighting! true ninja!)

The nonsense fun continues. :-)

While eating food

S: I don't want more mumma. My stomach is full. Touch and see.
M: Little more shonu. Last time?
S: I aten (ate + en = past tense of eaten) fully mumma.
M: :-) Okay.

After 5 minutes:
S: Mumma, give me more food mumma. When I finish my food know, papa is going to give me something special.
M: Hmm, okay. You will become big and strong also...when you finish your food.
S: I am big and strong mumma. I am dinking complan everyday. Yessss. (by the time I am publishing this, he says drinking properly.)

On passing by Naani's Ex-house:

S: We not going to naani's house?
M: Saku, I told you, naani is staying with us now, right? So we will go to our house.
S: Somebody is there in naani house? Tell me mumma. (He partly remembers what I had explained the last time he had asked me this question.)
M: Yes shonu. Now, someone else is staying in naani's house. So, we can't go and stay there.
S: Oh okay. Why mumma?
M: What 'why' sahil? I told you na, the house-owner has asked someone else to stay there.
S: Oh okay, that's why naani staying in our house?
M: yes saku.Now our house is naani's house also.
S: Oh okay. That is papa's house alcho. Correct mumma?
M: My darling baby. yes. It's everyone's house.
S: but ajay, nikhil, debbie not staying in our house. correct mumma? (I feel like screaming.... the other kids at creche stay in their houses, why will they stay in ours!!?!)

Making a Date!

2009-10-01T17:08:00.003+05:30

Okay, enough of this/that/these/those (yeah, that's been my son's English portion, but I am not talking about that!)... :) I mean, I am making a date tonight with my blog and that's exactly I am going to remain awake to do!

Office work has been hectic and yeah, some interesting personal commitments too...topped with sahil/jeshee dear falling sick lately. Imagine, last entry was on Apr29! I feel so bad, don't want to let go of so many things that have happened in the last 3-5 months! :((((

So, here it is. :) I will be back online tonight, just hold on...

How to vote for my entry!!!

2009-04-29T14:27:00.005+05:30

Okay Guys, some of you have been wondering how to vote for my article (either because U have read and liked my article or simply!) .... :-) here's the link:

Link for Voting:
http://indusladies.com/partners/poll.php

Link to all entries:
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/phoenixritu/thank-you-so-much-people-1850/

Angels Awaited...

2009-04-26T18:56:00.001+05:30

My entry for the "Mother's Day Blog Contest" ...

What has becoming a mother done to me? How exciting it felt, when I was going to be a mother? How incredible it was to hear the heartbeat of my baby within me, for the first time? How joyful were those months while we and my body prepared to bring home the baby? How touching it was to touch tenderly the little new-born? What a roller-coaster ride it has been ever since? How does it feel, to be a mother? How difficult and emotional it is, to become a mother? How different it is, to feel as a mother all the time? All these questions can make so many of us write pages and pages on our own individual feelings and also, the collective emotions. Against all this, a sad recent thought, lingers on these days. Where are we heading? How tough it is becoming, to become a mother?

It’s only on becoming a mother though; several new feelings have come to the fore. Besides becoming a mother itself being an overwhelming experience, being a mother has taught me several things already and the experience seems forever enriching. The tender feelings I feel as a mother, while being precarious for my child, have powered my thoughts on several other mothers of different generations.

I am able to feel much more strongly than ever before, about the mothers who were and are even now, never offered a choice. Whether it was about starting a family, about keeping the numbers low or even about being able to add years between the kids. Don’t we all know how strong the societal pressures have been for generations, to beget a son? Just like an heir to a throne!

In all we value about being mothers, there are so many moments of realization. Doesn’t it create an unknown bonding when we come across someone who is on her way to becoming a mother? Women looking slightly pot-bellied have a charm of their own. We, who have successfully crossed the bridge and moved into motherhood, feel happy for such on-the-way ones. A smile between women, says it all.

Sadly, just around the corner are few other women, who are just waiting. Waiting, in the hope that soon their tests would turn positive too. They too, would have the joy of feeling a life blossoming within and hold one of their own, close to their hearts. They are the dream mothers - women, who are waiting to be entrusted with the promise of bringing a life into the world. My heart goes out to all such women, who long to hold a baby of their own.

In today's fast life, where almost everything is becoming 'planned', God seems to have chosen to remind us mortals that - we are not in control of everything! Yes, a majority of us can and do 'Plan' - to marry, to opt for a career and eventually, start a family. Somehow, somewhere along the plans, someone seems to have spilt some oil on the floor. For some of us, the natural act of childbearing seems to be becoming fruitless.

To a large extent, the essence of motherhood starts with the acknowledgement of a life blossoming within. A decade or so ago, it would seem troublesome if one out of twenty married women neighbors didn't bear a child within the first two years. Times have changed for the worse. It is becoming more and more painful and common to witness the other side getting crowded. With late marriages, successful careers, unhealthy eating habits, intentional waiting period coupled with unexplainable reasons - some of the women seem to be paying the price too high already.

Most touchy are the cases where the cause of infertility isn't clear and the wait seems to be endless. How can you cure something when you don't even know why and what of the situation? How long can you wait patiently, maintain your temperament, in the hope that maybe, next cycle, results would turn positive?

Trust me, most of these are very strong women and are plunging headlong to set right the wrongs.

I am aware of some of my friends trying to wade through this torture. Few have given up their careers, in the hope that treatment and low-pressure will work soon. Others are trying to absorb the medical analysis/treatment into their routine as if it’s just another slice of life... I see some others, tired of the long wait and now looking at adoptions as the last resort. Some of us may be quick to say, "Well, maybe, adoption is the way to go." But having had the joy of carrying my little one within me and having brought him into this world, I do feel compassionate towards their natural loss.

Of course, there is no stopping to 'feeling like a mother', even if your child is not yours biologically. So long as there is love in the heart, warmth in the hug and care in the bonding; many women will find kids to love. This mother's day, being a mother, I am hoping for a miracle in their lives and join my hands to pray for them and theirs-to-be.

Voted

2009-03-13T11:22:00.000+05:30

Recent Melody of My Pied Piper

2009-03-12T14:20:00.002+05:30

1. Good Night Guys - While I was in US, saku announced one night to his dad - "Good Night Guys". with a smile. Jeshee was pleasantly surprised as that is his way of switching himself off!! :-)
2. Ammmama....annamaaa - One fine day, saku kept calling me as "Ammamaa" and "Annnamaaa". Thats the way he addresses his Grandmother and GreatGrandmother!
3. Gifthh - aeroplane and gifthhh
4. Laptop for meeeeee??
5. Cart-wheel Trials
6. Ajay "dous" instead of does. (do + esss)
7. The "Why" man - "why we going on mum's bike?", "why papa not dropping me to school?", "why we staying in naaani house?", "why you missed me when you gone in the US?", "why khushi didi not staying in my house?", "why we going in the big van?".
8. I went in the Taxi know, I take you now in Taxi. Yesss, seriously.
9. I want to eat Vegeeetable. Ladies finger only.
10. One day, one day papa know, take me to d beach know, one doggy coming near papa. Then know, papa walking fast. After chumtime know, sahil ask papa, "why papa walking fast?".
11. Understands jokes! - washing the bathroom; broom hanging - witch house?
12. mimics my laugh as taught by his dad!! (hehahaha)
13. lather, loofah and fun!
14. He tries to lift his eye upper lid and all that!!!!! He doesnt get it right yet...but wonder who taught him that at crechei am trying my best to stop him.
15. Like on opening fridge he says, "mummy, when I small know, I not can open the fridge, Yesss, I not can do. Now I open the fridge know. I am big boy now."
16. The other day in park, he went (climbed and came down) a high arched circular hanging mettalic exercise type swing and I was - flabbergasted at all that my son could do, all by
himself!! Thanks to the Monkey Genes in him? ;-)

New Year - Bidding Farewell to 2008...

2009-03-12T14:18:00.001+05:30

This has been the year when....
1. My son turned 3.
:-)2. My son started proper school - St. John's - LKG B (his Pre-Kg lasted 5 months).
3. My bro shifted to Qatar.
4. My hubby got PMP certified.
5. I made my first trip to US (minus family!)
6. Some lessons learnt regarding bonding with people.
7. My mum vacated her home (year end).
8. I started blogging about my father and on Tech Writing (lots to add as content though).
9. My younger sis confirmed her good news. :-)))
10. I changed my job for a career :-) finally (or so I think until now....)
11. My Bro-in-law and family moved to Riyadh.
12. I met Bill in US. :-)
13. I met and stayed with our friend and ex-colleague Malar and her hubby Bahu at US.
14. I sent out the maid who was taking my patience for granted and struggled happily for almost 3 months!
15. I understood, in life, when you take steps to work at something, you can only Improve yourself. Its the commitment and willingness to do more, that must keep you
going.
16. My son started writing - even when I wasn't holding his palm. (Dec time frame)
17. I got myself a smart frame (for my glasses) as Sahil had broken a good one when he was very small and I didn't want to invest in something expensive again - until this year - when hubby insisted!
18. I broke my old mobile by mistake - and got a nice one - with camera - as surprise.
19. We got a Calendar of family photos done for my in-laws. :-)
20. I stayed with my mother latter part of the year and my son enjoyed having his Maamu staying close to our home.
21. My bike completed its 1st anniversary!
22. Many times, sahil slept off on our way home on my bike! and his Maamu or dad or both came to our rescue. :-)

More Things to Jot Down

2009-03-12T14:16:00.001+05:30

* Mum as story-teller
* When will be my Happy Bday?
* Frustration - 11Dec08 - unable to pull his pants up by himself!
* Big know - now I can open the fridge.
* we not going to papa house? Nani house only?
* Waheyguru - satnam* Meray betay ko big and strong bana do.
* When I make sound like that know, big potty come.
Binoy Appan's Wedding
1. Flushing happiness
2. Button - becoming a master
3. Fall from the table :-(
Vacating Mum's Home
25Dec08
Didnt take saku for Santa seeing :-((( More of a disappointment for me than for him.
1. Belti - means -
2. Nani- so sweet of u
3. Repeating forbidden habit- never-ending "last" for everything!
4. Calling deepi masi/meenu masi as amy masi, when corrected, asks,"then, whoisamymasi?"
2007
1. Sahil started Pre-Kg in October. :-) 2. Was it in 2007 Dec that we went to Pondy?

Wishlist for 09

2009-03-12T14:14:00.001+05:30

1. More Family holidays (just the 3 of us) - jungle safaris etc.
2. More achievements - professionally.
3. Professionally learn - Glass Painting.
4. Exercise - routinely.
5. Practise writing more with Sahil. :-)
6. Create a family album.
7. Sort the paper clutter routinely. :-)
8. Complete long pending tasks (~)
9. Update blog more often. (Record life as it passes)
10. Take time out - for more adventurous/fun-filled activities.
11. Take Sahil cycling regularly.

What was that, about Satyam, pardon?

2009-03-12T14:03:00.002+05:30

Yeah, I know, its been the hottest and most-boiling topic of all discussions last 3 days now. How, Why and What is all clear, except - where from here. What bothers me?
Well, having been with Satyam (and having considered working there one of the best times of all my work-experiences...) I feel, its a very grave situation. More importantly, my hubby is with Satyam. So, any stone-hurled at Satyam, causes concern to both of us.

No doubt, like everyone else, we have been shell-shocked with the startling revelations and the aftermath has just begun. Last night (back then when saga unfolded), we watched a channel where a student who had an offer-letter from Satyam was wondering about his chances. :-( I was thinking, about those who have put in their hard-work/time/energy/effort/life for long (including hubby).... Nah, it won't be the truth if I said, "am not worried". I know, its becoming more or less an economic imbalance and somehow or the other, some solution (probably merger, acquisition, take-over....call it what you may) - will take care of some part of the problem. What then? Obviously, not all 52000 odd employees are going to be absorbed (those not on bench are now on same edgy feeling as those on bench)... and not all existing clients are going to be able
to keep the faith. In what? :-(

Well, what's in store will be clear as time passes. As some channels reported, most of the "let me see if I can get a job before I am asked to leave mine" mind-sets have already fuelled the job portals. What that can do in reverse is - to enable offers much lesser than achievments already made (in terms of pay packages - please don't forget the EMIs!!!!) or make a "parking lot" of the over-available lot while things simmer.

As it is, with recession in, there was an insecurity and people were beginning to "cut down" on extras. Now, with a pool of employable-talents waiting to be made-to-feel-secured, what is to be expected?...

So long as the work-layer continues at Satyam offices, something will come through soon. Blames and excuses, names and games will continue to flood the channels...but who gets impacted to what degree, remains to be seen. Until then, there's only hope of a better tomorrow...
**********
Jan13: Govt has set its own board, to iron out issues at Satyam. My hubby's client has visited them - confidence building. Some signs of improvement...
Recently: Govt. first declared (atleast some channels reported that) it would support Satyam with a Bailout for 2000 Cr. (that might suffice salaries for employees for next 4 months).
Now, that step has been retraced as Govt. adds more board members and re-assessing Satyam; there may be manageable recievables of 1700 Cr by Satyam. PWC says it 'trusted' Satyam's paperwork...
Things may improve. Not the right time for market to poach employees or clients, so everyone is waiting and watching ........
20Feb09
There was speculation about Jan salaries, thankfully, those came through. One hurdle crossed - by the new management in charge now. Doubts exist still in the minds of all, irrespective of the open-communication to some extent within the organization. Everyone is hoping for stability and security to replace the "what-may-happen-is-a-question" feeling.
********
Perfect article - satyam and lies - what a prespective!http://ibnlive.in.com/blogs/ahmedalishaik/2200/53151/satyam-scam--politics-media--lies.html

More to Note

2009-03-12T14:00:00.001+05:30

Jan 22 09
There is total sync between what Ithink and what Isay. Thats why, I say without delay. :-)
05Feb09
1. Engagement details - pankaj bhaiya (and saku details)
2. US trip - you are goingto cleannn meee?
3. soaps and prices!

24-Feb-09 - Sahil and a Complaint

2009-03-12T13:57:00.003+05:30

Two weeks ago, I was complaining about my son's classmate who hit him. :-( Today, someone has told me that my son hits his daughter in the class sometimes! I do not know what to say. Am I more embarrased than angry? Maybe. I am not angry, actually. I am beginning to get concerned, what makes my son hit someone in his class? I have asked the father to find out instances for which my son has displayed anger. I have known my little one to be naughty yes, but, not violent so far. Well, he does playfully fight with his dad, but don't all 4 year old boys do that?? Hmm... maybe I am overreacting. Its afterall "a normal thing" and my son will "outgrow" his "display of strength" soon. But yeah, I don't want to and nor will, leave it unattended. I will speak to him and find out, what happened. Why am I like this man! But, see, the conversation
that I/Saku and then Hubby/Saku and We/Saku had. It was another learning experience in Child-Management!
(Read Tantrum/Truth/Kid/School/Fight/Tell/Beat/Snacks/Maam tags into it!)
*****
Me: Sahil, beta do u fight with anyone in ur class?
saku: no mamma.
me: are you sure, u did not fight with anybodddy in school?
saku: no mumma. I not fight with anybooodyyy.
me: okay. somone was telling me you are fighting sometimes.
saku: who was telling mumma? I not fight, am telling you know. I not talk to you.
Me: Oh, dont be upset saku, am just asking. I want you to tell me the truth, beta.
Saku: am telling truth only. I not talk to you.

*** I break the conversation and lead it to other fun things...before I start again.
Me:
To be continued...

3-Mar-09 - Amy is a Mum Today...

2009-03-12T13:56:00.001+05:30

Amy's baby is born!!! Longing to touch and hold the new little one and welcome her into the family. family. oh... am missing my father while I think of amy's baby.

11-Mar-09 - Holi

2009-03-12T13:37:00.003+05:30

My Thots on 11Mar09 and snaps of same evening

What the heck? How long am I going to keep postponing my appointment with my blog?
:-( scribbles here and scribbles there... but none that speak of how fast life is running past us and "we" are losing some of the "we" that we used to be!
The first quarter of this year is round the corner and well... my blog is yet to see the "Happy New Year" post! :-( Shame on me. Whom am I kidding that I am busy-busy-busy bee??
I don't want to be this busy that I forget or overlook what I don't want to leave behind. Grrrrrrrrrrr.... I am posting all that I have scribbled lately and then, when time permits... No. When I MAKE TIME for adding explanations to my scribbles, I will do so. :-)

Am feeling sad that this day used to be one of the most fun-filled once upon a time... especially during school. Colours never cost as much as sparklers, so I guess, it was more welcome a festival than Diwali. hehe. :-)
Water balloons! I have to do it with my son, Man! Okay, am buying colours and picking my little one and am going to wait for hubby to join us in the fun, when he gets home. No more - I wish we would celebrate holi like I used to. :-)) If not today, then when? This year too would pass...soon. My dear son - Colours/Water/Balloons/Fun/Young Feeling ... here we come. :-)

Will this color go, mamma?

Anyway, who cares?

Yeah...it was fun!!!

Scribbles - On Mumbai and More...1Dec08 and 3Dec08

2008-12-03T17:54:00.005+05:30

3Dec08

1. Hereafter, once again just like how it was earlier...

will jot down what comes and what I wish to retain

in my mind's eye!

2. My son says,"Mumma I not can write"...

Because he is over-comfortable

with his palm encased within mine,

while he tries to form the letters and numbers.

Small Palm encased in mine

3. I am making him overcome
his so-called-fears and inhibitions...
he is picking on, learning.
He notices when I remove my palm
and he stops letter-forming.
Repeats - "Mummy, Sahil not can write."

4. I know it, deep within
so does he.
He can and yes, while I hold the palm
its he who is writing.
I am building his confidence
each day, when with conviction I say -
"Sahil, wow! see ... what you wrote,
so beautifully!"
I have to make him see, something that doesn't exist completely...
for him to be able to get motivated
and complete the "forming".

5. Yesterday and day-before
I have been stumped.
He has taken the pencil
formed some letters and shown me.
Am I Glad!?!
I am Overjoyed.

6. Last weekend, two note-books I bought.
Want to see the progress the little one makes...
as I help him learn to write independently.
Had a thot - "More lessons learnt than taught".

7. For small letter 'f',
We make a game.
Draw a T shirt, then a pant
and then, put a belt!

8. When saku announces d is b,
I have the Taaray Zameen Par
frisking infront of me.
As a consolation, he realises his mistake
and puts me at ease.

9. Luckily, someone told me,
all children make funny connections
when they learn letters and numbers.
No wonder, his 2 looks like a duck!

10. Suddenly, he announces after dinner -
"Mumma, let's have some fruit."I am suprised and happy
for little fellow remembering a healthy habit...
I am soon reminded, all he wants
is some more time before sleep - to remain a brute!

1 Dec 08

1. Yeah. I have forgotten...
wat it felt to write
what comes to the mind.......
as I try to 'sift' my thots!

2. Strange. Only when mind is blank
there seems to be so much
pending that needs to be drowned
in the inkpot....
paper seems to be flying!

3. What is it that I thot I would pen down now?
Is it becoz I worked hard today
I seem to be getting back to the track!?!

4. Last month ended yesterday.
Thank God!
Wonder what caused so much pain
so much trouble...at time felt total loss of control...
Now getting back to usual...seem like a Bliss!

5. What have the Mumbai attacks done to me?
I don't know. The pain, senseless-ness,
so much of emotional turmoil and yet
I somehow want to put it all behind.

Their loss, reminds me of mine...
different reasons, different times...
still...pain is what unites.

6. Why cant someone put a stop to all this and more...
that comes to my mind?
Where are we heading with this mindless blood-shed?

7. Sometime back, I recall now...I read..
how when a small boy tried giving a fallen bag...
to the bike-fellows....he lost his life in that good act!
I felt horrible then....feel the same now.

8. How do we identify and keep the attackers at bay?
Where is there any security?
How come, each-time something sad happens,
so many of us feel sad, but then, move on???
Is it just okay to feel sorry and move on?
What should I do? I am lost again...
as I have my own home to take care of...
Mine are mine while I am also alive only.....
:-(

9. My dear son asks me why I am watching
a burning building with rapt attention...
What can I do dear one?
I am wondering...how much more we are to witness....

10. I miss being fearless.
I miss being careless.
I miss being happy.
Yes, matter of time, I would soon be fine again.
What about those for whom lots has changed...
for no fault of theirs?

11. Whose resignation would make what difference?
How do we identify the killers?
What can be done to catch the offender before the offence?
But Pappu Can't Catch Sala...........

Children's Day Update

2008-12-03T17:45:00.002+05:30

As mum told my bro, we made Saku Hanuman again on sunday (a year later this time); he was little taller. That was the only difference from last time. He got 2nd place for Fancy dress for Children's Day celebrations of Journalist Colony.

Sahil Hanuman On Stage

Hanuman Ramp Walking

Posing With Mum - 1

Posing with Mum - 2

Had enrolled him for rhymes as well. Had made him practice One Two Buckle my shoe....and when he got the mike in his hand, he started, "Baa Baa Black Sheep...." Good thing was, he said that from start to end, without any problems. But we felt v funny that he didnt sing what rhyme he was prepared for, but something else that came to his head.

I was glad, he did this. He can do this only so long as he is a kiddo. Isn't it? :-)))

Over-Independent Times!

2008-12-03T17:42:00.003+05:30

I watch my little fellow try to be the "Big Boy" he longs to be.

His Shirt Button frustration, T shirt stuck in neck irritation, both legs in one side trouble, self-removal and success at that - wants to display the newly-acquired skills!!

Wants to wear the socks by himself, wears the bag and goes down stairs - refusing to let me help or hold his hand...., sits on the bike by himself - sometimes even before I sit!

Best is - When he is frustrated, he says, I want to be a baby. :-))

Images from My Onsite Trip

2008-11-10T14:23:00.003+05:30

Lost at the Bay

Flowers
The Wet Path...

Hotel - Full Shot

Flowers Again...

Things I Know Were Wonderful

2008-11-05T17:26:00.004+05:30

The Hotel room/Heater/Iron/kitchen (a home away from home in a way. It was even called the "Homewood Suites"!!)
Having a nice colleague from the same place (office) as a companion (whom I could relate to if I felt lost!)
The longing to return where I belong (this was a nice feeling as it reminded me of all the love I treasure and yet take for granted sometimes!)
Cooking rice in microwave, making papads as well!
My struggle for heating water, when I could have just taken the same from the tap!
The long walks in the evening (those were mind-refreshing as I always ended up thinking - this kind of day-ending relaxation is something we must bring back into our busy routine)
The Bay near the Hotel. I just loved the water stretch, though we could not go boating...watching the water morn and eve was itself nice.
Stay at Malar's place - This was even better than I had imagined! Felt just like family and forgot that we were ex-colleagues once upon a time! Not just Malar, her hubby Baks is a nice person to bond with and no wonder, they make as happy a couple as Jeshee and me. :-)) (yeah, am smiling!)
Cooking with Malar, shopping with them and best of all, Playing Poker with them and their friends!! My first time, though I wished we had more time for that again! Moreover, I won but they say, Poker is a Beginner's Game. The Beginner always wins!! Hehee. :-) We were talking about betting 5$ each and I suggested we start with 5 Rupees. (We didn't eventually bet money....) When I won, I wished we had bet Dollars!
Team Lunch and another Team Lunch as Offsite with just the Doc Team - Ted, Kavitha and Me. I just wish, we had a much longer time to just while away :-)))
My Lunch Outing with Bill (my ex-manager). We chatted for almost 3 hours and it was very nice. :-))
How could I forget this??? When I went out with my friends for Dinner, we witnessed a cute young fellow proposing to his fresh-looking girl friend and the entire episode was so lovely. The guy had got the "Will you marry me?" put into the Fortune Cookie that they had after dinner. :-)) The place was a cosy eat-out and it was a lovely experience to see the girl say, "yes, yes, yes!" slowly, hesitatingly and then so excitedly!! It was very obvious that both of them were happy to be starting out together out of the hotel. She showed around the ring he gifted her...and for a moment, I wished I could capture the scene. I didn't however. I was new to the place. We heard them say they will be married before a year. I only could wish them well... :-))

The Not-So-Good Times

2008-11-05T17:20:00.004+05:30

Missing family - (esp Saku) - my baby without whom I haven't slept a single night since last 3 years 4 months.
Wanting to see/know/feel everything with both of them (J & S)
Imagining how Saku would behave at everything I could see.
Talking about Saku.
Feeling bad/glad entering hotel, leaving hotel, entering malar's place, leaving malar's place.
On way back, finding myself all alone in that BIG waiting hall!
The long shopping - time and effort.
Having to think for myself. :-)
Having lot of time to think many past things... and sometimes, doing too much of thinking especially when it was time to go for an outing and I chose to stay back.
My 7 a.m. Rush-around and being stuck in Office Lobby. Using Webex to send chat message about my location. :-( Attending the meeting (minus the audio) but waiting for someone to let me into the office.
The Iron Stand tucked away in a small compartment and me feeling like Mrs Bean while taking it out and dreading to put it back in!!

My Thoughts on My Trip

2008-11-05T17:00:00.004+05:30

When I looked at old people travelling with great discomfort, conversing in a language that is new to them - in a way - though they are knowledgeable.. I was glad, I would not have to make my first trip abroad with trepidation - years later - if my son goes and settles beyond boundaries. :-)

The thought that also came was, why is this trip so important in itself? For me and mine. First, this is not just my achievement (and when did we start counting achievements on the basis of such trips?) - it is the collective shower of all that I have collected so far. I imagined the reactions of my Grandma if she were with us physically and ditto for my dad as well. Chachiji would have told me, "Hooon tu aidi dooor jaana hai, thoday dina di gul hai. Tu fikar na kar, sab changa hoyega." (Now you are due for a long travel, just a matter of few days though. You don't worry, everything will be fine.) I am sure, my father would have proudly presented my trip as his own achievement. It is, that way, an achievement. Today, his children are equally capable to make a mark in their own way... that would have been a consolation to papa. I know, and so, I wish, he was here physically to ride on my blessings. :-(

Then comes my mother. Maybe because she is so much a part of me that I don't think twice that this means to her. I know, she is overjoyed. She feels she has played her part and all her hard-work (the toiling away day-in and day-out) has benefitted to educate us to be able to go beyond the boundaries. :-)) Yes mom. You are not the only one who thinks that way.

Okay, so, the family would have been happy with my good-luck. What about the family I have created and bonded with last few years? My Inlaws - they have been preparing themselves and me to be able to take the whole thing in my stride. They worry, they fear, they console and they raise my confidence time and again.

They understand (my mother-in-law and my mother) how difficult it is emotionally for me to leave sahil behind, though only for a few days. They can relate to the feelings only as a mother can. They know, without me saying it that every single day, I have had moments of pain when I have longed to hold my little son. I too know, the joy of holding him close, would also remain only as long as little he remains. The time is precious and the moments lost pain. Inspite of this, I went ahead and explored, what is there for all of us to gain? I surprised myself again, and again. I missed my son sometimes more than I wanted to, however, I was able to regain my composure and carry on with all that needed to be done. Moreover, I found time and reasons to smile and be happy. :-)) Overall, I lived a different life for ten days. Funny, isn't it?...

The most important one, no, two... One my hubby and two my son. Both of them adjusted with each-other and with my absence so well, that I feel nice knowing that I can count on my hubby to take care of his lovingly; without making it an obligation on me!

Professionally, I was more than satisfied. First came the Lunch Outing with my ex-manager - Bill (William Jackson). It was the very first time I met him and it didn't feel like that. :-)) That's because of the way he makes one feel comfortable. Sad, but the truth is, while he was talking of his children, his oldest daughter being older to me...I could almost hear my dad in his worries. :-( But yeah, we discussed so many other things and we thought may be we would meet again before I came back. Somehow, I didn't even find time to call him again, while I was there. However, I have mailed him now that I am back and settled.

Then, there were my team mates. All of them whom I met for the first time. I can say, they were nice with us and the meetings were good too. Ted especially was very sweet throughout our trip. He had even called to ask if we wanted him to pick us up on Sunday for lunch. I had to refuse as I was meeting Bill then. But yeah, the gesture had made us feel nice. :-) Another thing that greatly amused me was Richard telling us about his "Dance Tough Time" when he had visited India. It seems he told himself to imagine he was exercising! :-))

Strawberry Yoghurt - I remember putting it across somewhere earlier in my blog, that I "thought" I could never like the "Strawberry" flavour. I proved myself wrong on this trip. :-) I have been pleasantly surprised to note that I can eat even the strawberry if I savour the taste beyond the tip of my tongue! It may sound silly but the fact is, the thought of flavoured yoghurt would earlier make me go yucky in my stomach. As a kid, I could never understand how my sisters enjoyed the "sugary curds"...but, looks like, after having enjoyed "strawberry yoghurt", I have outgrown the 'taste restriction' as well.

Fork and knife - Yeah, it may make the reader think I was a villager once upon a time! :-)) The fact is, though I know the right way of using the fork and knife; it doesn't come as second nature. Maybe, its the lack of practice. Anyways, finally, I can pride myself upon achieving a reasonable degree of comfort with this as well. I can pierce almost anything with a plastic knife too! :-)

Jet Airways - Am smiling as I write this. It was "Jet Airways" years ago - whose "Cabin Crew" Interview I failed. It amuses me to recall what I had told my father about the interview. I had told my parents - "There were girls with short skirts and long slits and there was me - long skirt and short slit. Obviously, I was not the right choice for the style icons!" Way back, thats one way cabin crew was looked at. Of course, it didn't take me too long to understand that the confidence I enacted way back wasn't half as I felt...during the interview. It was just "trying something" for me then...

Yeah, what I want to put down is - the flights were good, cabin crew was also good. :-) (You think they might offer me some free flights!?!) By the way, I did 3 Feedback forms throughout the journey and one of those was really detailed (as that was the only one where I didn't have to select one of the four options and I could write what I wanted to.)

Music and Movies - Had fun listening to the songs that we enjoy back at home. (Tum Se Hi/Pehli nazar...) and watched Jodha Akbar/Taaray Zameen Par during my flights.

Seeing an American dressed in a typical as an Indian - In an Indian Outfit (Rajasthani more likely) - I was thinking about wearing my "Journalist" hat and interviewing her. What I managed to do was, almost hear her talk about her life to another lady. Looks like her son is growing up in India/ she makes frequent trips / hopes to settle in India some day, when she can probably bear up the heat months!

Found another lady with a black mangalsutra, dressed in a western attire, acknowledging and binding in similarity with her. I could relate to them as well. Its something different when you step out of the boundaries and bind yourself with something else altogether. Being foreigners, married to Indian men, both these women were relating to each other on more than one ground. :-)

My Trip-related Scribbles

2008-11-04T17:27:00.003+05:30

18-Oct-08
First time in 3 plus years,
First time in Saku's lifetime...
My small boy has grown
as my First Flight has flown!
*****
Will I be thinking of you?
You Two - today...
are my only thoughts!
*****
Child for me,
Big Boy for dad.
Child for my mum, still -
am always missing my own dad.
*****
Clouds seem like Cotton Fluffs
From the plane's window.
*****
Hopes floating with clouds,
Reality seeping in.
I am what I am,
Because of my kith and kin!
*****
Times like these, when I am overjoyed;
There comes an underlying sadness.
I wish, so much was accomplished papa...
when you were besides, just here with us.
*****
I console myself as I see
the clouds passing around,
feel closer to you today...
than ever on the ground!!
*****
The mind wanders
to make surreal connections,
all at once -
with my own self!
and with the strangers,
searching for a common ground?
*****
26th Oct:

Going forward forgetting what is Ours,
here I see, someone trying
to keep the connection alive...
Life seems strange? It is.
*****
As I leave the homeyou have made yours,
I have the - "I am going to miss"
miserable feeling!!
*****
Haven't even been here too long
to know - "I am going sadly"...
is it to do with different time zones?
or some bonding entirely?
*****
So much to see
so much to understand,
each experience seems intriguing
to the barren mind,
in a new land.

Remembering Little Things About My Trip

2008-11-04T17:23:00.003+05:30

The things I want to write in detail about...having made my Onsite Trip. :-)) This is just a list to fuel my memory, incase it fades........

The Going away (How it was to leave my son)
How the Little One has been in my absence
Courtesy
Courtesy on road - the unavoidable comparison
My hotel (pics of my room) - (mrs bean and many other such thots)
My breakfast, lunch and dinner
My commute to office, the view from my onsite colleague's desk
Being a mom - though away (imagining responses/reactions, feeling emotional now and then, keeping the balance until I saw him again!)
The Homecoming
Just being me - Thinking and Thinking
The "unemployed hours"
Walks in the evening
The latest technological stuff and me! (microwave, dish-washer, stove, heater, iron, iPods!)
On the way - journey (sbi aunty, explorations of the kiosk, vomity me!)
Home Truths! (role-reversal learnings)
The Take-Aways

My Little Star

2008-10-22T13:55:00.003+05:30

My dearmost Sahil. The Child who is very well-behaved for his age. Not much fussy, clean. :-)) Yet Playful and Daring like all other kids. His courage in Darkness and spirit of being fearless inspires me. He is observant and catches all the tiny details you may miss. Most loved is his unique style of repeating his parents actions or words - something that etches itself in the memory!

Dew Drops from Another World

2008-10-22T13:31:00.002+05:30

Its strange, how you can suddenly feel removed from all that you held so close, by just moving physically away! Being miles away, of course emotional strain would find a place for itself. Stranger as it may seem, the new life has made everything until now, look like a story. I have this funny feeling that like a leaf, I have flown away with the wind and though I know I would be back near the roots where I belong... the feeling is very different from anything experienced so far.

Everything that I am noticing around me, having so much more time now just for myself as well... I am kind of feeling lost. :-( I don't feel out of place and that's good (so far) but then, why is there so much of a longing to just get where I was before this? Comfort? I don't know if Comfort is the right word. Familiarity? No. Togetherness? :-) Maybe.

More in the next post...there is so much to jot down. Most of it, I have already sent across back home, still, there is so much to savour in, just for myself. Its good that my son is taking it all in his stride (in a way, better than I am able to). This comfort shall help me survive! :-))

So, that said to myself, while I am here, am trying to make the most of it. New Place, New People, New Things, New Experiences, New Learnings. So far, nothing bad. Missing my father the most, coz I know what this would have meant to him. Seeing kids soar, does wonders to the parent's spirit, doesn't it? :-(

The thought that I had while on the plane - am closer to the clouds than ever before! When life has so much to give, why put in so much of thought? Go on Girl, the Journey will teach its lessons on the way.

My Biggg Boy's Huge Attitude

2008-09-25T17:26:00.001+05:30

1. When asked if he would be able to stay with his dad alone, when mumma goes away for few days; Saku says, "No Promlem (problem). Sahil not cry. Sahil big boy know."

2. If sahil and I have had a disagreement, I must not be the one to say that I won't speak to him. He makes a face and says, "U not say, mumma. Sahil say, sahil not talk to you. Sahil not give you coloring alcho."

3. When he is about to jump from somewhere I fear is little too high, he still jumps. After landing without any broken bones and teeth, he tells me, "I not break my teeth. I not break my bones alcho. I not got blood alcho." :-) He is so happy to have had his way and also, having proved me wrong. I just console myself and say, "I am so happy, you didn't get hurt." Afterall, that's what matters right?

4. While preparing him for his First Terminal Exams, as I sit and point at the Pictures in the book, expecting him to identify them, Sahil announces - "Mumma, I am Ma'am. Give me bukk, I ask, you tell. okay?" Before I can react, he has the book and starts questioning. Best is, as I answer correctly, he acts as if he is happy with my answer and tells me, "Wait. Let me put TICK." and proceeds to act as if he is ticking the pictures I have answered :-)

5. Off late, between my change of job, I have been discussing about my ex-manager (SM) to my
hubby or mother. As I joined the new office, I asked Sahil that night, "Do you know what is the name of mummy's new office?" My son, puffing his chest as if he knows the right answer (I had told him the name sometime) tells me, "Yes, I know. Sanjay Mandal." I was amused with his quick response. :-)

6. The other night, while I was cutting Ladies Fingers for the next day's lunch, my son wanted to help me. As I don't allow him to independently hold the knife, he tried shifting the cut ladies finger into another bigger vessel kept aside. While transferring it off the cutting plate, I told him not to use his fingers. He picked the "cutting plate" and swooshed the vegetables into the vessel, announcing, "Crane taking kachra and putting it garbage lorry." :-) Mum and I were amused at his connection to Crane and Lorry. :-))

7. Having seen his dad keep his car sparkling clean at all times, on spotting a muddy car on the road, my son tells me, "Mumma see. That uncle not cleaning his car know. So dirty. Why mumma he not keep it clean?"

8. This one is too good. Sometimes, when I have had to speak to a colleague when I am at home with sahil, I have told him, 'its my Boss." to enforce his volume low and no disturbance discipline. The other day, he mimicks me so well - "Hello, yes, yes, okay, one minute." Then he turns towards me and says in a hushed tone, "Mumma, I am talking to my Boss. Please don't make noise." I burst out laughing and he adds authenticity to his admonishings by saying, "I told you know, I am talking on the phone." :-( I act as if I am sorry at my bad behaviour and put fingers on my mouth and watch him finish his so called Call. :-)

9. I am sure he does not know what "Boring" means. He stil used it when I was asking him to repeat writing certain alphabets. :-( If studies are boring at 3...what wud he be!?!

10. Found one way to make it interesting. I have told him, he can use color pencils to write letters or numbers in the rough note. :-)) He likes it temporarily.

11.I was hiding a second chocolate bar..and he tells me, "mumma, tell me truth." I gave in.
I explained, I was playing and not lying. Had tough time convincing him.

Bro Misses Sahil

2008-09-25T17:21:00.002+05:30

The things my bro remembers, now that he is little away from saku...

1. When perplexed with something that anyone else (me and bro, me and mum, me and hubby) are discussing, Saku asks, "Wat Huppenedddd?" and is never satisfied until he hears the whole story two times!

2. Saku used to search for mamu soon after entering nani's home. Now that bro isn't there, but one day when he spotted the bike, he searched for his maamu. :-( Had tough time convincing him that mamu isn't there at home.

3. When talking of sharing something with his dad, he recalls, "ammaama, accchacha, mamu alcho". :-)

3 Full Days with Sahil

2008-08-18T16:41:00.001+05:30

The long weekend seemed really long with my son acting kiddish and grown-up at will!

1. Bought a Study Board for him. More than using the chalk, my little one was eagerly waiting to use the duster. :-) Had a thot, how nice it would be if we all had a duster to wipe off sad memories too?

2. As my niece had met him just a week ago, we couldn't meet this week. The Rakhi that I tied to little fellow on her behalf, he chose to refer as "Watch". The one his dad wore, had a lovely small peacock.

3. As he passes a glass of juice to his father, he repeats my instructions to his dad! - "Papa, Oold it 'Carefully'."

4. Sahil was telling me, he wants to play with me by running from a distance and jumping at me. I was telling him, we will play that a little later. He suddenly looks at me with an attitude and says, "I am 'Serious'." I burst out laughing at his seriousness but he got what he wanted. :-)

5. Saturday morning, as I stood and watched TV, my son had the guts to question me - 'Mumma, why you watching TV? Why not Making fud for papa and me?" For a second, I wanted to take his class on me not being a cook but the Lady of the House. I then reminded myself, whatever I may be, its the role I play at different times that dictates the orders I get. :-) I gladly ensured that the little fellow and his dad help me with the so called 'making fud'.

6. After having 1/4th glass of Pepsi and one apple, Sahil complained of stomach pain. As I began to reproach the pepsi he had had, my son says, "Pepsi not making my stomach pain, apple itna saara khaya na (ate so much apple na), that's why my stomach paining." Don't worry, I ensure he gets v little of the bad stuff, that too v rarely. :-)

7. His new statements in anger - "I'll not take you cycling alcho. I will not give you coloring alcho."

Big Bazzar @ Vadapalani

2008-08-18T16:39:00.000+05:30

Having been to Big Bazaar @ Banglore, I looked forward to a similar experience @ Vadapalani. Was worth it. :-)

Spent close to 4 hours there during the weekend. Good deals, good profits, good ambience and Good Quality. Guess thats the difference between the Saravana Stores that ruled the 'economic buyers' minds for sometime in Chennai now. Its the Quality of products thats catchy at Biz Bazzar.

Aug 15-16-17 being some 'Maha-Sale' days...got a lovely carpet for half its price... Besides good offers on Fruits, Juices, Towels, Bottoms for my son and other house-hold goodies. :-) The clean wash-rooms are an added advantage, esp. for families that come to shop with their kids. Well managed. Of course, some more pointers to the Wash Room would help.

Just one hitch - we had to wait and eventually hunt for a trolley. Probably BB must employ some help for taking the trolleys back from people leaving the shopping mall and hand-over to people entering the same.

My Rating - 9.5/10 :-)

Niketa Mehta and the God's Decision

2008-08-18T16:38:00.000+05:30

The Creator has ruled against the Court. :-)

Niketa had a miscarriage few days ago. As earlier, many would have their own views and voices for/against the same...all said and done, as a parent, I can understand the relief the couple must be in now. Thank God.

Both ways its pain.
Emotional Strain.
Tearing the heart nowto avoid known bane.
Sadly though...,
Still being thought insane?

Just Before Rakhi - Weekend Updates

2008-08-12T16:29:00.002+05:30

Met Khushi and Di last weekend. Khushi is my 6 year old niece. She is Sahil's elder sister.

1. Bro had got similar coloring books for both the kids. Sahil spoilt first 2 pages (partly) in his book and then, wanted to exchange his book with Khushi's! When Khushi was upset and not talking to him, Sahil tries to make her understand, "Both same same lion only know". I thot, if they are same, even after he colored in one - why did he wanna exchange? :-) He failed at convincing Khushi but succeeded in amusing us.

2. Di clicked a cute pic of both the kids, Khushi was somehow managing to carry Sahil off the ground. On re-looking at the pictures captured in the mobile, we came across a similar picture in almost same pose, that was taken 2 months ago! Somehow, the posture seemed new and old both!

3. Had fun with we all playing "Chidiya Udd" that sahil likes to call, "Butterfly Fly". :-) Just before patting the hand as punishment, instead of only adding the 'masala', sahil also says, "salt, masala dosa". :-)) I was glad to hear Sahil say, "Pigeon, Parrot, Crow" all by himself! It was also good to see, when Khushi was calling out "Table Flies", Sahil announces, "Table not can fly". "Know mama?"

4. Saku becomes a Copy-cat with Khushi. If didi using spoon, so will he. If didi doing Coloring, so does he. If Didi says she wants to do to Toilet, he does tooo!! Heights, isn't it!?!

5. On being asked to be generous all the time, with Sahil's demands for Khushi's Balloon etc, Khushi asks her mum, "You not like me know?" I just wished, I could explain asking her to give it to her younger bro has nothing to do with not liking Khushi! :-( Didi spoke to Khushi and I admonished Sahil. Both the parents failed to reconcile the children at that moment. A few minutes later, they were again playing together.

6. Worth keeping safe is the memory of both the kids having cold-coffee with one straw each, out of the same glass. :-)

7. How could I forget this? After having tender coconut in the evening, Khushi announces, in her big-girl tone - "I can hold my coconut in my hands, Sahil is small so he can't do it now." I was just glad, Sahil did not hear that statement and take up the challenge. His "Power Ranger" spirit is over-determined at this stage of his life. He doesn't want to give up on anything easily. :-) I can't afford to break my little toe with the coconut falling on my foot!!

Whats In a Thought - My 50th Post

2008-08-12T16:27:00.002+05:30

I was thinking of clinching a deal and was wondering, if it will eventually come to me. This is the thought that struck while I was pondering...

What is Mine, No One Can Take.
What is Not Mine - Can Not be at Stake.

Why worry? If its meant to come to me, it will. Even when I least expect it. Just as so many other pieces of the life's-puzzle that have somehow fixed themselves in a lovely form around me. If it doesn't come to me, that means its made place for something else, that will come. Right? Also, if it doesn't come to me, why must I worry for the loss?

How can I lose something that was never mine? Get the idea? ;-)

Pat on the Back to Meee!

2008-08-12T16:25:00.000+05:30

The Overactive Traffic Policeman I blogged about...was taken up as a "hot topic" in Adyar Times 10-August-2008 paper!!! Sadly, I do not find an online version of the paper to link it here. Will post a picture of the Policeman from the newspaper cutting... :-)

Niketa Mehta's Case - My views as a Woman and Mother

2008-08-07T14:31:00.002+05:30

By God's grace, I have a healthy child.

Even then, I have always felt and understood how difficult it is for parents of a 'unhealthy' child to bring up the same. Not just the financial crisis, there is so much of emotional pain involved too. I understand, once born, the child needs dedication and care. As a parent, I am sure, all of us want and pray for healthy babies. Why then, we fail to support the Mehtas? Only because they have approached the Court? Or is it because we are as it is against abortion, even though its advised on medical grounds? The issue as I understand is basically, do the parents-to-be have the right to decide? As the law stands, No. Why???? Why don't we allow the parents-to-be to decide? Who is anyone else to decide what is right or wrong for them or their family?

Whatever be the law, as a woman and as a mother - only thing I can understand is... If I have to undergo the emotional torture of tearing myself apart to decide to end the life that's blossoming within me - I alone must be allowed to decide. Why should I have to look upon anyone else - other than my partner (at the maximum) to take the decision? Am I a selfish woman? Why do I have to Sacrifice what I feel is best, for Society or Court? Don't we tell ourselves to go with our gut feeling in most cases? Then, as a mother, if I feel for my child and I do not want to let my child suffer in future (once it comes to this world), why am I not thought capable of deciding? How can anyone else judge what I feel or not feel? How can I find sense in the "Hopefully, child will be born fine. If not also, parents must be willing to take care." It is because the parents are
willing to take care, we are thinking and feeling in the first place. Why is this abortion plea being looked upon as "shunning responsibility"? Why are we failing to see - the common sense?

Isn't it common sense not to bring a life into this world that would suffer? That would be dependent? That would cause pain to himself and the parents through the sorrow it would suffer?

Isn't it easy to just watch others battle out the sensitive issue? We would be doing just that, right, when the parents struggle with their baby (true, baby MIGHT be perfectly formed, but as of now, there are 'least' chances of that)... Who are we or the court to decide? Is the Court or the Judge the ultimate parent who is going to see 'his-own-born' suffer? Have you brought a child to this world to even know a bit of what it means?... Why do we fail to see that even the parents who approached the court, would have broken-their-own-heart to take the decision from their side in the first place? How can we be heart-less enough to say - as they are not attached to the child - they can give the child to some NGO when the child is born?

How many unknown abortions are taking place all over the world? Who is being held accountable for that? Why then, in this case, its becomes so much of an ethical drama? Please. Let the mum decide!

At this point I began thinking of re-organizing my thoughts (for better readability)...and I checked out other posts that had been written for the same case. Check this out for a comprehensive sumary... <http://elekhni.com/2008/08/abortion-and-the-niketa-mehta-case/>

Sahil Speaks...

2008-08-06T12:14:00.006+05:30

1. As he observes so much of all that he gets to see, he learnt about "Deodorant" sometime ago. For convenience, he calls it "deello". I have tried my level best to explain the harmful side-effects if the spray gets into eyes...to ensure Sahil does not ever use it by himself. We also keep those away from his reach.

Last evening, as we had a yucky surprise visitor - read Cockroach!, hubby sprayed the "Red Hit" over that. Sahil comes running to me with a sulky face and says, "Mumma, papa using Red Deello on cockroach, mumma." :-)

2. The other day, sahil surprised me by talking like an adult. As his dad was going to reach home late, and it was already dinner-time, I enquired if the little fellow will eat his dinner. He asks me, "When Papa coming?" Before I can answer, he tells me, "Let papa come. Then we eat." That particular day, no amount of convincing helped and he ate with his dad only.

3. The other day little fellow was insisting his dad gears up for a 'fist-fight' with him. Dad being tired was trying to avoid, so he suggested, "Let's watch some Action movie". Immediately comes the reply - "Ac-chun movie also they doing like this know. Dishum dishum, I'll shoot you". "U come papa, Sahil not beat you more. we play slowly-slowly". I was amused at the explanation trying to wade away his dad's fears!

4. The songs he sings and how!
------ "Oh baby when U talk like that!" - "Abhimanyu* dont talk like that"
*Abhimanyu is another fellow at his creche!"
------ "Dekho dekho kya woh paed hai" - "Deiko deiko, kya paid hai?"
------ "We are going to Ibiza" - "We are goin to eat pizza". :-)
------ "Main kabhi batlata nahin" - "main kabhi. I not like this song".
------ "You are my honey bun, sugar pummpy-umpkin, sweety pie. Apple of my eye"

5. If he does not see me immediately when he calls for me, on seeing me, he says, "mumma, where you gone? I churching for you." :-(

6. He shocked me one day, as I picked him up from creche. He tells me, "Ajay fighting with me today. Sahil not Aajay friend. Ajay kill me." The "Kill" is actually - tamil for pinching!

7. He has learnt to say - "Water". I liked it more when he used to say, "Taughter".

8. Off late, he has been hearing my bro and me discussing about "passport". Last night, just before sleeping, he fakes that he is making a call to me. He says, "Mumma, hello, mumma, where are you?" I said, "Hie Sahil, I am at Kripas. (Kerala)". Then I ask him, "Sahil, where are you?" He says, "I am at A-Port (airport). I want Paa-port (Passport). You bring. Okay. Bye". :-))

Straws and Bubbles

2008-08-01T17:51:00.002+05:30

Just as I was thinking, I don't have anything new to blog about...I got 2 emails from my friend/sister saying they are happy to read about the little fellow. :-))
* A friend of mine was telling me how her nephews reacted to the 'Drinking Straws'. I could recall how we adults take this simple thing for granted, whereas, as a parent, this is something we 'teach' our kids! It seems the twin boys (aged 3) were pretty comfortable with using spoons to eat their food but had not been introduced to 'straws' until they went to a juice shop. On seeing their aunt (my friend) easily drink up her juice, they imitated the same - causing only bubbles and juice flowed out of the glass. :-) They were blowing air into the glass instead of sucking the juice (just like Sahil had done the first time!). Moreover, when the repeat tries were not successful, they were put off by the failure and chose not to drink the juice, if they can't have it with straw! :-( Of course, now they have mastered the 'art'. :-))
* Bubbles. No wonder the baby-shower-gel companies decorate the bottles with Big Big Bubbles. My dear Sahil loves to point-out the Bubbles (which we fail to notice!) while bathing or even while brushing. He watches the Bubble excitedly until it breaks - while it slips from his arm, until his toe, onto the floor! The more, the better.

My Cheeky Cheeku!

2008-07-31T11:56:00.003+05:30

1. Last night, when Saku didn't want to sleep and his dad was insisting, Saku asks Jeshu - "Whats your Pommel man?" (whats your problem man!) in typically his daddy's style. :-)

2. The other day, on seeing the "Dhoni-imitating-Rajni" advertisement, Sahil says, "Dey Rascal" in such a cute way that I wished I didn't have to stop him from using the word. :-(

3. This morning, when his Dad left with him for school without taking his rain-jacket, Sahil tells me: "Sahil like rain, sahil like to get wet, papa also like rain know?" as I was mumbling that it might rain, what would he do.

4. I try to scare the little fellow with an imaginary "Budda baba" sometimes. Because we don't want him to be a Scared Cat, he has also been told, if he behaves well, Papa will beat up the "Budda baba". When Sahil gets angry over something, sometimes he says, "You wait. Budda baba come and beat you nicely." Or he talks to Budda Baba as, "Budda baba, come soon. Mummy not putting Tom and Jerry know. Take mummy and go to your house." :-))

5. Ask Sahil the time and we get one of the following answers: "10.30", "8.30". Today he gave a very nice one - "30.40", trying to impress urgency that I was already creating while dressing him for school.

6. As it becomes late to put Saku to bed almost everyday, I push aside the bed-time story reading sometimes. Last night, inspite of it having been beyond the bed-time, I took the initiative of reading "Pit, Pat, Pet and the Naughty Giant" with Saku. Guess what my son asks surprised (after we finish reading) - "Mumma, Tomorrow Holidayyyyyy?" :-) I had to explain its a working day tomorrow and we can't stay up late everyday. He again asks me, "Mumma not tieeeuuuudddhh today?" (mumma not Tired today). I love him!

On Falling - Out of Love

2008-07-31T11:42:00.003+05:30

This is a poem that I had written many years ago, when someone I knew had a break-up. As I saw the person tearing apart to take the final steps...I wrote the lines. I happened to read this again recently (pulled some books out of the attic), and I felt, its much more relevant in today's times, when sadly, most of the relationships are becoming 'temporary arrangements'. :-(

Not Anymore

I have been so confused
and for so long,
now, I don't know
whether the confusion
will end here
or, Go On.

I had been believing that I was in love,
the type in which
deep sighs were spared
and salty tears abhorred.
But now, after all this
which you have seen me suffer
and much more you didn't know
I went through,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.

I had always believed
you would respond
even to my slightest call,
But I proved myself wrong.
When I have been screaming,
you said, you don't hear
Anymore.

When did the Love end?
I can't point.
Is there any other chance?
I can't say.
But for now,
its best we,
part our way.

There is something else
I want you to know,
I can't say so,
but we both know:
How much responsible each one
of Us is, for all this...
and much more.

I took so long
to understand you didn't need me,
after having found
your different destination.
I don't want to
tag myself along
like a Candle-light;
when you reach out
to pick your star.
I thought being there
forever beside you
was the Ultimate Joy
I had been looking for.
I was wrong.
Not Anymore.

I never imagined
that you would leave me
and walk alone.
I had been so sure
of the security which
our Togetherness brought along.
But I guess, I had
been foolish enough
not to see the storm
which swept me off my feet,
and I was left empty-handed,
stupified and exasperated.

Inspite of all this,
I still thought I was in love,
even though I was devastated.
But now,
I know better:
I am not in Love,
Not Anymore.

I have always been
getting webbed within
the valley of thoughts
but no more.
I have been indecisive
for a long span of time
but no more.
My confusion gave way
to intensive soul-search
and the painful probation,
has led me to
even more painful conclusion.
I was unable to realize,
I did not have courage to make a decision.
But No More.

I thought our Love
was an undying one.
I believed no one grows...
out of Love:
but You proved me wrong.
And now I am at a crossroad,
where I know, I have to put a Stop.
I can't go on.
I am not in Love.
Not Anymore.

Daily Meditation For Women - WIIIFM

2008-07-30T13:03:00.006+05:30

*WIIIFM - What's In It For Me....
God has His Own way of answering some of our questions. Just as I was wondering, if I need to change...there is this meditation message in my Inbox on "Taking a Chance".

** I am adding today's meditation with their Copyright info here, to let my reader's know what they stand to gain by subscribing to "Daily Message" from "Meditations for Women".

*** To enrol yourself, use the hyperlinked image below the "Daily Messages to Empower Yourself" text (on the right side).

Why Can't I be just - Noddy

2008-07-30T10:55:00.000+05:30

Yeah, must learn to become Noddy. ;-) Anything assigned? Nod. Anything re-routed? Nod. Anything stalled? Raise a concern but remember to Nod. Being asked to go against the rules? Think. Question. Confirm. Nod. Being asked to create history? Nod. Being asked to Erase History? Nod. Being asked to involve someone else? Nod. Being asked not to clarify your point of view? Nod. Being asked to generate Reports? Nod. You want to differ with someone? Nod (no need to differ). You want to offer suggestion? Nod (No one needs it). Someone not willing to decide? Nod.

Nodding is the only way up? Thanks Noddy. Sometimes your philosophy makes life grind less-stressful.

What To Do When...

2008-07-30T10:43:00.002+05:30

1. Someone whom you think a Friend, proves you wrong?
2. Someone whom you trust, chooses not to trust you?
3. Someone whom you discuss things with, prefers to avoid sharing important decisions?
4. Someone whom you expect to understand you and value you by creating bonds, walks over you as a surprise?

Only things left to do is:
(a) Avoid blaming yourself or the other person.
(b) Avoid feeling pained even if intentionally hurt.
(c) Overlook what happened and go your way.
(d) Look for what lies beneath and correct yourself (even if you can't spot what went wrong)
(e) Most importantly, do not estimate your worth by such incidents. :-) People come, people go, life still goes on.
(f) Don't look for answers. All questions do not have answers.

His Japanese-Styled Hindi

2008-07-29T14:17:00.000+05:30

That's exactly how my bro describes the basic 'hindi' that my son speaks. Japanese-Hindi :-)
His gender-mixed sentences are good. Wanna capture some of the 'beautiful phrases' he has spilt recently...

1. The other day, when Sahil got irritated with me not letting him come into the wahsroom while I was washing clothes; he stares at me and says, "thahher ja. batati hoon main tujhey." (Hold on, I will tell you.) Thats something I use rarely for Sahil, just to give him a feel that I have got irritated with what he did.

2. On seeing my bro's bike in their compound and not finding my bro in his house (bro was hiding), the little fellow asked my mum, "Naani, Maamu kahan gayi?" (where has mamu (in sense - she) gone?) My bro was caught laughing.

3. While doing home-work, Sahil suddenly pulls the eraser and says - "main karoongi". (I will do - feminine)

4. When he is trying to impress me with something that he remembers I have asked him not to do, he says - "Main aisay karoongi toh mummy marengay" (If I do like this (feminine), mummy will beat me (plural))

Sour Grapes?

2008-07-29T14:10:00.004+05:30

As Sahil was slowly munching Grapes last evening, his dad asked him - "Why are you eating grapes so slowly?" We thought maybe his grapes were sour. Pat came the reply, "Grapes havin' Bones know, that's why I am eatingh slowly. " We realized, we had bought big green grapes which were not seed-less. :-))

Un-Learning Corporate Skills

2008-07-28T12:39:00.004+05:30

Yeah, the title of this post is a little absurd.... This is not a "Guide to Dealing Professionally", incase you thought it was. I am just going to add my Reminder Points (so I can look them up again) - picked up over the jobs I held until now and the roles I have seen people play. :-) The Number One rule is my favourite, though I never agreed with it personally in my younger days. :-))

1. There is no place for any emotions in the Workplace. (Your Tears ... fears ... sentiments ... and feelings are better placed elsewhere).

2. Do not expect anything from anyone. Its easier said than done, but I guess, this is the best way to avoid being pained for anything.

3. Share only about yourself. Even by mistake, do not share your opinion of anyone - however close your-so-called-friends may make you feel. That way, you save yourself 2 pains - One - Of having said something you shouldn't have and Two - Of having shared something with someone who may not even feel the way you do. :-) Opinions Change, Opinions Differ.

4. Remember, in the Corporate World, everyone is "More or Less - an Acquaintance". Do not work/worry/bother to create friendships. Who seems a friend today, may not be so, in the long run. Save yourself the trouble of saying what you feel like saying. Ask yourself - "Do I need to say anything at all?" before you open yourself to others.

5. Trust everyone equally. Special trust is Only for yourself, God and your Manager. ;-) Jus kidding. Observe how people deal with each other, what level of sharing they do. No harm in sharing your views on general topics. Anything personal, do you need to share?

6. Remember, You hold your position firstly because of the work you put in. Ensure you give your best there and better it each time you have something to do. Everything else is secondary.

7. Do not Value yourself based on other's opinion. Similarly, do not go by someone else's opinion for anyone. Find out for yourself. Start positively.

8. Last but most important. Look for the "Positive Forte's" of your colleagues. Try to imbibe the same and move on.

Officially - What I know, what I don't know --- no longer matters. I have matured, finally.

* Inspite of all my new wisdom, I have made profound friendships at my job places earlier. I value all of them. I have begun to change my thinking to the extent that, if an acquanitance has to move one step ahead and change into anything of value - it would happen. I do not have to go through the 'thought-process' of 'how good/bad a friend an acquaintance really is'. Be natural, be myself while I am here. Thats all that matters, right?

Doing Homework with Maamu

2008-07-22T14:06:00.002+05:30

For few 'd' letters that my son was to complete as Home-Work yesterday, he allowed my bro to guide his palm. As if he had had enough, Sahil suddenly changed plates. Asking my bro to hold the pencil, Sahil states - "Maamu, see poperly. I am Miss. Hold the pencil, now make like this, do like that. Sahil teach now know. You do like that only. Okay. Don't make NAYKES." I was aghast at hearing 'don't make Naykes' as I had jokingly told Sahil sometime earlier that when he writes independently, his letter 'd' looks like snake. My son is mastering the art of catching words before they spill out of our mouths!

My bro declared that Sahil can do his homework after going to his house. :-))

Our Trip to Kannur

2008-07-22T14:02:00.001+05:30

Saturday Morning (12July) had made an un-planned trip to Kannur as my father-in-law was hospitalized. By God's grace, he is much better now and recovering. Wish to summarize the activities my son absorbed himself in, during the time...

1. The long hours at hospital taught my son to be relatively still. Every half an hour though, at the first opportunity, the little one would run out into the corridor. At one point, when he was too frisky, I tried telling him that the nurse would give him an injection. He retorted, "Biggg Injection? Nurse not give Sahil, sahil small boy know." :-)

2. Once home in Kerala, the huge space does wonders to uplift my spirits and how can then my littul one remain unaffected? He goes around exploring every nook and corner, especially the frontyard. He finds the 'Centipedes' and other worms. I remember, pervious trip, he had come to the kitchen and shown me - "Mumma, see 'Entipeeeede'" and when I turned trying to search the creature on the floor - Sahil opened his palm and revealed the crawly!!! I had made him drop that immediately (was scared about his safety) and admonished him from holding those.
Touching those.

This time around, he spotted some of them trying to go into a small fence like enclosure. Sadly, my growing up son chose to show his power to those help-less crawlies and stoned one before I could catch him doing that. Proudly, he comes running to me and says, "Mumma, Sahil beat that entipeeede. Entipeeede not moving now." I had to admonish him this time, against any such attacks, until he is in danger. Next morning, my son finds a group of Centipedes and goes as close as possible to them and shouts to me, "Mumma, see, Entipeeede coming to bite me. Sahil beat it now?". :-)) I was half-smiling when I moved him away and asked him to stand far, so they won't bite him and he doesn't get validity to repeat his stoning!

No wonder my Father-in-law was amused at his grandson's researches in his yard.

3. As work kept me busy, I had strictly told sahil to 'Watch your step, see where you are keeping your foot, otherwise you will fall down' while coming downstairs alone. One still afternoon, as I was cleaning dishes, my son announes, "Mumma, sahil coming down on stairs. No pommel (problem). Sahil coming slowly. I am seeing Mumma, where my foot going. sahil not fall down. Sahil not geth hut (get hurt)" :-)) I was thrilled to note that my words were saved in the little one's head atleast for the time being.

4. After returning back, while dressing him up for school I posed the question, "Saku, Your Maam will ask you why you did not come to school so many days. What will you tell Maam?" My sweet little monkey excitedly announces - "Sahil tell Maam - Sahil gone to Kerela know. Sahil played nicely." I was convinced his teacher is not going to trust that we rushed on long leave for a valid reason. :-(

Searching - Why My Blog Exists...

2008-07-22T13:58:00.001+05:30

Why I write
Coz I like to. Truly, I don't know, its just that it comes with so much ease to pen down and there is always so much to write about. Just not enough time though. :-( The travails of a working life, the willingness to just drop everything and only live life each day - minus the 'Have-Tos".

What Your Comments Mean to Me
Ideally, one must not base her importance on the appreciation/criticism of another. :-) Of course, When it comes to writing, its important to know, what the 'Readers' think of it. Is it something they want to read? Is it something that they would like to come back to? Is it good enough to give them a sense of being, as that's basically what 'Writing' is about. Are they able to relate to what they read? (In that regard, my posts about my kiddo are worthless? I don't hope so! They make me feel good, is it only me who relates to those??)

Read somewhere - The Blog must have a Goal too. Not just our lives. Goal for a Blog? What's the Goal of my blog? This brings me back a whole circle to the question I posed myself - 'Why I write'? Why am I Blogging? Is it to prove to myself, I have not forgotten to capture emotions in words? Nay. To help my ever-fading memory? :-) Maybe. When did I start? Way back in my school-days? Yeah, that's when I wrote some poetry - partly imaginary and partly emotionally. Hmm...Turned to Haikus style for convenience. What did I write recently only for myself? For Father's Day - wrote a heart-felt poem for my papa, whom I miss more than I like to acknowledge. Time has taken him away earlier than I could return the care he showered...Where is this post heading? Its supposed to give me answer to the ultimate - why.

Coming back to that...I can write about almost anything. ;-) You tell me, what you like to read about? What do you look for - while Reading Blogs? I'll see how far I can mould my blog for that. Till then, its all going to me my kiddo and life as I see it. :-) keep Readin and lettin me know what You think of what U read!

How to Make My Blog Better
One thing, its all text presently. I must add some pics. Thats pending. What else will enhance the writing space? Your Comments. :-)) Maybe a little work is required on my Profile too. Template? I updated that recently. I read some valuable tips on improving Blog Value. Let me see if I can ensure sticking to the "Good-to-Do" tips. Your suggestions are welcome.

Taaray Zameen Par and My Moon

2008-07-11T17:46:00.003+05:30

Wonderful Movie, already acknowledged as a Class apart from the rest. I felt it is an eye-opener for parents, especially relevant in our times when the kids are mostly being marketed and showcased. The children being the soft targets of all advertisements and the pushy-parents who wish to see them soar (higher than their own achievements). Strange, how we parents seem to have started measuring our success as parents by the achievements we showcase of our kids. How tough it is to be a child in this Generation then! We grow with them, in a way... and am sure, many parents grew with this movie that brings alive the childhood, not just the needs of a special child.

Guess, its time to stand back and look at the world with the little ones, through their eyes; instead of forcing our glasses on them. Let them shade their own lens, let them build their own vision, let us just enhance what they see; not show them what we see/want them to see. Can we hold their little fingers and still walk in their pace, without pulling them to walk faster???

Leaving aside what I think of the movie, let me pen down how it touched my little one. Sahil loved the "Bum Chik" song. As most other kids, he doesn't like the 'Ma....' song where Enu cries. For few days, after we saw the movie, he was comparing himself to Enu. One day, I was surprised, when I was making him wear his shoes, he says, "Enu mummy make him wear shoes know!" I had almost forgotten the specific scene when she hurries him to school (I do that everyday too!) but yes, I was touched when my son remembered that.

Watching that movie has made me more aware of the 'childlike curiosity' that my son displays now and then. As it is, sometimes I feel, I am a very emotional parent. Seeing the world with Enu's eyes...was tough... but it has become much more beautiful ever since; as I stand and watch my son grow(instead of pushing and pulling him). I am learning to give in to my child's demands to tie his shoes himself, eat his food himself even though all it takes is a little time and spill-over. :-) I want him to grow at his own pace. As Aamir says, "Every little ant carries the load according to himself".

I have mostly shown the Moon to Sahil, unintentionally on Full Moon days. Looking at the moon few evenings ago, Sahil says in a little sad voice, "Mumma, see, Broken moon." :-) Had fun telling him, he will grow too!

Sishya School Fete - 5July2008

2008-07-09T15:53:00.001+05:30

I was invited by a colleague whose kids are in Sishya, to take my son to the Fete held in their school. :-) I enjoyed the evening and yes, it brought back so many memories (of my school-days!) and helped me create fresh ones with my son...Here's the gist of all that came flooding to my head...

(a) Seeing the 'Young Kids' act older than their age was an amusing reminder of the way we have been same too, long ago. :-) The thought that they too would soon outgrow being 'their age' was painful somewhere.

(b) Even funnier was to see, we grown-ups tryin to feel/behave younger than we are. :-))

(c) There was this long queue for 'Tatoo' for the kids and a fresh-looking high-school girl waiting to get a 'Scorpion' done on her face. :-) While waiting for his turn, my son waivered between 'Power Ranger' - 'Batman' - 'Spiderman' and returned to original choice 'Power Ranger' just when our chance came. I was glad, I didn't have to waste the maker's time while my son tried to decide!

(d) Even the small girls prove they are 'Girls' and boys prove they are 'Boys' by selecting 'Butterflies" and "Spiderman" respectively...

(e) The 'Pony Ride' - The 'Pony' was much more of a 'Horse' than a Pony! I considered my tiny little one, and the Horse seemed 8-10 times Sahil's size...it didn't take me long to back-off from the ride. At that minute, wished Sahil's dad was with us so I could unhesitatingly push the little fellow forward. Moral Support!

(f) Wanted to get my Hair 'Streaked' and the little one's 'Styled' but the crowd was HUGE in both the stalls. I was sure, had we tried to get a turn; my hair and Sahil's would have been 'pulled in all directions' and may not even be on our heads eventually! :-) Gave it a glance and a pass.

(g) Merry-go-round was 'rounding-off' at such a speed that I felt dizzy watching other children on it. I asked Sahil if he wanted to go on that, he said - "No. Mumma." :-)

(f) I always thought my son would like Cotton Candy...he didn't! :-) Tried spitting it out (like he does with food thats not of his liking) and messed his mouth. :-)

(g) Bullock-Cart Ride - This was the 'Star Item'. Paid for it and made my son comfortably sit in the traditionally covered cart. The cart had some windows and Lo! within a minute my son jumped into my lap through the window. He felt the two Bulls in the front would take him somewhere away from me. Missed the first round - as he was not willing to sit - until he understood the extent of the ride!

While the cart made the First Round, I tried boosting his confidence by making him understand that they would return to where I was standing. Second round, he allowed me to seat him again. Just when the ride began, his wailing too!! Before I could decide how to handle him (as I didn't want him to miss the experience)...the Bullock-Cart Ride agent started requesting me to join my son for the ride! I felt foolish for a second, but then thought, if he doesn't have a problem - why am I thinking so much! Just got into the Cart and all the little ones turned to acknowledge the grown-up by their side. My son - ofcourse, was the happiest. :-) As I was beginning to feel at ease, my colleague spots me adjusting myself inside the cart and announces - "I don't think the Ride is for the Parents!" I wished, I could vanish. :-))

One saving grace was, the silly thought in my head - "What all the kids make their parents do!"
;-)

(h) Birds and Animals - This was fun. Sahil tried to catch the two ducks and was amused at hear their sound. We saw birds, parrot (it even sat on my shoulder, Sahil was scared!), cats/Kittens and Rabbits! :-)

Overall, a Big Thanks to S for inviting us to the Fete. :-)

Willing to Sell property to Vegetarians Only!

2008-07-09T15:52:00.000+05:30

What? Huh? Did I read it correctly? ... yeah, I thought the same things when I saw the online 'Flat Sale Advertisement' of some of the flats in Chennai. I don't understand the rationale behind such a criterion. In what ways would Non-vegetarians be not-the-right property buyers? I can understand the 'vegetarian-oriented sentiments' of a house-owner if the property is 'For Rent' and the Owner resides in the same premises. But while 'Selling' off the same, looking or rather opting to look only at the Vegetarianism of the Buyer...sets me thinking.

Do Vegetarians make better buyers? Better property keepers? Are lesser violent in case of discrepancies ;-) ? Why the favouritism? What if the kids of the so-called-vegetarian family turn non-vegetarian years from now? :-)

Keep the comments coming, if you have an answer...

June End Updates

2008-07-09T15:50:00.001+05:30

1. Went to temple with Hubby/son/Bro and Mum. Had instructed my son not to make noise while we go in to pray. He religiously behaved himself and I was happy that not even once, I had to say, "Sahil, don't make noise". :-) I was reminded he is afterall a kiddo, as while coming out of the temple gate, my son asks, "Sahil make sound now?"

2. The other day I was speaking to my bro over the phone and he asked if I wanted him to bring anything. Ofcourse sahil did not hear my bro's question, but he decoded the same from my answer - "No, I don't want anything". Almost immediately, my son says, "Maamu, sahil want to talk" and I handed over the phone to Sahil. He says, "maamu, bring bananas okay. Sahil like banana. Okay, Bye". No chance given to my brother to refuse!

Letter to S - On Entering New Relationship

2008-07-04T14:04:00.003+05:30

* This was a letter that I had originally written for a close friend who was apprehensive about her approaching wedding. :-) Also, passed this on to some other friends who valued and appreciated the same in their trial times... Wasn't sure if I wanted to add it to my Blog, but still...here it is.

Dear S,
This is going to be a Big Mail. I'll try to put all that I have felt, learnt in my marriage to help you feel more secured, more confident that you can handle it all well. :-)

One, I wish to share something with you. Inspite of it being an awaited relationship, we also faced some trials in the early days of my marriage. Believe me, even in love marriages, one does come across small-small things… after all, married life itself has lots to teach and it’s a new experience for every individual.

I was not good at time-management…I have been quite slow irrespective of the fact that we had to be in office on time… After more than one year of togetherness, I have learnt a lot, as a wife, as a partner and biggest learning is….there is lots to learn each day and yes, I have consciously improved on points I had to get better at.

So, just in case, you come across small-small dissatisfactions/trials in your daily life, please remember and focus on the fact that marriage is a lovely relationship and its worth doing all you can for maintaining happiness / balance and love in the same. You may face some petty differences, which when occur seem biggest things!!! But are actually not, if you look at them objectively. Be prepared to make your home a nice place to be – atleast for the bonds that matter.

Two, take good care of yourself and your hubby, take time out for yourself and him, don’t be too demanding, put forth your view with love …… and life would be not just easy, but also enjoyable.

As a friend, I pray you have a life-long loving relationship with your partner (that way life would never feel overpowering…it would just be nice to live).

Three, I request, whatever your trials, please do not discuss it with anyone who can’t help, except someone whom you can trust to advise well and still be quiet about it. It not only can give a bad impression about your hubby (which deep inside we women don’t like to) but also about in the ways you are ruining your relationship.

Four, I want you to understand that for almost a year now, you both will be in the phase of getting to know each-other. Your understanding phase also starts the day you marry… and yes, please note, we all are not perfect. It is good to strive for perfection in ourselves and others, but please set realistic expectations, if at all you set any.

Five, it becomes your responsibility to communicate and convey your feelings to each-other. This is most important when something troubles you but as a Golden Rule, if you are comfortable communicating without hurting, your marriage will go a long way. Believe me, that’s half the trouble. We women like to believe, the men will understand hints or unspoken feelings. Trust me, how much ever a man might love you, if at all there is anything that makes you unhappy, until you convey it to him, he might not be even aware!! So, don't wait to open up only when things do not go your way... be open to communicate your daily life feelings (simple things like you might like if he holds your hand while crossing a road, and it in no way means you can't manage to cross it alone!).

Six, the good habits you both build together, the happy routine job that you both take up together, will make things nice however hectic the day. For example, you can make it a routine to apply paste on each-other's brushes first thing in the morning. Just the gesture can make both of you feel nice about the bonding. :-)

Seven, try to be nice partners for each-other. Find out what your likes/dislikes are. What does he look for in a partner? What do you look for in a partner to be open and loving towards him? Discuss about your feelings and how far you both can trust each-other, knowing the fact that it is an arranged marriage. Make your husband know you trust him and you want to know the nitty-gritty details about his office etc just to feel you both are partners in everything and not because you feel insecure. Most of the men, do not discuss office things at home….for various reasons. Some feel, it’s got nothing of interest for wife…especially if it’s a different culture at office……Please speak to your hubby lovingly. Don’t give him an essay of what you like, how you want him to be….just when he behaves in a way that makes you unhappy, let him know that you are unhappy. That doesn’t mean you stop eating, throw tantrums, keep sulking. Speak. And not rudely, be polite. Your anger should not be directed towards him but the behavior which makes you feel bad. Hope you understand.

Eight, please do not expect your husband to be like you. Don’t expect him to behave the way you do. Why should he? After all, he is a different person, right? In a way, we play our parts.

Nine, being romantic and doing things which create/highlight that particular feeling is a great beginning for a relationship. If you fear that he feels you are not so close to him, make him feel close to you. Show your affection towards him. Let him know you would be happy when he shows affection too… At times, there may be certain things you wish to talk to him openly about….but you may at the same time be holding on. It cud be that you don’t want to upset him. Then, if you think that what you wish to say, might upset him and if it’s trivial, just leave it, don’t say. But if you feel, it’s important for him to know, then speak to him. Don’t worry about how he takes it; just be there for him even when he gets upset (if you are taking the risk of telling him something that might upset him).

Ten, we all have a tendency to over-expect. But only with mutual understanding and the will to maintain love and peace between the partners, everything can be overcome. I can’t know your hubby’s nature, it’s for you to explore. You can’t change him, yes. But with your love and sweetness, you can still ask him to be sweet the way you like him to be….when he does something that makes you happy, tell him it makes you happy!! Not just whine each time he makes you unhappy. Give praise and honest view every time (now that doesn’t mean be cuttingly sharp when it can be avoided)…

Eleven, if you get bugged at home, in his absence, do things you think will be useful for both of you…or just read something of value…make it a habit to have some relaxation time for both of you everyday, let him know if he talks for ten-fifteen minutes before sleeping, you will feel good the entire day (next day)…..I am sure, when a person knows how he can keep his wife happy, he will try to do so. And also, you ask him how he would want you to be….that also will encourage him to be more open to you.

Twelve, don’t get hurt for small-small things (now this is easier said than done)…

Thirteen, anything tried with love and faith never fails. Just don’t think so much!!!! Just live!! And enjoy your special togetherness!!

Fourteen, you know, if we women can keep our tongues in control (trust me, we women can come up with the most devastating statements!!), it definitely will create a sweeter home (now this doesn’t go to say, we needn’t fight when wronged).

Fifteen, I keep reminding myself, what matters most is not how much time you spend together (that does matter, yes) but more importantly how you behave with each-other everyday….. and by God’s grace, we are also everyday learning how to manage things well (even issues we might slightly differ on)….without creating a racquet for it…..

Sixteen, life offers lots of opportunities to create fresh wounds and also, the methods to overcome those will differ each time. Not every time the other person can forgive as soon as you ask sorry. And Not every time you need to ask sorry, just a sweet smile and sentences like, “yes, I understand, I made a mistake, will improve on this” might help a great deal….besides, the willingness to change if need arises…for mutual happiness.

Seventeen, you must think things from his perspective also.

Eighteen, and nice if you realize, how small words can create profound wounds….so, be careful at all times. We all get angry, but you know, after a while, anger by itself fades out and then we might be left repenting what we said or did. So, always pray when angry. That really helps!!

Nineteen, each couple has their own trials and their own means of setting the rhythm of their lives… both must be quick at dissolving the differences. Small-small things affect every couple.

Twenty, in marriage, it's best not to wait for other person to come and apologize, even if one may think other was wrong! Don’t both want the love back? So why shouldn’t either be first to break ice? All this and much more…same way, there mite be times when wife is wrong and hubby waits for her to realize…if she realizes soon and is back to normal herself great….or she can always approach hubby…or vice versa..

Twenty-one, growing up has lots to do with changing and most of us don’t like to change. We think, why should we? Sometimes, changing ourselves little makes life much better…

Twenty-two, about you feeling emotionally down, now and then…well, that’s going to be part and parcel of first year of anyone’s marriage!! Trust me, I used to get terribly moody too and for no fault of his!!!! Believe me, it comes with hormonal changes and lots more ;-)

Twenty-three, please understand how much you love your hubby or he loves you, you both may still behave indifferent at times. It happens. Just like that. Without any reason. You know, we women attach lots of emotional drama to all our feelings, men are not like that. For them, simpler the life, the better it is. For us, until we find out reasons for each casual smile, each wink, each grin, each angry expression, each fluttering emotion….we are not satisfied!!! Read this. I used to make lot of long faces too and guess what? When I used to be upset for some silly thing, making a big long face over it, he would come and tell me something like, “already you have such a thin long face…you look horrible when you get angry”. I would feel like crying thinking that he is so heartless to say such a thing when I am so emotional…..but you know what? I learnt soon that he likes to irritate me when I am angry because he finds it too much to come and make me feel better (by begging me or asking me sorry-sorry especially when I am just moody) for small silly things. And, I have also understood, if he knows its something important and I am feeling sad/bad about it, he would be the first one to come running to make me feel nice.

Twenty-four, it is with experience that we all learn the true caring nature of the husband! Please do not fret easily, give you and him more chances to share more smiles. Please do not think he does not care, he does, maybe he can’t show it off very often. Especially, when we can be silly enough to take small things to heart, head, analyzing and fuming over them!!

Twenty-five, ensure that you remain happy and keep him happy. Don’t give importance to all things, only to those that are really important. We need to be able to differentiate. We take all things to heart. That’s not required. If your hubby loves you, enjoy that feeling. Don't worry about it!! When you feel much more secured about your mutual understanding, you will not worry so much.

Twenty-six, we can’t become emotionally strong like men, but of course, we can get our own emotional control higher. We can not stop feeling; we can learn to control and channelize the same.

Also, want to tell you, please don’t think all that I have mentioned above is the ultimate truth….you need to experience and grow on your own….and I am sure, though we are equally sentimental women, with time, you will also learn how best to tackle things which seem so out of order at times…..there’s lots to come with each passing day….

Marriage is not who is right, who is wrong but how to set wrongs right and how to be happy together. It doesn’t matter who needs to improve (half the times its both, men talk less about their improvements and women talk too much!!).

Just take care, I wish you enjoy the period that you are having now, after a year all trials now will seem like trifles …..

I guess, that’s enough for your entire first year of marriage. :-) Keep smiling and take one day at a time.

Regards,
Me.

First Homework

2008-07-01T15:01:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was the first time my son came home with some Home Work. He had half a page each in Number Work and Alphabet. It was a different experience altogether ---- to hold his tiny palms in my hands, while he grips the pencil, trying to form the letter "c" and number "1" on the dotted lines. :-))

For C, I was trying to amuse him saying, 'make the head first, then the stomach"...(small letter c). He turns and looks at me and says, "it is C now". I wanted to share the same fun with hubby so was thinking if the little one would complete the whole thing at one go. I was wrong. Who can capture the interest of a littul one for longer than 5 mins at a stretch? :-) My mum failed too!

My son says, after forming letters in just two rows, "Mumma, sahil tiuhred (tired). My fingers paining." I was concerned but he puts my fears at rest when he jumps at his mamu and says, "Let's go shopping."

Hubby had his own experience trying to help Sahil do the home-work. No doubt he enjoyed it for a while, but eventually his patience gave in. At the end of it, hubby tells me - "we need a cook." As I look at him puzzled, he says, "So you can spend some more time with Sahil". :-))

Men!!!!!

2008-07-01T14:59:00.000+05:30

Guess what hubby cheekily told me during the weekend???
I was upset over something that he should not have said...esp. in the tone I don't like... and how
he makes up for the mistake! His apology begins, "See, I didn't mean to be rude. Now don't expect me to say 'Sorry'. As I begin to grin, he adds, "Next time I do something wrong, say something you don't like - You make me read your blog. Okay? Fine??"

I find myself rolling with laughter that my dearmost sounds as if having to read my blog is a Punishment! Wonder if he really meant it... ;-)

* He is excused temporarily (until my next post), even if he did mean it. :-))))))))))))))))))

Once a Mom - Always a Mom

2008-07-01T14:58:00.000+05:30

I read this somewhere long ago - "Once a Mother, always a Mother". That time, I was not even married and had just witnessed my sisters struggle with their kids...one after another.

Being a mom myself now, I agree with this statement whole-heartedly and infact, find some solace in the same too. Life is a Roller-coaster ride once the baby comes along, and there is no turning back from that point.

The kids are faster than the parents - in all generations! Somethings, like starting a bike that I didn't do until I was in high school, my 3 year old is already doing so as his RIGHT. (Even though under my watchful guidance) :-)

Girls and the Right Time to Marry

2008-06-30T13:48:00.003+05:30

The other day just heard some guys talking in the lift. One of them was complaining against the girls, who choose to marry late these days. It was nice to hear the 'other side' for a change. We, some married and some not yet tied ones are constantly discussing the topic - especially when any wedding is round the corner. :-)

Here's the chat between the two guys and my 'wish I had said that' included:
*Arguments may be specific to IT Clan.

Guy A: These days, its becoming V bad yaar. Most of the girls are wanting to marry only after they work for 3 years after their Engineering etc.
Guy B: Yes yaar. These girls tell their parents also not to look for an alliance before that. They want to earn lot of money, before they get married.
My Head: Yeah, its true. Most of them want to be self-reliant before being tied down. Who knows what future brings? One way, its good...but then, how good is late marriage?...

Guy A: Money. Thats what rules even girls minds these days. They don't want to marry until they have some back-up.
Guy B: By the time they agree to marry, parents have some tough time searching for a good groom.
My Head: Yeah, right. But for that matter, aren't the Guys willing to work hard and save up as much as possible, before taking up the family responsibilites? Why are the girls being blamed for this attitude? But again, who is at a loss??

At this point, the lift reached my floor and I wished, I could go until the Guy's floor to know their Conclusions - about the Working Girls and the right marriage time...

My Head: Hmm...its good to get married while you are younger, before your minds become more stubborn (as in, I am correct everytime!). Marriage calls for adjustments, in many ways...once you are older and equally capable of money-making, do you wish to settle down for something lesser than desired? How would you survive the rigmarole of having to deal with a Guy's ego, even if he is a loved one?...

Only My Head: How much willing would a girl be to making adjustments for harmony? With both ego's soaring high...where would the satisfaction of a happy relationship exist? For whose sake eventually would a girl marry?....All this and much more leads me to another controversial topic - why is it so important that a Girl marries???....

Latest Haikus

2008-06-23T14:43:00.000+05:30

---25april08

Ek aur subha aayi,
kuch yaad aa raha...
kuch jaisay bhool gayi.

---28April08
Mixed emotions overflowing in my mind...
nowhere related to happiness of any kind...
Sometimes force myself to think and decide,
whether to feel or jus let feelings slide!

Young one is now 3!

2008-06-23T14:38:00.003+05:30

---My son is becoming more of a thinker these days. Few days ago, while we played "Acting Acting"..... he analysed our mutual angry reactions!! In his words, "Mumma gettin angry, then mumma telling know - I will leave you here and go". "Sahil gettin angry, then Sahil telling know - Sahil not your friend". "Papa gettin angry, then papa telling know - I will not talk to you." Everything was fine, until I suddenly realised; I have never told him, I will fetch him back from where I say I will leave him!! I made sure, next time, we were out and I got an oppotunity (that came with ease!) to tell sahil, I will leave you here and go - I concluded with, then, I will come with papa later and take you home. :-) My son, happily chirps, "okay mumma, leave me now. Come with papa, okay?"

---While climbing stairs, I am sudenly pulled away from the next step, by a little hand gripping my dress - "Mumma, its red. stop!". The "Red Light, Green Light" play as I climb stairs at the end of a tiresome day - makes me wonder at the innocence of his childhood.

---Sahil says, "Sahil not can do" for something he 'can not do'. I wonder which is a better way to correct him - "Sahil can not do" or better still - "Sahil can do". :-))

---My son has learnt a valuable lesson in Bike Riding. I just wish, it doesn't fly away like all other small things. He says, 'if we going fast know, we fall down know, we ghet hurt know; then, we cry - mumma mumma'.

---Two days back, he showered me with his love. Guess, what he called me - "Kutty mumma".
:-)) (He lovingly calls his doll as kutty baby)

---The doll they gave on his first day of school has become 'Sahil's baby'. He relates to her as -- "Mumma, sahil not eating, mumma scolding know. Sahil telling baby, baby not eating - Sahil scolding then." :-)) Thank God, my scoldings that seem to work sometimes (when he is playfully ignoring food) are being taken in the right sense.

---On me trying to cut the nails of my cousins recently-born baby, my son tries to act like a grown-up. He says to the baby, "Mumma cut sahil's nails know, sahil not cry. Sahil show fingers pOperly. Baby moving know, then, mumma cut finger know!" :-)

---5June08 - First day of his LKG. The parents of the fidgety new-schoolgoers were more impatient I felt. For many more 'waiting to see them settled' parents like me, it was a big day. Watching other children make crying mess and their parents make fuss - my sahil too started making some crying-like noise - albeit sans tears! :-) Wasn't I a proud mumma!

---4June08 - First time my son asks me a question in malayalam - 'pooaam pettin
illya?" (Not able to go?). Where? At a signal!

More than being Just Me...

2008-06-23T14:35:00.001+05:30

Have been thinking about sponsoring a child since my son's birthday. Last year's birthday actually. Looks like I have finally found a purpose. I know I want to do something for other little ones - more so, as my little one is growing everyday. :-) Besides the routine money-making tasks, I am now getting a clearer vision about what I really want to do. Hold on...will share more as I get the ball rolling for this...

On the First Anniversary of my Blog

2008-06-23T14:32:00.002+05:30

Its One Year this June - since I hesitatingly started Blogging... and am sad to note, I haven't reached anywhere so far. Was tempted to read some tips on the so-called 'Successful Blogging' recently. Read and realized, I need to work on my Blog... need to have a Goal. Goal? For blogging?? Yeah, to make it 'effective' in the least sense. :-(

So, what's the goal of my blog? Well, I need to search for it - its there somewhere - deep in my mind. :-) Basically, I just needed some place to just let my thoughts run ... and I pen them down, as that happens. But, in that quest itself - I seem to have failed. I haven't dedicated time to do just that - ! I put down somethings, now and then (esp. about my son). I think of putting down many more thoughts - and just miss doing so.
* - The last para starts and ends with 'so'. :-)
** Let me think - will get back with something good - about the Goal.

Tagged Myself and You...

2008-06-03T16:04:00.002+05:30

Was tempted to do this tag and took this tag from Temu's Blog:

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?

Kaal - Hindi (Watched when I was carrying my son, and I wondered WHY did I?)

2. What book are you reading?

None presently. Browse, parenting sites and blogs when bored.

3. Favorite board game?

Carrom Board (with anyone) and enjoy Scrabble (with my hubby).

4. Favorite magazine?

Reader’s Digest.

5. Favorite smells?

Cigar\Brut\Johnson's Baby Powder.

6. Favorite sounds?

The sound of the waves, thunder, laughter of my kiddo and heartbeats.

7. Worst feeling in the world?

To lose a parent.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

What is to be Cooked and In how much Time. :-)

9. Favorite fast food place?

Everywhere is crowded. :-(

10. Future child’s name?

Soni (if at all).

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d ….?”

I would spend a considerable amount on going for family vacations, buy gifts for loved ones wihtout second thoughts.

12. Do you drive fast?

I ride fast, when possible. :-)

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

No. I sleep with 2 human-like teddy bears.

14. Storms - cool or scary?

Coooool.

15. What was your first car?

Esteem.

16. Favorite drink?

Appy Fizz.

17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would …”?

Learn Sketching and other Creative Things like Glass Painting.

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

Yes. My grandma even used to marinate it and deep fry. :-) Tastes good.

19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?

Brown.

20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?

Amritsar, Gurgaon, Kota, Chennai and Kerala.

21. Favorite sports to watch?

Hockey. Ice Hockey too. Figure Skating.

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?

Temu is a soft person at heart but typically like a coconut - covered with a tough exterior. Very Practical. Temu - correct me if I am wrong ;)

23. What’s under your bed?

Nothing.

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?

Why not?

25. Morning person, or night owl?

Depends, can be both. However, can work better early hours.

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?

Mix of both.

27. Favorite place to relax?

Open spaces - terrace, garden, beach (when not crowded).

28. Favorite pie?

Chocolate.

29. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate. Actually can have any, except Strawberrrrryyyyy.

*BTW I tag You.*

The Overactive Traffic Policeman!

2008-06-03T14:14:00.000+05:30

On my way to my son's creche, every morning, I see a traffic policeman, who guides the traffic and people with such energy thats SURPRISING! Really, that guy would make you think and re-look at him, searching for some signs of madness or drinking problem...

The first day I saw him, I thought he was trying to create an impression over some Minister's convoy that may be due to pass that way. I was proved wrong...Then, for few days, I could not help but get amused at his energetic antics, for the routine job that he needs to do. Last few days, I have humbled. :-) I am now neither surprised nor amused at the way he conducts traffic. I have moved on to the 'Inspiring' feeling that comes from watching him perform and out-perform himself.

Day-after-day, in the sweltering heat also, he behaves as if the heat or the boredom of his task has no effect on him. With the same 'HIGH-ENERGY' he signals stop to one side, signals to come to another side and like a superman turns around and signals the third direction. I may video shoot him to add authenticity to this write-up. :-) Its worth watching...

I have started thinking, why does he do all this? To keep himself happy? To attract public attention? To bring a few smiles around, at his expense? None of these reasons seem to fit the puzzle he creates. I am still searching for the 'sahi jawaab' ...

*Note: Hope hubby doesn't notice my admiration for the over-active policeman! ;-) Good that he hardly takes time out to read my blog. :-))))))))))))))

2 Weeks Before Turning 3...

2008-05-26T17:13:00.003+05:30

The Littul ons' Bday is due in 2 weeks...he already seems Big for his age. What's he been doing off late???

--- The other day when Hubby could not start our car, as the battery had got little old and cold...I had the honour of dropping my son to his Pre-Kg class on my bike. While I was hurrying to get my keys and other stuff; my little fellow searched through his pile of toys (broken mostly) for his toy car and pulled-out the batteries with much Joy! He went running to his dad with his Eureka! and says, "Papa, look, Sahil got battery. Now, we go in car?" His dad had to explain to him that his toy car only can run with those batteries...

--- He somehow feels everything that glows is because of "battery". As we go together on my bike, and he finds that the signals are not working...he asks me, "Mumma, signal not working, battery finished?"

--- I had scolded him a few days ago for running out the main gate at his creche, while I was fetching his bag. Yesterday, as we walk hand-in-hand out of the same gate, he questions me: "Mumma, why you left gate open? Sahil run out know, then? You scold me know." He was reasoning with me that its my fault if I leave the gate opened and tempt him to go beyond the safe zone! How apt. :-)

---Yesterday, being a holiday, I was pampering him since he woke up. As I refused to give in to his demand for 'chips', he tells me, "Mumma, now don't make cry, okay?" I laughed until I could digest that he is subtly using emotional blackmail already!

Mothers' Day and Me!

2008-05-13T12:12:00.002+05:30

It brings a smile as I count my blessings. My little 'almost-3-year-old' son went shopping with his dad to get a 'ghiffth' for his 'mumma'. Wished me 'Appy Muther's Day - Mumma' with a naughty smile as he handed me a lovely card. The card - of course - courtesy my hubby was a touchy one - signed as 'Saku' - jus as my son likes to be called these days.

Being unprepared for the surprise, it meant much much more. They wrapped up a lovely 'mum holding son' show-piece for me! Being the kid he is, saku was more impatient that me and could hardly hold on, until I opened the wrapping, unveiling the gift. Best was yet to come.... as my eyes filled up with motherly warmth, Saku announces that the lady is 'mumma' and the baby is 'saku'. I jus wished, even though it was a present for 'Muther's Day'... somewhere a special place must have been for the father who guided my little one - to make it so special for me.

Anyway... am sure, he now knows, we (my son and I) must be upto something when his day approaches! Wait for Father's Day man!!!

*Note: Will put up a pic of the 'ghiffth' here!

Ups and Downs

2008-03-27T16:24:00.001+05:30

Clock Ticking away
my mind is in a sway...
Do I just go away?
**********************
Pending tasks to be done
Tasks many but me just one!
Can do them only - one by one...
*********************
Freedom
Personal Space
Choices - do I have any?
**********************
Rough weather
Bloom or Wither?
Soar or Surrender?
**********************
The will to stand for myself
against all odds, whatsoever.
No more, no less.
***********************
One good thing.
I hear my murmur...
calling out to the forgotten God!
*************************************

Things a Mom tends to think...

2008-03-20T14:41:00.001+05:30

1. When you look at a healthier looking kid of the same age, - "This kid must be older than mine!".
2. When you see colouring, drawing or block items - you are reminded of the time\effort you spend picking all that stuff from your floor (simultaneously trying to make your toddler join u in that task)!
3. When you see kids crossing the roads without looking even once - "I will ensure my kid watches his step!"

Little Things of Little Fellow

2008-02-21T13:41:00.011+05:30

A friend was askin me today, when I update her with so many funny things my son does....why don't I add the same descriptions to my blog? So here go some of them...

31-Mar-08

---My mum fell down and Sahil in all his innocence comes running to me and says, "Naani fell down - Nicely". He is yet to understand Adjectives and their proper use!

26-Mar-08
--Sahil threw a ball out of the balcony. While returning home, after picking it up from two floors down, as his dad scolds him for having thrown it, the explanation comes pat: "Papa carrying Sahil know, Sahil throw ball because". Blaming the dad for having carried him up while he held the ball! How will we be rated as he grows?...

17-Mar-08

-- My son is very helpful. He brings the utensils back into the kitchen from the dining room, after dinner. While I am still busy in the kitchen, he smiles at me and waits for a minute for me to acknowledge his help with my "Thank you". While going out, he quietly switches the light off, with a naughty grin he mumbles "U r wellllcummm". I stand to wonder, why does he help me!

29-Feb-08

---Looking with lot of interest into the vessel containing 'Dal', Saku stared at the long, slit green chillies laying at the bottom of the vessel. Chillies were partly covered with Dal and guess what my son compares it to; after minutes of acute observation? "Cocodile"! (Crocodile) :-)

25-Feb-08

---My son got a Bat-Ball set from his creche after the "Race" the children had among themselves. I was told that my dear fellow was least bothered with all the 'hustle-bustle' of the 'race' and he cooly walked watching everyone (moving his head side-to-side) till the touch line, kept the small stone on the line and walked back! Obviously he came last. His version of the race? "Mummmaa, everyone runninh, Sahi alcho runninh, sahi touchin, keepi, walkin, comin back. Mumma, everyone laughin. Aarti Maam gave bat-ball".

---At Family Day recently, he gave a little girl his Orange Balloon and when the girl was happily playing with it all alone (ignoring my son), he tried pulling it back from her! She gave him one nice Push. Guess how he complains about it to amma (his Grandma) - "ammama, sahi gave my orange balloo to bad girl. Bad girl pushin sahi. Sahi fell down ammama. Thenn...ammamaa...sahi tell mumma, bad girl takin sahi balloo". We had to remind him to tell his grandma that he was pushed because he tried taking back what he had generously given!

21-Feb-08

---The other day my hubby was scolding Sahil and we were caught unawares with him showing his palm towards his dad and mumbling "Thupidh fellow" (Stupid fellow)!! Probably, he learnt it from one of the tired teachers at his Pre-school. I was both shocked and amused. :-)

---Sahil and his maamu (my bro) always get into an argument whether what Sahil is wearing is "Knicker" or "Pyjama"...my little fellow announces angrily each time - "Jamada (where did he learn that for Pyjama!!) nahin hai - niker hai". Sahil wins!

---Last night (20Feb08), hubby was trying to record an inspiring alarm for himself. Sahil came up with one, after seeing my hubby's trials. He said, "Papa, wake up, Coloring waiting U". :-)) This was purely his thought (as I was suggesting to hubby to record something about what U want to do when u wake up)...Probably, Sahil thinks Coloring is so important!

---One day when I thought I would give the good news to my son that I have made his "one time favourite" - 'idli'....I told him, "Saku, mumma nay aaj idllliiii banayi hai". He quietly turned towards me and asked me, "poori banayi nai?", making all my effort seem waste!

*This section would be regularly updated. :-)

My Attempts at Haiku\Short Poems ---- A Collection

2008-02-21T11:27:00.011+05:30

12Oct07
Typing and Erasing...
Wondering....
Whats Worth Saving?
**************************************
10June07
Reminiscence.
Dreams of Yore
Again Lure!
**************************************
16May07
In heavy storm

engulfed mercilessly,

Chillness beckons me...

**************************************
15May07
Swans in pond

Rufflin beneath water

in tranquility?..

**************************************
30Dec04
Another new day,
mind racing in several ways...
joy exists, an it fakes!
**************************************

04June04
Just yesterday, I wrote a few words
about the recent loss...
could not continue for long.

**************************************
21May04

Colorful fiery imagery

suggests thundering rumble,

in wonder, I just fumble.

**************************************

20May04

Flowers and buds together

bloomed as well as closed tight...

shades of yellow bright.

**************************************

19May04

Glittering Brilliance

Flower blooms with another within...

The life goes on.

**************************************

18May04

All I am to see

is a pictureless cross sign,

I smile and I sigh!

**************************************

17May04

Deep orangish sunset

Initiates fresh morrow hope

At end of today...

**************************************

14May04

Shallow waters an Swan

feelings to let go n go on...

am retunin where i belong!

**************************************

11May04

Water gushing on

coming towards me in swing...

just like life's insecurities!

**************************************

07May04

awe inspiring me...
Thot captivating sight,

symbolizes thee!

**************************************
06May 04
Its one week today...
an' I am weeping within
Feel left out as it is...

**************************************

05May04

Take time to sigh

Breathe deeply when u smile...

Breath doesnt last.

**************************************

14Aug2000

What I saw yesterday?

a hazy moon,

shying away.

***
The distance seems too much:

when you are alone,

or totally non-observant.

***
The sky seemingly tranquil,

Stars shine brightly.

Sea hides behind clouds,

I hug the moment tightly.

***
I wonder at the sense of mankind.

Dog exhibits the same.

Digging the earth to hide his bone.

***
Clothes on the hangers

waiting to be worn,

Children walking naked in their want.

***

The joyous sea rushes

to meet me.

I jump in, leaving myself free!

***
Dusky brown-squirrel,

holding the nut,

her tiny palms.

***
A troublesome night.

Stillness in the sky.

I heard my mind cry,

in want of that stillness within.

***
A serene surrounding.

A calm sea, a few tress.

My imagination and I.

***
My cat staring pitifully at me.

With moist eyes,

beside her kitten's dead body.

***

A comfortable bench at the bus-stop.

A drunken man sleeping beneath.

Adjusting uncomfortably.

***
The smoothness of the kitten's fur.

The heart-rending mewing

piques my soul to bring home,

the alive new-born from the dustbin.

***

A beautiful sparrow, injuring her beak.

Hitting it on the iron bars...

longing for the sky.

***

A hermit in deep meditation

closing eyes to the transient world

Praying for Moksha.

***
I am happy.

I am not fortunate.

I chose to leave sorrow behind.

***
Why do we offer goodies to God?

We share our joys.

Hoping He'll share sorrows too!

*******************************************
16Aug2000

Pale-cream moon in the sky

Partly hidden by the leaves

Partly visible to the eye!

***

Deep orange scattering in the heaven.

So much calmness in his vast abode.

Why Turbulence in my small mind?

***

Longing heartily for something.

Reaching out to secure it.

Slips farther with my touch.

***

On a weary moonless night,

to quench my thirst for moon;

stars twinkle consolingly.

***

Relief for an old body

a comfortable non-screeching bed,

a noiseless walking stick,

a non-grumbling helping hand.

****************************************

Vagaries of Life

2008-02-07T10:52:00.002+05:30

When the strong wind blows,
Dry leaves often quiver,
but the tree trunks hold
onto their roots and the ground
below, with all determination.

Our life is no different.
When the whirlwind of
sorrow surrounds us,
this is the time to test
whether we are to be withering leaves
Or we are the tree trunks
Holding onto our support,
ready to withstand
any lash from time.

Some or the other day
Our fall is due,
but why give in to the
minor waves of difficulty?

It is sure to pass off
As nothing has the power to,
stay fixed at one point
for a very long time.

Does happiness stay forever?
Definitely not.
Then why think that sorrow
is the end?
What about beyond?

Even in the vast ocean
Carrying abundant lives,
Ocean currents rise,
Tidal waves occur.

The Earth, which beholds
the entire life,
All the surviving beings;
suffers from Earthquakes,
bears volcanic Eruptions,
sees forest Fires and
is often hit by meteors.

Is it very calm in space?
Definitely not.
The whole cosmic is in motion
continuing a regular pattern
and still something unusual
keeps coming up.

The leaves do not fall only
because of the wind’s strength,
they wither because they feel
they are dry and weak;
Disheartened, don’t even try to
protect their own fall.
Whereas the tree trunks
feel themselves powerful,
wholeheartedly try to gain
the strength from Earth’s depth.

It is not that
the tree trunks don’t get uprooted,
they too meet the
fate of a leaf some day;
but what makes them superior
Is that, they fall after a struggle.

Joys, Sorrows, Tears, Laughter...
these are the Vagaries of life,
Hope is to be their constant partner
During the Tests of time.

Nice Links

2007-10-12T13:33:00.000+05:30

Cuppy Cake

<http://audio.isg.si/audiox/?q=node/404>

The House of Hindi Poetry

<http://manaskriti.com/kaavyaalaya/>

Archies

<http://www.archiecomics.com/pops_shop/dailycomics/dailycomic.html>

Women - Articles

<http://www.meditationsforwomen.com/articles/>

100 Best of the Best Poems

<http://100-poems.com/poems/best/>

Chicken Soup for the Soul

<http://www.beliefnet.com/features/chickensoup.html>

Nice Poem for the Lost yet Loved Father

<http://100-poems.com/poems/best/0319006.htm>

Pebbles

2007-09-14T11:57:00.000+05:30

The other day, I was wondering,
if life is what it seems;
over-powering and clairvoyant
yet, enveloped in dreams!

Fine sand slips through
within my toes, at the shore,
Life's givin its best,
why then, asking for more?

As some pebbles slide below
the sole of my feet,
Inspired by the depth of Ocean,
clarity and dreams meet!

Hold My Hand

2007-09-13T16:06:00.001+05:30

Came across this beautiful piece....long ago. And everytime I read it, it feels nice...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared, so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

On Our New Home

2007-06-28T14:03:00.000+05:30

New Dreams taking shape
on the grounds of sand,
mud would be strong walls
with the swish of a wand.....

So much of thought goes in,
so many hopes entangle the mind,
somewhere theres fear too...
yet, the will to own my ground!

Tomorrow may rain or shine,
Roar thunder or lightning strike...
Today, now, am busy moulding a shelter
for me and mine....

With a song in my heart
I beckon the promises
the thought of home brings along
engulfed in togetherness....

Mud would be raised
from dust to a home...
would it be my haven
when I am in dust form?

Thots on a Rainy Day

2007-06-18T14:01:00.000+05:30

Precious time slips away
Without saying, what must be said...
Emotions topple as if in stampede
During the rigmarole of earning bread...

Watched a controversial movie
That struck some thinking chord
Is it so easy to get entangled?
Or so difficult to stay unaffected??

Its by sharing that love grows
Even by over-looking sometimes...
Its by pin-pointing that pain grows
even by staring in silence at times...

What is of greater value,
The love that binds
or the relationship that survives somewhere deep within...
what happens to untouched wounds
over a period of time
if all the time, overlooked?

When is the right time
to make time for bonds?
How long will the bond last
when not looked after?

How does any relation thrive?
Is it enough it exists?
Shudn't it be nurtured with togetherness,
borne with a pride?

Why does the mind go wavering...
In search of something that exists,
when to its existence
we turn a blind eye?

How much happiness one deserves,
who is to decide?

On Ur 2nd Bday

2007-06-06T11:42:00.001+05:30

Joy always to behold my little one!
How long would 'Little' you remain?
becoming your own person
with each passing sun and rain.....

Watching you become - in your gestures
"Big and Strong" - waving that little arm of yours,
leads me to all those memories of your birth
entwined with motherly love and tears!

So many times earlier too
I wished I could pen down
all the feelings I feel
Because of you.....

I begin about you and I
About how deeply I have felt
when I first held you close...
about how sweetly your fingers
have curled around mine several times...

Somewhere down the line
the flow sweeps your dad along
And I stop to wonder
what a bond you two have also formed!

While we watch you run around
uncontrollably sometimes now,
I am bound to recall - how you were
not crawling... but sliding along...on the floor!

Everytime anything new that you speak
fills me with unbound happiness...
And everytime I am overwhelmed,
there's a small prayer that unknowingly
escapes my lips, for you, my dear one!

Would you remember how we have been
How we are taken in by your presence....
when time flies by and you would too,
would our memories work well
when we would have to let you go...
to create your own world, find your own happiness...

Its with love we are bound
my loved one...
why then the fear of loss
that may or may not come at all?

And as if you now remain needing me
as in early stages of your life...
You have grown and our little circle
has enlarged to take in your little steps
even if those lead you little far,
little beyond my arms.....

Theres been so much until now
so much more yet to come.....
as I wish for a happy childhood
for my sweet little son!

It takes my breath away
when with a cheek you refuse
to make me your own...
jus to surprise later
with a lovely hug
totally unasked for!

As you learn to say things,
we strive to teach all we can...
sometimes, its nice to hear you call
Jeshee - in place of dad!

Let me hold on my emotions
for other days...
let me not outpour
all in one go.....

You are and will always remain
My cherished One, our little son!

Music - On the Road

2007-06-05T11:20:00.000+05:30

It surprises me to see, how easily people adopt new ways - sometimes even without analyzing where its leading them! For instance, the "supposed relaxation" that one achieves while listening to music - irrespective of doing so at a risk.

I wonder at the decision making ability of such fellow beings. Being on the move and being in a different world (by closing their ears and mind to others around them). Don't you think our decisions on the roads (Indian roads atleast) are also based on some of the sounds we hear around us as well? And what do we get by blocking off those sounds?

Its strange... these days, I see people walking on the road busy talking into their mobiles, with a non-bothered attitude even towards the traffic at times! Not jus this, but even people (here, mostly IT clan!) with music flowing into their ears, trying to cross the road, without even bothering to see Left or Right (leave alone looking twice)!

I wish, atleast those who read my blog, would stop and take a look at where we are heading - when we make certain changes to our lifestyle!

New Arena

2007-06-01T13:40:00.002+05:30

New Day, fresh beginning...
Nothin' on the landscape for anyone to see

There's always so much more
than what is visible to the eye!

There is so much to explore.....
startin' then...why with a Sigh?

Where to begin and where to stop...
Leavin' to Mind's eye to decide!!!!!